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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

t-bar shoes when lashing down

158 replies

vandrew4 · 05/12/2018 09:14

Why are girls put in T-bar shoes in the pouring down rain?
Looking around today, every single girl bar one going into school was wearing T-bars.
every single boy was of course wearing proper shoes without great big holes on the top of them,
every single mother was wearing boots or full shoes.
Why do they think it's OK for girls to get wet / cold feet?

OP posts:
OP posts:
BrightStarrySky · 05/12/2018 09:29

Thanks OP. The patent ones look great

SoyDora · 05/12/2018 09:29

The shoes you linked to start at a 13 (one pair starts at a 10). DD is an 8D. I looked in all the shops I have within a reasonable distance close to me, trust me.

BrightStarrySky · 05/12/2018 09:30

Ah yes- my DD is tiny too (turning 4 next month). Those would be too big.

Original poster
vandrew4 · 05/12/2018 09:31

there will be many more. that was just a quick random look at debenhams

OP posts:
babysharkah · 05/12/2018 09:33

DTS in Y3 have patent brogues from start rite that fit their very narrow feet. Have seen similar in M&S.

GooodMythicalMorning · 05/12/2018 09:33

Dd wears smart ankle boots for this reason
No heels though just flat.

redsummershoes · 05/12/2018 09:33

yanbu
especially as girls tend to wear tights with them which they can't change as easily when the feet get wet.

dc's school specifies 'closed style shoes'
can you imagine the Confused Hmm looks by the shop assistants and the wails of some parents?

dc likes it.

Liz38 · 05/12/2018 09:34

We have a 12 minute walk each way for school and can definitely get drenched doing it on a wet day. I buy black Clarks boots for DD to wear roughly October half term to Easter so that she can go out on the rain, play in the mud, whatever, and not get soaking wet feet. But I appreciate I'm fortunate that I can afford to buy her two pairs of school shoes a year even if her feet don't grow, and three pairs in bad years when they grow at inconvenient times. She doesn't have a lot of other pairs of shoes! This is a good compromise for me, she hates the more robust style girls shoes and while I could buy them and tell her to get on with it I'd rather not, so I give her a practical alternative that she does like.

SoyDora · 05/12/2018 09:34

As I said, I looked in every shop within a reasonable distance of me, and couldn’t find anything suitable that would fit her.
We’re perfectly happy with our solution of wellies for walking to school/playtimes anyway.

Fruitteatime · 05/12/2018 09:35

Because dd insisted that t bars were girls shoes mainly because this is what Topsy wears in the book about Topsy and Tim starting school. She tried on a covered pair and took them off straight away. This is despite her having a pair of dinosaur trainers from the "boys" section in clarkes at home, a lidl "boys" waterproof and a wide range of t shirts and trousers from both sections of clothes shops.

Yes I could have made the decision for her, but I wanted her to be excited to put her school shoes on so that it'd be less of a battle whilst heavily pregnant and with a newborn. I did explain she would get wet feet but so far she hasn't minded and if it bothered her I would get her a covered pair when she goes up a size.

arethereanyleftatall · 05/12/2018 09:35

Are boys clod-hoppers more suitable than t-bars for cartwheels, for playing fairies, for summer, for dancing? I don't think they are.
Why do some people think that all girls (or even all boys) must want to run around playing in mud and puddles and playing football, and this require heavy, solid closed toe shoes? Some don't.
Let the parent choose the shoe that is suitable for their child, there's plenty out there of all types.

Thistly · 05/12/2018 09:36

girls and their mothers who are judged for buying whatever shoes they like, and are available in their nearest shop?

I didn’t read judgement of women and girls in this thread, but I agree about the availability of shoes.... I understood that most people feel subject to the choices made by the shoe shops of ‘what will sell’.

It annoys me when people argue that the shops only stock things because people want and will buy them. Not true. There are loads of things I would buy if I could get them. And I end up buying stuff that doesn’t quite work because it’s all I can get which is approximately what I need. Many people on this thread are complaining about having had a lack of choice when buying their daughter’s shoes.

Actually I had a recent experience in Clark’s with an older child where I was told that all their shoes were unisex. This did encourage my dd to chose a pair of full leather shoes with substantial soles. Despite her acknowledging it was BS.

redsummershoes · 05/12/2018 09:36

we just buy from the 'boy's section

OlderThanAverageforMN · 05/12/2018 09:38

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Original poster
vandrew4 · 05/12/2018 09:38

arethereany I'm not saying they need "clodhoppers" ( whatever they are; I have boys and their shoes aren't heavy)
I'm saying why not wear closed shoes when it's raining? why should girls be subject to wet, cold feet.

OP posts:
SoyDora · 05/12/2018 09:40

And have you not read anyone’s reasons above?
I could not find closed shoes that fit my very small, very narrow footed DD. I tried. She has t-bars, and wears wellies if it’s raining.

drspouse · 05/12/2018 09:40

Because that is overwhelmingly what shops like Clarks sell for girls. Because obviously it's more important that girls look pretty, than be warm, dry, and able to run around. It makes me furious.

We got Kickers patent black for DD (ebay) and my friend found that FINALLY Clarks have a velcro, patent, closed shoe that's specifically marketed for girls.

But yeah, this.

Perren · 05/12/2018 09:42

Stupid isn't it. DD goes in patent boots as it rains every day as soon as September starts

randomsabreuse · 05/12/2018 09:44

I have enough trouble getting "any" shoes that fit narrow heeled DD (7.5E/F at the moment) that I just buy what they have.

More closed shoes that are pull ons are causing major problems and I don't find shoes that open fully with Velcro much drier than the t-bars.

I just want there to be some shoes with decent grips available in her size, like adult walking trainers (or boots) - the only ones I have found (decathlon) are too wide. Actual trainers might be nice too...

Lindtnotlint · 05/12/2018 09:44

Olderthanaverage I was teased at school for having wrong/unfashionable shoes. It was awful. I really, really hope you are not encouraging/enabling your DDs to judge other kids’ shoe choices.... If you are, can I give you a friendly kick to stop Smile

Racecardriver · 05/12/2018 09:46

When I was at school we were only allowed lace up oxfords. It felt like my feet were being steamed through the summer (Australia so there was about a month or so of 30 degrees plus weather each school year).

BluthsFrozenBananas · 05/12/2018 09:47

For the last couple of years my DD has had brogues, but prior to y5 she hadn’t mastered shoe laces and needed Velcro closure shoes. She has narrow feet and Mary Janes were the only style available. She tried wearing ankle boots, but was told she wasn’t allowed them.

reallyanotherone · 05/12/2018 09:47

Really hard get brogues for girls. Clark’s do some but girls tend to like the fashionable shoes

At dd’s secondary the current fashion is brogues. They all have the same Clarkes ones, she tells me.

Dd2 wears clarkes boots for most of the year.

T-bars are not comfortable or a good fit for my dd’s so we’ve always had to buy “clodhoppers” Hmm. It usually involves much trailing around town to find a pair. Independent shoe shops are usually the best as they carry some european brands that are far more sensible.

It may be “just how it is” but that doesn’t mean it’s OK. From 5 girls are learning to keep clean and dry because their footwear isn’t appropriate. They’re also learning that they don’t have a choice, they should wear what society tells them to, and that looks/fashion is more important than comfort or practicality.

Racecardriver · 05/12/2018 09:49

Also don’t the the availablitg argument. Have none of you realised that you can just buy shoes from the boys section?