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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be in shock about what a delivery driver just did??

207 replies

ArghhhWhatToDo · 07/12/2018 10:16

Happy to be told IABU but a delivery driver pulled up outside my house, I was in the kitchen washing up so saw him walking down the path, I waited for the knock to go and answer but instead they just OPENED MY FRONT DOOR and placed the parcel in the hallway.

Usually the door is locked but I have a handyman in fixing our shower so have left it unlocked so he can come and go to his van as he needs.

I am not over reacting, this is shocking right???? I had my 4 year old playing in the front room who screamed when she saw the man.

I ran out and confronted them, telling him it was not acceptable to just open a persons front door and they should have knocked and waited, he responded that it is raining...WTAF?

Just sent a rather ranty email to the delivery company he works for and my DH is equally shocked as is the handyman who heard me shouting and rushed down to see if everything was ok.

I would never dream of opening the front door of people I know well, so why would they think it is ok to enter a house of strangers.

Am 4 weeks from my due date and have been slightly irrational so happy to be told I am OTT here.

OP posts:
Nursejackie1 · 07/12/2018 10:34

Also in your OP you stated you were happy to be told you were being unreasonable. Clearly not.

Lovemusic33 · 07/12/2018 10:35

I don’t see it as a issue, my postman has done the same.

A few weeks ago a courier left a parcel in my back garden which annoyed me as the gate is alsways locked from the inside so he must have reached over my 6ft gate to unlock it.

He probably thought he was doing you a favour and also was saving himself time, they are pretty busy this time of year and are expected to do a certain amount of drop offs each day, they can’t go home until all deliveries have been made so they work long hours for rubbish pay.

I did make a complaint the other day as my courier was smoking in his van and my parcel (a toy from amazon) stunk of smoke.

strawberrypenguin · 07/12/2018 10:35

If you saw him coming why did you wait for him to knock? Maybe he assumed you wouldn't mind as you'd obviously seen him.

Belmo · 07/12/2018 10:35

Honestly wouldn’t bother me. Would rather that than get a ‘you weren’t in’ slip if I hadn’t heard the door. Not like he came right in your house, he didn’t harm anyone..

fredleighton · 07/12/2018 10:36

Clearly you are not happy to be told yabu.

I don't think he should have done it but you told him that and it sounded like he was genuinely trying to be helpful. What do you want to achieve by complaining?

ADastardlyThing · 07/12/2018 10:36

Totally unacceptable and not complex at all. You don't open someone's front door unless you're family/friends etc and it's the 'done' thing. Postman, delivery driver etc - absolutely not. You were 100% right to complain.

Avrannakern · 07/12/2018 10:36

I live in a small village so we always have the same postman (unless he's on holiday) and all the delivery companies have the same regular drivers, so I've told all of them that they can try the handle first and if it's open, just pop the parcel in the porch. But I've got a second, lockable door between the porch and the main hallway and I've given them my permission. I'd be angry and shocked if they just went ahead and did it without the discussion first.

Arnoldthecat · 07/12/2018 10:37

I can understand your concern but i am very sure that the delivery person meant no harm and simply wanted to ensure the delivery of your package so that you would be happy.

It is quite possible he rang/knocked but received no reply.

I am in the business of knocking on doors. For reference my top annoyances are;

1)Houses that have no door number clearly displayed on the door or preferably at the gate

  1. Houses that refuse to display a door number but like to call themselves by some pretentious name and so are hard to identify

  2. houses that have doorbells that dont work

4)houses that dont have letterboxes

  1. houses where you stand there knocking and ringing, you know they are in but for reasons best known to themselves, they dont come to the door then ring up later to complain that they were in.

  2. Houses that dont answer the door for whatever reason and then complain that you didnt knock and just left a card.

People are just trying to do their best ...

Lweji · 07/12/2018 10:37

But was the door closed or open when he arrived?

Your handyman may have left the door ajar or not properly closed, and the delivery man may have thought you had left it open for him to place the package.

I can't see how any delivery person would try to open a closed door.

Original poster
ArghhhWhatToDo · 07/12/2018 10:38

I totally agree it is not a great job, especially this time of year. As soon as I saw him coming I stopped washing up and dried my hands to answer the door but by that time he had already opened it.

I think some people are just more relaxed about this than others and that is fine as it is your own homes.

I left instructions for the parcel to be left over my back fence should I not be home.

I will just put this one down to experience and make sure that my door is locked, even if I have workmen in.

OP posts:
Celebelly · 07/12/2018 10:38

Yeah I'd find the front door a bit weird, especially if they didn't even knock first, but our local delivery people generally let themselves into garden and then into garage to leave parcels if I'm not in, and I don't mind that. But we live in a village and we get the same delivery people every time so we know them and they know us.

Anyone opening our front door would get a faceful of excited spaniel, so that might be a deterrent (or, knowing our local delivery people, an added bonus!).

AgentProvocateur · 07/12/2018 10:38

My postman opens the kitchen door and puts parcels on the draining rack right beside the door. Suits me fine.

HopeGarden · 07/12/2018 10:39

YANBU

Regardless of whether he thought he was being helpful by putting it inside, it’s surely basic good manners to knock on the door and give the occupants time to answer it before trying the handle to see if the door’s unlocked?

Original poster
ArghhhWhatToDo · 07/12/2018 10:39

@Lweji this is why I am so shocked, it was closed. I was facing it drying my hands when it happened.

OP posts:
Purplehairdontcare · 07/12/2018 10:41

Well obviously he shouldn't have opened the door, but really, why the hell are you all leaving your front doors unlocked?

Especially the person who was in the shower.

Given that you had the door unlocked and had a workman coming in and out, I'd let it go.

cigarettessuffragettesandboys · 07/12/2018 10:41

No one has the right to enter your home without your permission whether the door is looked or not - YANBU. He should have knocked the door and waited.

cigarettessuffragettesandboys · 07/12/2018 10:42

Oops - meant locked obviously Blush

Original poster
ArghhhWhatToDo · 07/12/2018 10:43

@Arnoldthecat agree with all your points, that is very annoying, but I have a knocker and a working doorbell, neither were used.

I have no issue with parcels being left in the shed, back garden etc...but opening a door in clear view of my DD was just shocking to me.

OP posts:
Xenia · 07/12/2018 10:43

I don't mind at all. My door is just about always shut and can't be opened but if it's been open and someone leaves a package inside that's fine with me. They are just trying to be kind to keep it out of the rain.

My son is a delivery driver and before that was a postman for 3 years. i don't think he has this issue or at least has never mentioned it. I expect they have rules about what they can and cannot do

Lweji · 07/12/2018 10:44

Is it possible that he saw the handyman going in and didn't want to disturb him working, considering that you had mentioned the possibility of being out?

But it is odd and poor behaviour on his part.

This is why I'd never have a front door that can be opened without a key from the outside.

wowfudge · 07/12/2018 10:45

We once had our front door ajar because DP was outside doing something (I forget what it was). I saw the postman walking up the path so went to the door to take the mail from him. As I reached the door, he pushed it further open and threw the stuff at me instead of placing it inside, obviously not expecting anyone to be there. I screamed as I was taken by surprise. He's never done that again!

Original poster
ArghhhWhatToDo · 07/12/2018 10:45

@Purplehairdontcare even my handyman who I have known for 6 years was knocking and saying 'Only me' when coming back from his van.

I probably would not have been so shocked had even an attempt to knock been made before hand but to just enter is not right.

OP posts:
ADastardlyThing · 07/12/2018 10:46

I'll leave my door unlocked if I'm expecting someone I know.

That of course doesn't extend to a delivery driver or postman, who i don't know.

CheekyFucker · 07/12/2018 10:46

Happens all the time in rural areas. When I first moved to Shetland the poor postie nearly ended up on the floor. We negotiated that he leave parcels in the porch rather than coming into the kitchen.

Easy answer. Lock the door.

MargoLovebutter · 07/12/2018 10:46

What?!

Two things puzzle me here:

One that your front door was not just unlocked, it was actually unlatched and therefore open, who knows, possibly ajar. If my door is unlocked, it still doesn't mean that someone can get in, it just means I haven't secured it with the actual lock. Most front doors don't have a handle, you have to actually put the key in to open them, so this means that your door, was actually on the latch - is that right?

Secondly, you saw the delivery man, but instead of making your way to the door to get the parcel, which you knew you would have to do, you waited for him to knock.

He probably saw you too and thought that you'd come to meet him or had perhaps just unlatched the door - as not many people leave their door on the latch and therefore open - particularly when they have a small child inside!

It is possible that the delivery man could lose his job because of your complaint - which I hope isn't the case, as that would be extremely unfair.

There is a reason doors have latches and locks and that is to prevent other people from coming in!!!!!!

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