Boyfriend comes and goes at weird times

[spoon19996]

I don't know what to think anymore. We have two kids and the other night out of no where he learnt home at 2 in the morning saying "he wanted time alone". He has his own house. He goes home at such strange times. Right now our 2 year old is really bad at night and she's up most of the night which then wakens are 5 month old baby. Is it laziness or something else. He often can't be bothered and leaves me to do the kids alone.

What do you guys think?

Surely you are aware that most couples live together with their children and can’t afford to run a spare house just in case one of them is too crap to help with the children!?

I’m struggling to believe this is real. Unless you both have so much money, that having two houses really isn’t a problem .

Is he married?

@GlasgowWorrier Is there another woman in the other house?

This was my exact first thought... Sounds like he is leading a double life to me!

I'm presuming you both have council houses or private rent covered by housing benefit?

It doesn't sound like he is ever going to commit to you and your children, I'd get rid now before you waster another 5-10yrs waiting for him to 'change his ways' (It's not going to happen).

Wtf? This isn’t normal! Has he got a wife at his other place. He’s not committing to you so end it, he’s a crap sad it seems so no major loss there.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3439322-feeling-down

Background here

He's an absolute waste of organs. Kick him out and concentrate on your girls. You will be so much happier not wasting any of your time or energy on the loser.

Sorry op that doesn’t sound good . It’s like he wants the best of both worlds. I’m sure we would all love an extra house that we could go to get uninterrupted sleep but not how real world works .

Do you have to ask???
It’s a million miles from normal.

You have way bigger issues than the fact he disappears at 2am.

You have had two kids, aren’t married and he’s absorbed your inheritance into the property.
You need to wake up!!!!

You have 2 children with a man and he still lives at his own house? Doesn’t help with the kids and you wonder if it’s normal?

You are basically a single parent so why not ditch him and go it alone? You deserve better as do your children. Get out whilst you can and do not marry this man, he’s using you and doesn’t care about you or the kids.

Are you kidding? Of course it’s not normal! Do you really really need to ask? Seriously! You know what most people have kids and live in the same house right? You must know that. You surely don’t think that most partners with families have separate houses?!? If you really think that you need help. There’s something really wrong with your life if you think any of that is in any way normal and for you to even be on here asking is very very strange!

GlasgowWorrier
Is there another woman in the other house?

I feel mean, but I laughed...

This is so peculiar and my IMMEDIATE thought when just reading the TItle was- he’s living another life and is married and you are the other woman. You just don’t haven’t realised it. His wife in the other house is perhaps having similar thoughts. Though perhaps I’ve seen to many shit films

Dealing?

Why would you put up with this shit?

Definately not normal and can we suggest you stop having children with a man who only thinks of himself.

If this is true side-eyes MNHQ then demand a key so you can take turns catching up on your sleep at his place. Because it is beyond weird that he thinks it's okay to take off like that with two small children to see to.

Oh dear, just read the other thread. Just get rid. He doesn’t care. Better on your own.

I thought dodgy dealing too. What does he do for a living op? How can he afford another house when he is only 21?

OP, he's completely pointless. A selfish waste of space who brings nothing positive to you.

Google the Freedom Programme. Kick him out, get child maintenance, rebuild your life.

It seems to me that this is yet another man-takes-piss-out-of-woman thread. I've not been on mumsnet that long but it's so bloody predictable and depressing. Are there EVER any posts where the reverse is the case? Could anyone here provide link to such a thread?

For just the tiniest bit of balance?

Not holding breath.

So this isn't normal?

The father of your small children living in another house? No love. Not normal.

You got the babies you wanted. He's the sperm donor.

Hang on, just read your OP on the other thread.

FML! Have some self-respect and get rid.

Good luck.

Definately get rid...you are so young and you have your whole life agead of you. Hes a complete twat.

Where did you learn to be such a doormat? Have a think about what you would say to your daughter or a friend in this situation. Get some self respect and dump him.