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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Coworker obsessed with my baby

94 replies

Floopyandtired · 08/12/2018 11:26

DS has just turned one. Ever since he was born one of my colleagues and her children (10 & 12) have shown weird amounts of interest in him. I returned to work last week but during maternity leave whenever I popped into the office with him (I work very close to my home and get on well with my colleagues) she would take loads of pictures of him and get her daughters on the phone so they could “talk” to the baby. Last week she showed me a photo album on her phone of pics of DS that her children regularly look at. A bit weird/

But the final straw for me was yesterday when she was using the printer and I saw she was printing black and white pictures of DS. I asked what she was doing and she said they were for her daughters to colour in and put on their bedroom walls.

The thing is she is a very very sweet woman and I don’t think any of this is malicious or creepy. I think she just can’t see that it makes me uncomfortable. AIBU to feel like that? I don’t know whether to address it or let it wash over me.

OP posts:
bevelino · 08/12/2018 12:05

OP, your colleague is behaving inappropriately and it needs to stop, she should not be creating albums or have introduced her children into your life. It really is hard to understand how it has got to the point where she is printing black and white photos of your baby to be coloured in by her children; and it is so odd that it sounds like there is way more to this story than you have mentioned.

GetOffTheTableMabel · 08/12/2018 12:06

It is peculiar. I can see why you’re unsettled and I find the photo thing genuinely weird.
12 year olds are typically uninterested in colouring in.
10 year olds are often getting too old for it too.
I think colouring over black and white photos is also a bit odd - especially of a work colleague’s baby.
Are you friends with her on social media?

SerenDippitty · 08/12/2018 12:08

You only have her word for it that her daughters are interested in her baby. It could be entirely her. I’m sure her behaviour could come under the definition of harassment - perhaps you should tell her this and if it doesn’t stop go to HR.

DramaAlpaca · 08/12/2018 12:08

What a weird thing to do Confused

Original poster
Floopyandtired · 08/12/2018 12:14

Thanks for the replies! Will try and answer some queries.

I probably took DS in every 4-6 weeks for an hour or so. I’m going to stop taking him in now which is a shame as I’d love my other colleagues to see him as they are all lovely.

I’ve known this woman for 5 years and as far as I know there’s no baby loss or other baby-related trauma.

Her children are very young for their age. There are no SEN involved they’re just very immature. For example she still holds their hands when they cross the road...

It’s not a wind up. I’m very sure.

I would dread speaking to her as I know she will be mortified. I am her manager so it would be down to me to deal with the issue.

OP posts:
Frozenteatowel · 08/12/2018 12:15

Whoa that’s strange. I would speak to HR. I regularly look at albums of photos of children on my phone but they’re my grandchildren. Your co-workers behaviour is very creepy and inappropriate and she needs to be stopped for everybody’s sakes.

Original poster
Floopyandtired · 08/12/2018 12:16

There really isn’t any more to it than what I’ve said (from my side at least). She’s never even held DS. Never been to my house. I’ve met her children once very briefly when I bumped into them in the street. I have in no way encouraged her behaviour.

OP posts:
Frozenteatowel · 08/12/2018 12:17

Oh just seen your post that you are her manager. That is more difficult. I would start by not taking your DS in which as you say is a shame but important I think. That would stop any more photos. Maybe do that and see if she stops mentioning them as much?

NameChangeOhNameChange1 · 08/12/2018 12:19

Are you sure she actually has kids?
Whay was that short drama on the BBC with the architects? Where one woman was becoming obsessed with the others pregnancy?

ManicUnicorn · 08/12/2018 12:20

WTF?! Creepy, weird and totally fucking unacceptable!

Ceecee18 · 08/12/2018 12:21

NameChangeOhNameChange1

That's exactly what I thought of as I read the post. Maybe don't watch the programme, her behaviour is creepy enough.

WinterfellWench · 08/12/2018 12:24

Massively creepy and weird. As has been said, stop taking him into work, and ask your colleague to delete the pictures.

What was the programme on BBC by the way, can someone post a link please? It sounds interesting.

Original poster
Floopyandtired · 08/12/2018 12:24

She definitely has kids. I’m her friend on Facebook and she’s always posting pictures of them on days out, on holiday etc. I think she is very naive and truly oblivious about how her behaviour could be perceived as anything other than nice.

OP posts:
EnglishRose13 · 08/12/2018 12:24

We have a colleague who can act similarly, though not as extreme so as far-fetched as it might sound, people do this kind of shit!

NameChangeOhNameChange1 · 08/12/2018 12:29

@WinterfellWench

It was called "The Replacement"

It was good. Only 3 episodes. Don't read any spoilers!

NotTheFordType · 08/12/2018 12:31

Are you sure she's not banging your H?

BrendasUmbrella · 08/12/2018 12:36

You're her superior. Maybe she's just trying to suck up to you by being the most visibly enthusiastic about your baby?

HashTagLil · 08/12/2018 12:36

Are you sure she's not banging your H?

What?! How on earth did you leap to that conclusion?

cadburyegg · 08/12/2018 12:38

Completely weird. I agree you need to address the issue. Ask to have a chat with her and say you find it inappropriate even though it’s not malicious. I agree to involve HR if it goes any further.

dustarr73 · 08/12/2018 12:44

You dont have any rabbits do you op

Skyejuly · 08/12/2018 12:48

Make every she can no longer see your FB. I had a 'friend' who just thought she was my best friend because we were FB friends

VladmirsPoutine · 08/12/2018 12:49

Maybe they're sizing up your son as a new addition to their family?

WinterfellWench · 08/12/2018 12:58

Thanks namechangeohnamechange I will see if I can get that down to watch!

@notthefordtype how on EARTH did you come to the conclusion that the OP's colleague is shagging her husband??? NOTHING in her posts (or this whole situation) is suggesting that!

skybluee · 08/12/2018 12:58

Ugh. This post has given me the creeps. It's the fact she was producing photocopies of your son. Maybe she doesn't have any friends and your son is like a hobby for her and her daughters, but it shouldn't be like that. Maybe they really wanted a brother... but still. It's unhealthy.

Mia184 · 08/12/2018 12:58

Are both her children girls? Maybe she has always wanted to have a boy and is thus behaving the way she does?