As an autistic adult who was bullied horrendously throughout high school (physically and verbally/ emotionally), I would say go for the SS place. I had so many friends in primary, many of whom just disappeared when the bullies appeared. I don’t blame them, they were just kids too! School was a very lonely place and the psychological stress had a huge impact on my physical health.
My ds is autistic and very vulnerable to bullying, he was not suited for our local SS which is mainly for lower functioning children and he is incredibly intelligent and loves to learn. Mainstream school does not work for him, we have home educated for the last four years and he is flourishing. We are currently looking into the possibility of funding for our son to be online schooled for his secondary years. He would be at home and his teacher/s would be online and teach a group of students from all over the world, he can communicate with his teacher and other classmates. He can also sit exams arranged at a local private school.
However, if we don’t get funding for that we will continue as we are. Our ds physically shuts down when around other children in a small rural school. As in collapsing and being unresponsive, eyes open but vacant for up to half an hour at a time. He then needs to sleep off the massive headache that follows for several hours! He would be eaten alive in our local Secondary schools!
I take the view that education is a lifelong undertaking, our early years (especially our teens) are so important, so formative that they can have long lasting implications on a child’s mental health, including future relationships. Mental health is so, so crucial! Your dd’s teachers are telling you that she will mentally not cope in mainstream high school. If you know there is any truth to this, then please consider the SS or an alternative. As your dd approaches her teens, her social weaknesses will become more apparent (I actually think it sounds like she may also be on the autistic spectrum this link may be helpful if she is), the bullies will spot her a mile away just as they did with me.
Your dd can go to college and university all in her own time. But if she is relentlessly bullied, it could have a lifelong effect on her mental health, triggering extremely low self esteem, ever increased anxiety, depression and self harming and the domino effect could go on and on.
Take your dd to view the new school. It will be something she will initially rebel against, as change is so, so hard! But with the right support the transition can be so much easier. In secondary, your dd will likely be placed in the lowest sets, which unfortunately means she will be with the children most likely to bully her (things only eased for me when the bullies were placed in lower sets and I went into the higher sets, which made class time more tolerable but break and lunch were still hell) her lovely friends, will be on self protection mode. It’s cruel but unfortunately it’s what happens in schools every day.