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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Coworker obsessed with my baby

94 replies

Floopyandtired · 08/12/2018 11:26

DS has just turned one. Ever since he was born one of my colleagues and her children (10 & 12) have shown weird amounts of interest in him. I returned to work last week but during maternity leave whenever I popped into the office with him (I work very close to my home and get on well with my colleagues) she would take loads of pictures of him and get her daughters on the phone so they could “talk” to the baby. Last week she showed me a photo album on her phone of pics of DS that her children regularly look at. A bit weird/

But the final straw for me was yesterday when she was using the printer and I saw she was printing black and white pictures of DS. I asked what she was doing and she said they were for her daughters to colour in and put on their bedroom walls.

The thing is she is a very very sweet woman and I don’t think any of this is malicious or creepy. I think she just can’t see that it makes me uncomfortable. AIBU to feel like that? I don’t know whether to address it or let it wash over me.

OP posts:
UpstartCrow · 08/12/2018 11:29

Go to HR and ask them to step in, its completely out of order. Its too big a problem for you to deal with.
If she were a teacher she would be sacked for gross misconduct.

abbsisspartacus · 08/12/2018 11:30

Stop taking your baby in

pinkyredrose · 08/12/2018 11:30

Jeez that is beyond weird!

Thesmallthings · 08/12/2018 11:31

Yeeaaahh that's creepy.

I'm not sure what you could say with out offending her.

Other then just a please don't I'm not comfortable with it

flugelhorn811 · 08/12/2018 11:31

Oh wow, the colouring in is just bizarre!

Redglitter · 08/12/2018 11:31

That is beyond weird. Its one thing taking an interest but her behaviour isnt normal. Can you speak to your boss about it

Singlenotsingle · 08/12/2018 11:32

Sounds very strange. It's an invasion of privacy (his and yours). I think I'd have words..

KurriKurri · 08/12/2018 11:32

I think that is strange and it would make me uncomfortable too.
I don't think it is necessarily 'harmful' strange, just rather odd.
But as you say - hard to actually say anything.
When you catch her being OTT could you maybe kind of laugh and say 'oh that's a bit unusual. Not sure I want DS being coloured in' or whatever. Maybe she will get the hint.

Mosaic123 · 08/12/2018 11:34

I doubt your employer wants their photocopier used for this. You could say that to her.

SerenDippitty · 08/12/2018 11:34

This is way out of order - she’s intruding on your privacy in a totally unacceptable way. There might be an explanation - has she lost a baby boy for instance - but it is still out of order. I think you should have a word with HR.

WeeDangerousSpike · 08/12/2018 11:36

Oh wow. That's beyond weird. I think you need to involve someone else, this isn't something you can deal with yourself.

And yy to not taking your baby in anymore (although now you aren't on mat leave I guess you wouldn't anyway?)

It does beg the question why your baby? Why not pics of the Pampers babies or similar.

Very very odd.

spreadingchestnuttree · 08/12/2018 11:38

Have you actually asked her not to, or explained it makes you feel uncomfortable? I really think that would be the best way forward. Don't approach HR at this point.

ladybee28 · 08/12/2018 11:39

Wooooah...

That is seven levels of creepy - pictures of him to put on their BEDROOM WALLS?

If it were me I think I'd have to have the conversation with her – well-meaning and sweet or not, and whether or not the conversation might make things awkward, I don't think things can get much more awkward than printing off photos of someone else's son to turn into posters...

"It's lovely that you're so interested in DS, but this is starting to make me feel uncomfortable. I need you to back off a bit, please."

kim81 · 08/12/2018 11:49

yeah that's very odd. i'd be wary!

trulybadlydeeply · 08/12/2018 11:50

This is totally creepy. Speak to your line manager about it asap. She actually sounds quite unwell. Do not show her any more pictures of your baby, or even engage in conversations about him.

Apart from anything else, I don't know any 10 &12 year olds who would want coloured in pictures of any baby on their bedroom walls.

BrokenWing · 08/12/2018 11:54

how often did you take your baby into work? if it was weekly for an hour at a time maybe she just feels close to him, it will fizzle out now you are back at work and not taking the baby in.

knittedjest · 08/12/2018 11:54

I was going to come in and say that no, you're co-worker isn't obsessed with your baby, you are just boring and they have nothing else to talk to you about because that's usually the caee, but nope, you are right. That's totally creepy.

AlaskanOilBaron · 08/12/2018 11:55

I expect she's probably got some issues. Give her a wide berth.

BobLemon · 08/12/2018 11:55

Any chance you’re the target of some bizarre wind-up?

Thesearmsofmine · 08/12/2018 11:59

Very odd!

bridgetreilly · 08/12/2018 11:59

You need to say something. It's not okay for her to take photos of your baby, let alone print them out for her kids to colour in?!!! SUPER weird.

"Co-worker, I know my baby is gorgeous and it's sweet that you care about him, but I'm not comfortable with people outside the family having photos of him, just in case they end up anywhere dodgy. Please could you delete the photos you've got and make sure that no copies are made."

BatF1nk · 08/12/2018 12:02

Ate you absolutely sure about this OP? Sounds almost unbelievable

Topseyt · 08/12/2018 12:02

I would consider that creepy.

Maybe it isn't malicious, but it certainly crossed a lot of boundaries. Tell her. Nobody should be specifically photographing your baby without your consent really. Using those pictures as colouring in for her own children to put on their walls at home is very odd.

Lynne45 · 08/12/2018 12:03

The colouring thing is really strange. It makes me wonder if they’re going through something, like a loss. I’d speak to her and tell her you’re uncomfortable.

BabySharkDooDooDooDoo · 08/12/2018 12:05

Sorry but that would creep me out big time thats just plain weird

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