To think you can't be a "nice guy" if you use prostitutes for sex?

[NotMyOriginalName1]

Or can you?

In short, somebody I've known for a number of years openly admits to visiting sex workers and has deluded himself into believing he's one of the good guys and isn't exploitative. He spouts bullshit about having respect for the women he sees and thinks they adore his charming company.

I've lost what respect I have for him.

Unbeknownst to him I have personal experience of these situations, I was a sex worker in my late teens and what lead me there was an abusive relationship. I never felt respected by one single 'customer' in fact it was the 'good guys' who made my skin crawl the most.

Aibu to say he's an exploitative c-u-next-tuesday or am I jaded as a result my own trauma?

But there is another side to the industry that is females choosing to do it and not being controlled

I do not respect women who choose to be escorts. Simple as that.

saffron probably because people don't know or forget that using the "@" symbol only works properly if you use the person's full username, spelt correctly. If you use a shorter version then it goes to whoever might have that username.

Iced purple I know them because I choose to mix with a range of people and yes they do earn a good wage in law firms etc but they supplement whilst they get to their chosen level.

I'm well-educated and have a lot of well-educated friends but I don't know a single one who 'supplements' by sexing strange men. In fact I don't know anyone who would even consider such an 'option'.

Yet you know several? OK.... and how many of those choosing this stellar career option are men?

I have acknowledged their are people in this industry without consent and I do not advocate that however I think there are people in the industry willingly

So for every lawyer who shags strangers for cash by night, how many desperate drug addict 'escorts' are there would you say? At a guess? I ask because since you "choose to mix with a range of people" you'll surely have come across some of the latter type of women too?

Rudolphie how does that counteract the fact that a significant percentage are not in that position and are being pimped or are desperate?

Iced purple I know them because I choose to mix with a range of people and yes they do earn a good wage in law firms etc but they supplement whilst they get to their chosen level

Really? Guess they missed the compulsory training on money laundering and the proceeds of crime then. And no I don't mean by that that all they need to comply is declare their earnings and pay tax on it.

I'm one of the MLROs for my firm and I'd take a very dim view of anyone earning money on the side in the black economy.

If you think it should be legalised, then why don't you inform yourself on how well that (didn't) work in Germany?

And also research the Nordic Model as implemented in Sweden.

Punters are much more respectful if the woman they pay for sex can just go to the police and report them for buying sex, no need to prove they raped her or anything.

Who would have thought?

I do not excuse that @assassinatedbeauty. I hope that the females in a stronger position stand up for those exploited.

No he's not a good guy. Yuk. I would never knowingly get involved with a man who had been with a prostitute because just him using a prostitute tells me everything about how he views women (and himself). I would be devastated if I found out my dh had ever used prostitutes in his past as I would feel like I didn't know him at all.

I hope that the females in a stronger position stand up for those exploited.

Funny thing, that's already happening. Or what do you think women calling for the Nordic Model to be implemented is?

I have my views and you have yours. I hope we can all just support humans going forward

I hope that the females in a stronger position stand up for those exploited.

And as always, it's the job of 'females' - by which I guess you mean all those high-powered barristers who shag sad men for cash - to be responsible for abuses committed by men. How about the men just stop abusing them?

BTW has there ever been a poster who refers to women as 'females' who isn't a complete misgynist?

I also think that announcing you're a good guy usually means you're anything but. Genuine good people, fun people, kind people etc don't need to tell others that's what they are because it's obvious. It sounds like he's trying to convince himself he's something he's not to justify taking advantage of vulnerable women.

How about the men just stop abusing them?

That would certainly be easier, considering Rudolphie doesn't seem to approve of the ways women are trying to solve the problem.

S/he "hopes that females in stronger position stand up for those exploited" but doesn't like the ways in which women are currently standing up.

S/he "hopes that females in stronger position stand up for those exploited" but doesn't like the ways in which women are currently standing up.

Well, I guess the next time he (is there any real doubt it's a 'he'?) goes for a drink with one of his many escort/nuclear physicist/barrister 'female' friends, he can take it up with them?

There are many men and women who have been without physical intimacy for years, even decades. Paying for this intimacy doesn't sit well with me, but I wouldn't always judge them too harshly.

Nice is a really pointless word, it doesn't really mean anything.

Give me a man who's gentle, kind, compassionate and honest.

BTW has there ever been a poster who refers to women as 'females' who isn't a complete misgynist?

Wonder why they do that? Still, not as cringey as "Ladies". There's no way to use that word without sounding patronising.

How did you make the acquaintance of these rocket scientists moonlighting as 'escorts' bttw?

It is this sort of patronising, rude statement which prevents this issue from being discussed sensibly.

Fair enough, you have a different opinion, but that does not mean the person arguing against you is wrong.

If you think it should be legalised, then why don't you inform yourself on how well that (didn't) work in Germany?

I support decriminalisation rather than legalisation, as it has worked well in New Zealand.

The Nordic model, whilst good on the surface, simply makes prostitution less visible, and drives it further into the hands of criminals. Taking rights away from clients does not give rights to sex workers, and that is where decriminalisation wins for me.

I am sorry what word would you prefer i use?

The presumption that I am a male actually shows your nature.

The Nordic model, whilst good on the surface, simply makes prostitution less visible, and drives it further into the hands of criminals.

Any proof for that?

Decriminalisation, if you mean the same thing others mean by it, is preferable to legalisation, but when I look at how much prostitution is in the hands of assholes in Germany, I don't think it can be much worse in Sweden.

And regardless of the legalities, you have to help women get out of prostitution by helping them to, for example, get jobs.

Which doesn't work if the narrative is that prostitution IS a job.

Female but I don’t think it matters in arguments about equality

(I write assholes instead of criminals because if it is not illegal to be a brothel owner, then they obviously aren't criminals.)

You can be very nasty or nasty, and even if you are less nasty than another man, such as the man the OP knows, you are still nasty. The OP is not BU.