Boyfriend comes and goes at weird times

[spoon19996]

I don't know what to think anymore. We have two kids and the other night out of no where he learnt home at 2 in the morning saying "he wanted time alone". He has his own house. He goes home at such strange times. Right now our 2 year old is really bad at night and she's up most of the night which then wakens are 5 month old baby. Is it laziness or something else. He often can't be bothered and leaves me to do the kids alone.

What do you guys think?

I think he's not much of a partner or father. Why are you putting up with this?

That’s just weird. Why do you let him? If he wants to be a single man and you’re happy to let him behave like one then crack on but he’s not, he’s a father of 2 children so imo he doesn’t get to just bugger off whenever he feels like it and leave you to it

So this isn't normal? He keeps acting like I'm so weird when I ask about it and says im obsessed and that I'm the weird one
Tbh I've never had help with the girls I don't know any different to doing it all alone

You had not just one but two children with this man?

It's enormously weird. In fact, the word 'weird' doesn't even begin to encompass how weird this is.

Do you not know other people, with partners and/or children? What is your perception of a normal family set-up?

He's their father? Really?
I have no words

I have no words and that's saying a lot for me such as the occasion is.
Is this for real?

This can't be real 🤔

This isn't normal OP. You have two kids together how is this only now an issue?

Ffs...not again

This is not normal for people who have two very young children. He has the benefits of a relationship without responsibility. Could you get up and leave him with the children for a while, to have time to yourself? I doubt you would do it, actually, but it wouldn't be a bad idea, if only for a couple of hours.

You are not at all weird. If you had no children it would be different because you could exercise equal freedom but you cannot right now, nor for many years. He is the one who is weird.

Talk to him calmly, explain how he isn't much use as a partner and a father and what should you both do about it because it can't go on as it is. It's so unfair!

What is his family like?

Two houses? Two mortgages, just so he has a bolt hole .... weird! Rent the other house and make some money ... then he'll have nowhere to hide when it comes to being a dad and husband

Two houses? Two mortgages, just so he has a bolt hole .... weird! Rent the other house and make some money ... then he'll have nowhere to hide when it comes to being a dad and husband

Two houses? Two mortgages, just so he has a bolt hole .... weird! Rent the other house and make some money ... then he'll have nowhere to hide when it comes to being a dad and husband

Two houses? Two mortgages, just so he has a bolt hole .... weird! Rent the other house and make some money ... then he'll have nowhere to hide when it comes to being a dad and husband

Two houses? Two mortgages, just so he has a bolt hole .... weird! Rent the other house and make some money ... then he'll have nowhere to hide when it comes to being a dad and husband

Who owns your home?

I think he's lazy and not fully committed to being a parent or a partner. What are the advantages for you in being with him?

As long as he pops round to impregnate you periodically.
Is this a benefits thing? So you can both claim to be single?
That’s the only other reason I’ve heard for refusing to move in with your partner and children.

So he's the father of your 2 children but you don't live together? Rent the other house out or sell it. He doesn't need a bolt hole and I presume that with 2 kids money is tight unless you're loaded. He sounds like he doesn't actually care about you or the kids. Why are you letting him act like a teenager staying over at his girlfriend's house when you are in this level of committed relationship. It's so out of the ordinary it's utterly bizarre.all the couple's I know live together when they have DCs. They can't afford 2 houses. If they had them before then one is rented out

He doesn’t even sound like a boyfriend. More like a man child. You could do so much better than this. No, his behaviour is not normal.

I assume he’s working and you’re not or mat leave. Does he give you any help when he’s not working.

Erm... what??

So this isn't normal?

Is this a benefits thing? So you can both claim to be single?

On another thread OP says she's a single parent, so I'd guess he's at his 'other house' a hell of a lot ...

So his contribution is sperm? anything else?

Well the two houses this, whilst completely bizarre, at least makes telling him to stay there and not come back easy.
I don't understand what he brings to your life if you already consider yourself a single parent

Is there another woman in the other house?