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Original poster

t-bar shoes when lashing down

158 replies

vandrew4 · 05/12/2018 09:14

Why are girls put in T-bar shoes in the pouring down rain?
Looking around today, every single girl bar one going into school was wearing T-bars.
every single boy was of course wearing proper shoes without great big holes on the top of them,
every single mother was wearing boots or full shoes.
Why do they think it's OK for girls to get wet / cold feet?

OP posts:
BluthsFrozenBananas · 05/12/2018 11:37

I’m surprised at the anti brogue sentiment from some children, virtually all the girls in DDs y6 class wear them. I think most of them see brogues as more mature than Velcro shoes, they’re a badge of honour that you’ve mastered shoe laces and they’re what most of the girls at the local secondary schools wear.

Yes, I know I could have looked at boys shoes for DD when she was younger, but she wouldn’t have been happy to wear them. Nothing to do with my parenting, I wasn’t pushing a pink and sparkly agenda, she just wanted the same kind of shoes her friends had. At nearly 11 now she doesn’t care much about following the crowd, but at 5/6/7 it was very important to her.

Cutesbabasmummy · 05/12/2018 11:55

SoyDora get your store to measure your DD, then order on line with free delivery to store and then try on in store. It's a very quick system.

SoyDora · 05/12/2018 12:00

Cutesbabasmummy yes we did do that in the end actually, that was how we found the t bars that fit. Honestly of every single shoe we tried in every shop, the only ones that fit her in a way that I and the fitter were happy with were t bars. I (and she) wanted some practical patent brogues but no joy.
Hopefully her feet will be less awkwardly sized next year, or she’ll be able to tie laces giving us more choice.
FWIW my mum had the same issue with me when I was a child! DD2 has luckily inherited DH’s ‘normal’ feet.

Scotinoz · 05/12/2018 12:01

Clarks shoes are horrendous, but lots of great, well fitting t-bars out there.

But mine wears wellies for the school run (5mins), then changes. As I did 40years ago...although we had to wear plimsoles inside on wet days 🙄

SleightOfMind · 05/12/2018 12:20

DD (9) wears black calf length boots for school in winter. They’re sturdy DM type boots and she loves them!

AlexanderHamilton · 05/12/2018 12:23

Because all through primary only one style of shoe fitted Dd & gave her the correct foot support. It was Start Rite Samba. The Brogues available were not deep enough and her instep bulged.

Finally in Year 9 she was able to start wearing a geox brogue.

AlexanderHamilton · 05/12/2018 12:31

And she could never wear boots at all. She simply could not pull them over her foot due to her instep.

At age 11 she was a 1G & a nightmare to find shoes for.

Chickychoccyegg · 05/12/2018 12:32

I can honestly say that I've never given any thought to other children's shoes, surely you buy the shoes you and your child choose and let others do the same?
my daughter has black patent t bars, she also has wellies and boots, sometimes she will choose to wear something unsuitable in wet weather, even after I've told her not to, if she gets wet feet, next time she'll make a better choice, she would not contemplate for 1 second wearing boys shoes and thats not because of me, i wear mens shoes and am not particularly "girlie"

drspouse · 05/12/2018 12:39

surely you buy the shoes you and your child choose and let others do the same?
Only if the shoes exist that you want.

AlexanderHamilton · 05/12/2018 12:42

Getting plain white trainers for dd for school was a nightmare. We tried every shop in 3 cities and failed. None fitted.

halfwitpicker · 05/12/2018 12:59

What's all this shite about them liking them?

They need dry feet Confused

Original poster
vandrew4 · 05/12/2018 13:08

I really don't believe that 99% of the girls at my kids' school have feet that are so hard to fit that they have to wear inappropriate footwear

OP posts:
drspouse · 05/12/2018 13:22

What's all this shite about them liking them?
Yeah equally I don't get "my DD won't wear trousers".
My DD has trousers, it's winter, she wears them.

AlexanderHamilton · 05/12/2018 13:35

Lucky you. My two would rather have frozen (or more rather strip off) than wear clothes that didn't feel right to them.

drspouse · 05/12/2018 14:12

We are happy to work something out if it's comfort - we get 100% cotton after DS tried on a new size of non-cotton trousers and they were itchy. And we start off with tops in particular quite baggy as he also tends to feel quite restricted. Prewash things, remove labels where necessary, etc.

Looks and non-comfort preferences are not pandered to - DD has trousers and she wears them - I'm really not sure why that's hard TBH.

I suppose it might help that she's always had (because I, as the parent, the person with the money, bought them for her) way more trousers than dresses (I think she owns one skirt??). So there's never been a point when she's been in a position to insist on wearing a dress, before she started school, she's used to wearing trousers, it's what we all wear.

I have two very strong willed children but I still don't understand the "she won't wear trousers" mentality that some other parents seem to pander to. I have never, oddly enough, heard it from a parent of a boy!

AlexanderHamilton · 05/12/2018 14:20

I actually really struggled to get Ds to wear trousers. He much prefers shorts whatever the weather.

MrsKoala · 05/12/2018 14:40

Probably a stupid question - but is there any reason girls can't wear from the boys selection? I ask because I have 2 boys and a younger girl. I was getting the boys school shoes in September (I always buy the goretex waterproof boot type ones from clarks as that seems to keep their feet warm and dry and be good for climbing and mud) and I glanced at the girls selection thinking about when DD starts preschool next year and I was surprised there was no girls counterpart to the boys goretex boots. So I thought I might just buy her the boys ones next year.

Dakiara · 05/12/2018 14:49

I bought mine the "boy" shoes for the last few years. This year my daughter wanted prettier, more delicate looking shoes. I pointed out she couldn't run, climb and keep her feet dry in them and she changed her mind. As it happened Clarks had some good ones with Velcro buckles so she picked those. I was kinda proud of her and they've kept her feet dry.

So far she's not wrecked them - she's very tough on shoes. 😁

AlexanderHamilton · 05/12/2018 15:06

Mrs Koala - some girls who are petite/have narrow feet can’t get boys shoes small enough.

I have a tiny boy & when Dd started school the smallest pair of black school shoes I could find were a size 6.

When Ds started the smallest boys pair were size 8 the shoes were also wider on the whole.

drspouse · 05/12/2018 15:14

Alexander but some boys are petite and have small feet too. What do they do?
My DS hates wearing jumpers (trousers are OK) so we buy them big. And yes, I know some other boys hate trousers but I've never heard anyone say their boy will only wear a skirt; if you want your child to wear trousers they do actually need to be used to wearing trousers quite a bit of the time, and a lot of preschool girls just aren't.

is there any reason girls can't wear from the boys selection?

It's more down to a) families who won't buy things for their girls that say "boys" on them b) girls who have learned that boys wear this type of shoes and girls this other type c) girls who can read d) knobbish shop assistants who tell children that their parents are buying from the wrong section and e) knobbish schools, teachers, and other children who think it's appropriate to tell a girl "eww you're wearing boys' shoes" (the children) and not to knock that on the head sharpish (schools and parents).

SoyDora · 05/12/2018 15:26

Alexander but some boys are petite and have small feet too. What do they do?

Who knows? In my experience the boys shoes were significantly wider than the boys ones. If anyone knows somewhere that sells very narrow boys shoes, please let me know!

BarbarianMum · 05/12/2018 15:54

We had to use independent fitters to find good for brands to fit ds1's (then) tiny, narrow feet. Italian brands worked well, also Ricosta, Startrite. Plimsoles were the worst - he used to have to have startrite ones at £12 a pair.

HugeAckmansWife · 05/12/2018 16:01

Will the school not allow ankle boots? DD (7) has Mary Jane style shoes from about March to October then plain back ankle boots through the winter. Tesco at £17. I do appreciate some people have awkward shaped feet or issues but to address the original OP that was the solution for us.

MrsKoala · 05/12/2018 16:03

Ah yes I hadn't thought about the width. Altho I doubt that will be a problem with DD as she is a tank and her feet are a G. I don't give the boys a choice and I just buy them what I think is most practical, which I was planning to do with DD. I was also planning on putting her in the boys school trousers and shirts. But I guess she might have other ideas.

OrdinarySnowflake · 05/12/2018 16:13

Well done OP - you've noticed that other people are terrible parents.

Please post links to the black leather shoes (not boots - most state primaries around here ban boots), with good grip, that do up with velcro (no tricky laces or buckles) that are sold for girls and cost under £60 please - preferably sold in actual shops, not just online so you can get them properly fitted.

I'm sure you are right, and there's loads and it's just all those little girls in your DC school have parents who make terrible choices from lots of other options...

(And most girls don't want to be wearing 'boys' shoes, once they can read that they are boys shoes, it can be hard work to get them to wear them)