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Original poster

To be miffed about those who donate to charity instead of cards.

133 replies

Holymolymackerel · 08/12/2018 15:26

Just seen a Facebook post from a friend saying they are donating to charity this year and not sending cards.

I've already sent their card because one of the couple is dd's godfather and because I wanted to send them Christmas greetings.

Why are the two things related? Cant a donation be given and send a card too.

OP posts:
ElainaElephant · 09/12/2018 07:51

As far as charity cards go, it's not a great way to donate. I mean, if you are buying cards anyway, then great. But if its a choice of cards or a donation, the charity will get much more money from the donation.

A few years ago it was shown that almost half of cards give 5% or less of the cost to charity, and I think it was about 80% that have 10% or less.

Huntawaymama · 09/12/2018 07:51

I'm not really sure how deciding not to send you a card make them a poor godparent. I'm sure your child won't be bothered about a Christmas card. I'm sending them this year but it might be my last. I tend to buy "luxury" cards super cheap in January sales so I've got some for this year but tbh these days I struggle to find the time to write them.

Yidette86 · 09/12/2018 08:00

Sorry but I see Christmas cards a waste of time and resources, think about the amount that get sent and binned every year! Just a load of unnecessary tat!

If people want to donate to charity instead of sending cards then let them, I don't understand why this bothers people.

MsChookandtheelvesofFahFah · 09/12/2018 08:13

I assume that most people on this thread are not buying any wrapping paper/using sellotape or buying toys packaged in plastic? Can't take your hand-wringing over the bad-for-the-environment christmas card seriously otherwiseSmile

36degrees · 09/12/2018 08:58

I've donated some cards we cleared from a deceased relative's house earlier this year, with stamps on the envelopes, to our local foodbank, either for their own use or to give to service users to send on. The cards will be binned or recycled regardless, so why not get some use out of them first?

It's Christmas, on the whole people are just trying to be festive, whether it's sending a card, capably managing to do their own recycling, trading their resource consumption off in another way, making a charity donation, supporting the #justacard campaign, doing something (donating to charity, or sending cards) in memory of a relative, why not just take the position that your friends and relatives might do it differently to you, but they still mean well?

GrabEmByThePatriarchy · 09/12/2018 09:03

I'm personally pretty careful over plastic and waste generally, and in my family we don't do a lot of adult presents so our Christmas is greener than the average, but let's be honest, the main reason people in the thread are raising this point is because they find the accurate discussion of the environmental impact uncomfortable. So they look for something to deflect.

If you're aware of the environmental impact but you want to send cards anyway because you like doing it, crack on. Nearly all of us apply this rationale to something we like doing, so you've plenty of company. Just don't make out like you're waiting for a person with a suitable lifestyle to discuss the environmental impact, and then all of a sudden you'll be willing to take it on board. You won't!

Sarahjconnor · 09/12/2018 09:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Davros · 09/12/2018 09:19

Charity cards are not always just a donation. Smaller charities get their service users to design the cards and it's a meaningful and fun activity, for example, for disabled kids like my DS. Sending the cards also raises awareness of said charity. I still send them

ElainaElephant · 09/12/2018 09:20

I assume that most people on this thread are not buying any wrapping paper/using sellotape or buying toys packaged in plastic? Can't take your hand-wringing over the bad-for-the-environment christmas card seriously otherwise

Why? Are people not allowed to prioritise some things over others? Would you not take someone's commitment to the environment seriously if they got rid of their car, but then used a diesel bus to get to work? The common green slogan is reduce, reuse, recycle. I guess you think it instead of reduce it should be omit?

MsChookandtheelvesofFahFah · 09/12/2018 10:07

Perhaps you missed the Smile at the end of my post.

ElainaElephant · 09/12/2018 10:22

No, I saw it. I'm unclear as to how you think it changes the meaning of your post, however.

A Wink I would have understood.

chocatoo · 09/12/2018 10:22

When I see how much pleasure they bring to some people I make the effort to send them.

I do it because they are to people I care about and if some of those are lazy arses who cant be bothered to make the effort to send us one back, yes, I'm afraid I do think they are a bit selfish for not bothering. However, if they are friends of long standing who we don't get to see as often as we would like, I probably will continue as a greetings card with a few words in is a way of showing you care.

For anyone who thinks I probably enjoy writing them, you would be wrong - I find it a chore and I am a very busy person. However I get on with it because to me sending them to old aunties and uncles who enjoy receiving them and to those others who I want them to know that we are thinking about them, is important at this time of year.

Onlyjoinedforthisthread · 09/12/2018 10:24

I don't believe for a second any one who says they are donating to charity instead, some may intend to but don't get round to it and few might actually do it but my default position is to think they are just tight and lying.

For what it's worth we cut up our Christmas cards and use them for gift tags the next year.

For those of you who don't send for environmental reasons, I'm hoping you don't wrap presents or use bows etc

GrabEmByThePatriarchy · 09/12/2018 10:26

I do it because they are to people I care about and if some of those are lazy arses who cant be bothered to make the effort to send us one back, yes, I'm afraid I do think they are a bit selfish for not bothering.

It doesn't occur to you that they don't want to exchange cards and that you should perhaps consider sticking to people you know would welcome one, then?

chocatoo · 09/12/2018 10:43

Tbh I find it hard to understand why someone wouldn't want to receive a friendly greeting apart from the following reasons: it makes them feel guilty for not sending them, they don't want to stay in touch with us, they are too skint to afford postage (no issue with that one, it's expensive), or they disapprove of wasting paper/card, etc.

I am reasonably confident that they don't dislike us and knowing them as well as I do, I don't think it's because of environmental reasons.

ElainaElephant · 09/12/2018 10:50

Because they don't have space to display them
Because they don't want to display them
Because they don't want to feel like they need to reciprocate
Because they don't want people wasting their time and money on something that they don't regard as important

GrabEmByThePatriarchy · 09/12/2018 11:00

Maybe they just want to exchange friendly greetings with you but not in the same way you want to do it chocatoo. In which case, if they're selfish for not sending friendly greetings to you in the way you'd like, the same logic has to apply to you. Or, neither of you are being any more selfish than the other, you're both just doing what you like.

Jackshouse · 09/12/2018 11:13

I hate Christmas cards. They are the only object I would put into room 101. I hate the clutter.

I send 4. DH sends 3 but always suggests ‘we’ send more.
I tell him he is welcome to send as many as he likes. He never does.

We do give more to the food bank at Christmas, donate to toy collects, have a clear out and donate to charity shops, donate to local soup kitchen and make an effort to see people.

OffToBedhampton · 09/12/2018 11:53

@ElainaElephant
I wasn't talking about the miracle of 56p helping a card travel 800 miles though! It's not just one card and 56p though is it? It'd be 50+ posted cards, £25 on postage alone if I sent just to close friends and family (large family). Some people send more.

I can SM my family and friends 800 miles away for free and donate an extra £25 to my DSis's charity. And given most of our family are doing it, that's £500+ a year from one family alone.

If each family did that in someone's memory....FlowersFlowersSmile

I've never been keen on receiving xmas cards, prefer a hug or quick "Hi how's your Xmas going?' via SM or FB post. We don't have the room to display many Xmas cards so generally get put on a pile on side & thrown or crafted with. (We save the used stamps off envelope to give to charity). Always thought it a waste of trees due to people sending them out in bulk, too many to write for it to be meaningful. I can read a message from my family or friends as easy on SM as in a card and it's usually funnier. People should be allowed to do things their own way -send a Xmas card- or not send one & message instead.

ElainaElephant · 09/12/2018 11:59

Hey, I am not trying to convince anyone to send cards, I don't send them and don't expect or particularly want them.

But the postage cost for a card is not a rip off. Even if it was just going two miles rather than 800 it would be worth it - would you walk two miles for 56p?

Yes, if you send a lot then it adds up. And yes, it would be better spent on a charity, I don't disagree with you on that at all.

SouthWestmom · 09/12/2018 12:07

Oh my mum got really pissed off with me about this. Dc has been very ill and still is and I've said I want to donate £40 to a charity that helped us and not to cards.

Omg the blackmail - you'd deny me something that I love and cherish getting, I love getting cards, you're so selfish not sending me one.

Yura · 09/12/2018 12:09

i don’t get sending all these cards. tons of stuff that ends up in landfill for no good reason..,

ElainaElephant · 09/12/2018 12:11

So let me get this right.

It's selfish not to send cards to others.

It's not selfish to expect others to send cards to you.

Have I got that right? Grin

SoyDora · 09/12/2018 12:31

I genuinely don’t know anyone who cares so much about receiving a Christmas card that they’d begrudge a charity receiving the money instead 😂

backaftera2yearbreak · 09/12/2018 13:19

I do t send cards because I can’t be arsed. I do however visit, call email and text people I like regularly. Shrug 🤷‍♀️