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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I have effectively been dismissed?

541 replies

Autumnwindinthewillows · 04/12/2018 17:05

I worked at an office less than 5 mins walk from a major transport hub. The firm then moved to an office with no easily accessible public transport but the arrangement at the time (or so i thought) was that staff with cars would pick me up from the old office. With staff changes this is no longer happening and I cannot get to work without an hour long journey on public transport plus a 1.5 mile walk which is not feasible.

The bosses have basically reneged on the deal and said it is my problem so it would seem i am out of a job. Can I claim constructive dismissal?

OP posts:
LivingDeadGirlUK · 06/12/2018 13:46

I was going to suggest @TranmereRover idea of getting the tram to the old office location then getting a Taxi.

With regards to the OP's licence, my Ex who had MH issues could not drive because of the medication he took to treat it.

OP you honestly need to check in with your line manager about working from home, your access to work application (as they will be involved), flexi time. I know this probably makes you anxious but good will can turn sour very quickly and its important that you have confirmation that he is aware of your issues and the measure you are taking.

PengAly · 06/12/2018 13:50

I'm starting to wonder if the OP has actually disclosed her MH issues with your employer at all? She has only mentioned that it will be hard for her to get to the new office that one time where the boss casually told her someone will give her lifts and then she emailed saying she can't come in because the commute is too hard. Have you actually TOLD them that you have a disability?

LIZS · 06/12/2018 14:31

You are taking your manager's goodwill for granted - this is neither respectful nor likely to help your case longer term. Does your employer know of your bpd and the limitations it can place on your life? How long have you worked there, is there a probation period for example or performance review period. If you have previously taken time off sick did you have a back to work interview?

Original poster
Autumnwindinthewillows · 06/12/2018 14:42

Sorry ghostsauce they absolutely did. My consultant told me to stop driving and made me do the report to DVLA. They then sent me a letter saying the licence was revoked because of my 'physciatric illness'. I cannot reapply until I have been stable for 6 months and following an agreed treatment plan. I think the reason is because when I am depressed I get suicidal so it stops me using the car to either drive off a bridge or get somewhere dangerous. And as it is bipolar 2 the deoression is the majority of the time, I have only had the hypermania twice

OP posts:
Original poster
Autumnwindinthewillows · 06/12/2018 14:43

I hadn't thought about the mobility elememt of PIP either. I haven't claimed because of the sheer hell people are put thro but maybe I should put on my big girl pants and do it

OP posts:
Original poster
Autumnwindinthewillows · 06/12/2018 14:52

Yes of course i have disclosed everything. Way past the probation period and not had a performance review or back to work interviews when off sick
I am planning to speak to the boss this afternoon if I can find a time when he is not on the phone or in a meeting

OP posts:
PengAly · 06/12/2018 14:53

Have you told your employer about your BPD? Is you arent stable enough for driving are you stable enough to be working? I dont understand why you are ignoring a lot of our questions...

PengAly · 06/12/2018 14:53

Sorry cross posted! Its difficult when you have basically been drip feeding the entire thread

AmbeRiddle · 06/12/2018 14:55

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JustHereForThePooStories · 06/12/2018 14:57

I am planning to speak to the boss this afternoon if I can find a time when he is not on the phone

Oh, the irony.

PengAly · 06/12/2018 15:04

Why not actually put a formal meeting in his diary? Thats what a lot of people do. If you dont speak to him today what is your plan for tomorrow- just continue to be late and assume he wont care? Thats not a good idea.

SnuggyBuggy · 06/12/2018 15:10

Don't drag your child into this. Let him have his own life.

PengAly · 06/12/2018 15:19

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Avrannakern · 06/12/2018 15:41

@PengAly

That is a really awful thing to say. This is a tiny snapshot into one part of her work life, and played out online where people often express feelings they'd never express elsewhere.

The things you say to people have an impact. Consider that before you type again.

PengAly · 06/12/2018 15:46

Oh come on, thats an overreation. I obviously meant it in a medical sense. OP has already said she is medically not stable enough to drive nor do a long commute and is mentally struggling with it. Based on the things she has said, such as driving illegally and being too anxious to talk to her boss its perfectly reasonable to ask.

MaisyPops · 06/12/2018 15:50

Why not actually put a formal meeting in his diary? Thats what a lot of people do.
It's what needed to happen as soon as this was an issue rather than taking days off and deciding what start times would be/unilaterally deciding to do what works for them before talking to their boss.

I wouldn't be taking the boss' lack of response so far as agreement that all is ok either. When I've been part of teams dealing with similar situations (employee making unilateral decisions over what suits them), everything has been business as usual whilst the team leader gets advice on how best to manage the situation.

A discussion about changes to contract and adjustments etc isn't a 'can I catch you quickly' conversation. It is a scheduled meeting with time to discuss properly. Otherwise by tomorrow we'll have another day of turning up at 10am when it suits and it'll be the manager's fault for being on the phone and doing their job today so totally not the OP's responsibility.

LIZS · 06/12/2018 15:52

How is a journey home after 6:30 , presumably walking in the dark, more tolerable than starting out earlier and arriving on time so you can leave sooner. You need to email your manager if you cannot just interrupt and ask for 5 minutes today.

PengAly · 06/12/2018 16:57

Im going to guess the travel during rush hour is making OP anxious and she would prefer to have a sleep in and start later so she doesnt get tired. I know these are assumptions but with the OP with not giving us much info or answering our questions its all i can assume

IF these are the problems then honestly its not down to your employer to manage,you need to have this managed medically and then go to your boss about options

Original poster
Autumnwindinthewillows · 06/12/2018 18:22

Spoke to my boss he sees it as a complete non event and told me to "just do what works"
The other boss did mention taxis but sadly didn't offer to pay for them
I mentioned working from home and he was loath to commit but accepted that it should be feasible. We agreed to review it in 4 weeks by which time hopefully I will have heard from Access to work (nothing today)
So now we just have to see how I cope with the extra time and I think I will hold off applying for new jobs until then
Catastrophe averted and it has helped being able to pour out all the rubbish in my head on here and end up at a sensible situation

OP posts:
SillySallySingsSongs · 06/12/2018 18:27

The other boss did mention taxis but sadly didn't offer to pay for them

Why would they?

Ginandsonicscrewdriver · 06/12/2018 18:32

You can phone your AtW advisor - what have you got through at the moment?

RollaCola84 · 06/12/2018 18:54

SillySallySingsSongs - I thought exactly the same thing when I read that !

Nicknacky · 06/12/2018 18:55

Your other boss is clearly expecting you to be in at your normal working hours.

Gazelda · 06/12/2018 19:05

OP, I hope you realise how flexible and accommodating your employers are being. There aren't many of us that would be able to get away with not turning up one day (other than an email to tell them you're not going in because you've got to check out buses), have organised transport for you for quite some time, are not questioning them when you tell them that you're juggling about with your work hours etc.
I sympathise with your position, but I don't feel you are taking much responsibility for solving it, nor appreciating how fortunate you have been to have such generous co-workers.

Avrannakern · 06/12/2018 19:15

Why would they offer to pay for them?

Really... do you understand and accept that your commute is not their responsibility? You really think they should pay your taxis whilst everyone else funds their own cars or transport? Do you think that would be reasonable?