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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be in shock about what a delivery driver just did??

207 replies

ArghhhWhatToDo · 07/12/2018 10:16

Happy to be told IABU but a delivery driver pulled up outside my house, I was in the kitchen washing up so saw him walking down the path, I waited for the knock to go and answer but instead they just OPENED MY FRONT DOOR and placed the parcel in the hallway.

Usually the door is locked but I have a handyman in fixing our shower so have left it unlocked so he can come and go to his van as he needs.

I am not over reacting, this is shocking right???? I had my 4 year old playing in the front room who screamed when she saw the man.

I ran out and confronted them, telling him it was not acceptable to just open a persons front door and they should have knocked and waited, he responded that it is raining...WTAF?

Just sent a rather ranty email to the delivery company he works for and my DH is equally shocked as is the handyman who heard me shouting and rushed down to see if everything was ok.

I would never dream of opening the front door of people I know well, so why would they think it is ok to enter a house of strangers.

Am 4 weeks from my due date and have been slightly irrational so happy to be told I am OTT here.

OP posts:
Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 07/12/2018 11:15

I'd have lost it!

What makes him think he can just walk into someone's home?! I'd have got his number plate and time and complained as you did.

You shouldn't have to have your door locked during the day when you're at home, people should know to respect boundaries.

Huggybear16 · 07/12/2018 11:17

I wouldn't have an issue with this. I also think you should retract your complaint.

Your door was open, he knew you were in, you saw him before he got to the door and you knew who he was, workmen coming and going, etc. He delivered your parcel. I hope they don't take your complaint too seriously - this is his job, which he appears to be doing just fine.

Lweji · 07/12/2018 11:18

Your door was open

It wasn't.

Seafoodeatit · 07/12/2018 11:20

I don't like this either, I think it's the time of year? lots of parcels to deliver so they're on a tight schedule. I don't always close the front door during the day because I have a tiny hallway and the buggy makes it impossible for the door to be opened. A delivery driver knocked yesterday and as I was halfway through moving the buggy decided to open my front door, clearly they felt they couldn't wait 30 seconds, I'd rather be carded then strangers thinking they can just waltz into my house!

QuestionableMouse · 07/12/2018 11:21

You're being a bit precious, especially about your dd. He opened the door andput a parcel inside, an act which probably took ten seconds at best.

If you're both so frightened by that I'd say there are bigger issues at play.

My delivery people do it all of the time. I'm grateful they've left the stuff where the bloody squirrels can't get at it!

Nursejackie1 · 07/12/2018 11:21

Adastardlything. Have you considered a keysafe box so that only carers and thise she wants goung in can enter? Because leaving a door unlocked is a risk that anyone could walk in. If she would be distressed by a postman leaving a delivery i would seriously consider this rather than an unlocked door.

ADastardlyThing · 07/12/2018 11:21

Yep, if you have to turn the handle, the door is closed, then you knock(unless you know it's ok to open it). Quite simples really.

Original poster
ArghhhWhatToDo · 07/12/2018 11:22

@Nursejackie1 I totally get what you are saying and if given permission to make life easier then I think this is a totally acceptable practice.

I visit my 80+ neighbour regularly and due to being a double amputee there are times she has to leave her door open, so I am not naive to the predicament they are in.

OP posts:
fleshmarketclose · 07/12/2018 11:23

My front door is always locked so wouldn't happen here. It wouldn't bother me too much if it did though especially if I'd seen him from the window. The dog might not be happy though so I'd worry that she'd bite as she goes bonkers when they knock at the door.

skybluee · 07/12/2018 11:23

I would rather this than miss the delivery but, and it's a big but, i don't think it's safe at all for the delivery person. if I was in, and I saw someone in my hallway, I'd go for them with a knife quite honestly. Although it would never happen as I would NEVER leave my door unlocked under any circumstances. I used to live in inner city Birmingham and there were constant breakins and problems, most neighbours wouldn't let you in let alone someone they didn't know. If you knocked on the door they'd talk to you through the door. The delivery person runs a massive risk just entering someone's house and not knowing what's on the other side.

OhComeOnRon · 07/12/2018 11:23

@Huggybear16
Still not ok! My MIL leaves her door unlocked and we just walk in when we visit. I have a key to my parents and let myself in. All acceptable because I know they are ok with it.

If you had taken a parcel in for a neighbour and then gone to drop it round later, would you in all seriousness just open their front door and put the parcel in their house? Or would you knock and wait for them to answer the door!

Mind boggles it really does.

Lweji · 07/12/2018 11:24

Apparently the door having a handle, it's just an invitation to enter.

skybluee · 07/12/2018 11:26

i also think a lot of people are a bit naive about how a lot of people live if they think it should be a universal policy for deliverypeople do to this, because it's dangerous.

ADastardlyThing · 07/12/2018 11:26

I have, she doesn't want one after the SS said it is a risk as burglars know what they are and can and do get into them, and that's her decision. She unlocks the door when she knows her carers are due.

Posties/delivery drivers round here seem to know the appropriate boundaries though (or closed door = knock on it). Either that or they have had a baseball bat shoved in their face a few times as a result so have learned not to just go round opening strangers doors to their homes. I reckon it's the first one though.

Velvetbee · 07/12/2018 11:27

Delivery driver did that here too. I was standing in the hall so had a real WTF moment.
He bent over to slide the parcel onto the floor and came face to face with 25kg of very angry dog. I like to think he won’t do it again.

MargoLovebutter · 07/12/2018 11:29

I wouldn't have my four year old playing in a front room, that must be very close to the front door, if this four year old screamed when a man walked through it and not have it securely closed.

Never mind a delivery driver - anybody could walk in and presumably the 4 year old could also easily get out.

The house is clearly huge because the OP said that when she saw the delivery driver walk up the path, she stopped washing up and walked to the door drying her hands but she couldn't get there in time for her daughter not to be alarmed by a strange man entering the house without her being there, or for the delivery driver to see her and give her the parcel and she had to run out of the house to confront the delivery man.

If the house is that big then presumably her DD could easily have left the house too through unlocked door. I find that more alarming than anything.

Atetoomanymincepies · 07/12/2018 11:29

Missing the point entirely but I would have been at the door as soon as I seen him pull up so he didn't have to wait in the rain for you to dry your hands and open the door for him

ShesABelter · 07/12/2018 11:29

It honestly doesn't bother me at all.

Nursejackie1 · 07/12/2018 11:30

Ohcomeonron...the reason locks exist is to stop unwanted people entering your house. I am quite shocked at the amount of people stating that doors are left unlocked for only particular people when to be honest anybody could walk in. I don't see an issue with someone doing their job popping a parcel in and actually know that alot of people leave their doors open for this reason. But in your relatives case it does not make sense to leave the door unlocked for only you. Why don't you have a key to reduce the risk of just anybody walking in?!

Yura · 07/12/2018 11:31

Have most houses around you a porch, with only the inner door locked? a lot of houses do, he might have though he just opened the porch door! For our house, it’s completely impossible to lnow from the outside if its a porch door or the actual door (its the porch door)

GreenHats · 07/12/2018 11:31

YANBU he could have accidentally let a toddler or pet run outside

Biancadelriosback · 07/12/2018 11:32

Our front door is never locked unless we are out or in bed. Never ever had this issue. When we're in DH is usually back and forth to the garage working on something, or DS and I will play in the front garden, or go for a walk, nip to the shop etc. Friends and family come round often so we like our door open. I don't think anyone on this street locks their door either!
But just because a door isn't locked, that doesn't mean you can just walk in. My neighbours door will be unlocked right now, doesn't mean I can just walk in. If I have some of their post?

Yura · 07/12/2018 11:32

unlocked equals porch dor in my
mind

CaliHummers · 07/12/2018 11:36

And is it a good idea for elderly people to leave their doors unlocked, even during the day, so that anyone could go in?

Swings and roundabouts on that one. I live on my own and when I've injured myself and will struggle to get to the door I will leave the door unlocked so my neighbours and/ or emergency services can gain access easily. Last time I did this was when I was concussed and my neighbour was keeping an eye on me. I took the risk of being robbed for the benefit that the people I wanted to have access would have access.

Original poster
ArghhhWhatToDo · 07/12/2018 11:36

Totally get in some places this is the norm and if you are happy with it then it explains some of the comments.

DD and I do not have underlying issues. I think when a stranger walks in to your house it is normal (for most people) to be taken aback by it. Also that fact it was not her DD or our handyman shocked her a little. I mean how many strangers usually enter our homes? I know for us I can not remember the last time someone we did not know was in our house.

She is not sobbing or rocking in a corner somewhere and in need of counselling to get over the torment of it, I think she just had a normal reaction to seeing someone she did not know. She is naturally shy.

Anyway, I will re-clarify a few things for new posters:

  • Door was shut, not ajar
  • I was less than a second from the front door drying my hands, had every intention of going and opening the door
  • Doubt he saw me from the gate in the window as nets are quite thick
  • yes I have a door bell and a knocker
  • was not raining hard and parcel was in waterproof plastic
  • no attempt was made to knock or ring

As I have said if you are fine with this and the driver has permission then I totally get why you think IABU. Lived here for a long time and the neighbours and I have never experienced it.

Shock is subsiding but I still would never like this to happen again. My dog would have bolted had she not been in the back room.

OP posts: