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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having to pick 11 yr old up from school

261 replies

Knitwit101 · 05/12/2018 11:44

Our school has a new head. Been there maybe a month. He has announced that in the winter all kids must be collected from school. I have an 11 yr old in p7 (Scotland) who has been walking home alone since p3. We are really near the school and he has only one road to cross, it has a crossing. This is a ridiculous rule, right? Surely an 11 yr old can walk maybe 4 minutes home alone if his parent says he can? It's not even nearly dark at 3.15pm.

To add to my irritation my 6 yr old finishes 20 minutes earlier. There is nowhere sheltered outside to wait and we are not allowed to wait in the school. There's no point walking home, sitting at home for 10 minutes then going back out again. So I am expected to stand outside (in weather and light that is unsuitable for 11 yr olds to be alone in) with my 6 yr old for 20 minutes to collect an 11 yr old who is perfectly capable of walking home alone.

I have complained, as have several other parents. The school have said that they are not making judgements about the capabilities and journeys of individual pupils, it's the same rule for everyone and that's that.
One parent refused to come and collect her dd. She was made to wait in school and her parent was called to collect her.

Yesterday I offered to 'collect' a bunch of kids and walk them to the school gate then let them go. So i basically collected every p7 kid then let them walk home like they usually do. I half thought the school would have phoned me this morning and complained about deliberate flouting of their policy but they haven't. Another parent is going to collect them all today and walk them round the corner out of sight.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous policy?

OP posts:
Boohissmiss · 05/12/2018 18:09

Yes Nicky that’s exaclty what I said like crowd control

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/12/2018 18:16

The creeping ridiculous infantilising of children and ignoring of parents common sense and knowledge of THEIR children is getting bloody ridiculous!

Only on MN will people agree with homework and shirts and ties at 4 because it prepares then for the world of work 20 years layer then expect them to go from being picked up every day to walking to secondary school by themselves having never ever done it befire.

The cut if here (england) is 31st of August so the youngest of yr 7 would be possibly just a day or 2 older than the oldest kids in yr 6.

And no one can be in 2 places at onve there's no choice but to have an 11 ur old home alome til someone's back with the sibling

Nicknacky · 05/12/2018 18:34

booh Not sure what the police “escort” has to do with this scenario?

Nicknacky · 05/12/2018 18:35

Christ, as soon as we were allowed to stop picking up at the door I was waiting a couple of streets away in my car. (Primary 4 I think)! No way would I go back to picking up at the door at 12 years old.

Boohissmiss · 05/12/2018 18:40

Nicky it was talking to another poster who said something about things being different in the 70s and I used it as an example as something that changed to make things safer . When I went to the same school we used to just walk down to the church now they have police controlling traffic so it’s safer for the kids. It was just an example of something that changed to make it safer for the kids like parents picking up the kids at school at hometime .

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/12/2018 18:45

It was just an example of something that changed to make it safer for the kids like parents picking up the kids at school at hometime
Tbh the biggest threat to children is idiot parebts who park like selfish idiots. It would he much safer all round of people stopped worrying their kids would dissolve if they walked more than 3 metres and walked. Or let their kids walk.

Nicknacky · 05/12/2018 18:45

booh That’s really not a new thing. We had it when I was at school.

Boohissmiss · 05/12/2018 18:48

Giles all well and good if the school is close enough to walk too.

MacarenaFerreiro · 05/12/2018 18:48

Totally agree that you need to approach the Parent Council about this. In out school their names and contact details are available on the website, or the Office will pass on a message.

(For non-Scots - parent council is a group of parents which works with the Head on the general ethos and direction of the school. Usually in my experience totally separate from the PTA which is purely about fundraising).

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/12/2018 18:53

Makes no difference how far away the school is though if the parents are having to come from.work to pick up the kids. Making it more dangerous...Confused

WWlOOlWW · 05/12/2018 18:54

Stupid policy.

I wouldn't collect. When they called I'd tell them I was out and wouldnt be back for an hour but that you give permission for him to walk home and has a key to get home with.

They can choose to be the unpaid child care OR call Children's service. Who would laugh at them.

Original poster
Knitwit101 · 05/12/2018 18:54

I have hit Send on the email I drafted earlier basically saying I will not be picking ds up from school. I have assessed the risk of his journey home and I am satisfied that he is capable of walking home unsupervised regardless of the weather and I do not feel it is dark enough for that to be a concern. If the school have any further information that I should be aware of when making my decision please could they let me know.

Ds is happy to stay in school if it comes to that. I know of 4 other families who have sent in similar messages this afternoon so he will have company and is planning to pack an extra snack for sustenance.

If there is any difficulty I will consider a more formal 'complaint' but we'll see what happens tomorrow.

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 05/12/2018 18:56

Good for you op. Your ds will probably be home befire the extra parents escape from parking jam...

Nicknacky · 05/12/2018 18:56

Let us know what the schools reply is!

BumDisease · 05/12/2018 18:57

"It's not dark at 3.15."

It's getting there in my part of Scotland.

"Even the 16 year olds?"

There are no 16 year olds in primary school!

Melliejellie · 05/12/2018 18:59

Following just for updates on tomorrow's sit in. I'd be doing exactly the same in your shoes. The head is being ridiculous

BumsexAtTheBingo · 05/12/2018 19:00

To the op it is a minor inconvenience. No matter how much talk there is of wind and rain as if there’s going to be a storm every day 😂 I had to wait 15 mins between infants and juniors finishing every day for 2 years when my kids were younger. As did everyone else with a child in each school. Everyone seemed to manage.
If it is more inconvenient to working parents or others who can’t get there I would let them complain rather than getting a reputation for moaning about something that barely affects me but hey ho you need to make a fuss over everything according to some on here.

Nicknacky · 05/12/2018 19:02

But it’s unnecessary and it doesn’t matter that she isn’t at work at school pick up time. And I don’t complain about minor things but there is no way I would be standing in the pissing rain for no reason.

Original poster
Knitwit101 · 05/12/2018 19:09

Ok Bumsex it's a minor inconvenience. But it's a totally unnecessary minor inconvenience and I'm not doing it.

OP posts:
Boohissmiss · 05/12/2018 19:13

Exaclty bumsex as I said we all manage perfectly fine here picking up the kids off the school bus everyday . I’m sure it’s a massive inconvenience to some but we all manage .

Nicknacky · 05/12/2018 19:15

Good for you booh

SneakyGremlinsBrokeTheSleigh · 05/12/2018 19:37

Just tuning in for tomorrow...

BumsexAtTheBingo · 05/12/2018 19:59

Well at our school the child would be put in the after school club and you’d be billed for it if you didn’t collect them. After that or if yours doesn’t have an asc I imagine they’d go through the emergency contacts and yes if you still refused to collect your child and none of the contacts would they’d have to waste the time of children’s services who are already struggling to manage caseloads of children who might be at genuine risk. Same as if a parent at our school refused to collect a year 4 child who lived around the corner.
So long as you don’t get chilly though eh?

Nicknacky · 05/12/2018 20:02

Children’s services aren’t going to be the slightest bit interested in an 11/12 year old not being collected due to a stupid policy.

And no. I have no intention of spending 14 years at the school gates (I’ve also got a five year old)

ReflectentMonatomism · 05/12/2018 20:04

Well, soneone would be wasting the time of children’s services. It wouldn’t be the parent who said their 11 year old child should walk home.

I presume said children’s services would think the head a wanker, though.