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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I have effectively been dismissed?

541 replies

Autumnwindinthewillows · 04/12/2018 17:05

I worked at an office less than 5 mins walk from a major transport hub. The firm then moved to an office with no easily accessible public transport but the arrangement at the time (or so i thought) was that staff with cars would pick me up from the old office. With staff changes this is no longer happening and I cannot get to work without an hour long journey on public transport plus a 1.5 mile walk which is not feasible.

The bosses have basically reneged on the deal and said it is my problem so it would seem i am out of a job. Can I claim constructive dismissal?

OP posts:
Schuyler · 06/12/2018 09:11

Oh I just saw your last post. Do you like your job and do you want to stay? Perhaps you can await Access to Work.

PengAly · 06/12/2018 09:13

Op you still arent really taking anyones advise or answering our questions....

Original poster
Autumnwindinthewillows · 06/12/2018 09:22

Schulyer yes I do like the job and yes I would like to stay but it seems impossible now the office has moved. My bad luck.

OP posts:
LIZS · 06/12/2018 09:24

But if you took a taxi you would be on time. There is no need to adjust your start time if the commute itself is no easier - it would not be a reasonable adjustment. A taxi might be.

masterandmargarita · 06/12/2018 09:24

Sorry to use a cliche but mostly in life you create your own luck- adapt and thrive

PengAly · 06/12/2018 09:45

"My bad luck"

No OP its your bad planning and lack of communication thats caused this. Stop acting like a martyr. Funny how you are very selective on this thread about who you reply to Hmm

ReanimatedSGB · 06/12/2018 09:52

I'm sorry for OP's colleagues and manager: it must be hell on earth to work with someone this self-obsessed. At least if she's not been there for a full two years, they should be able to ease her out without too much trouble. (If I was the manager I would probably calculate that a 'goodwill' redundancy payment would be the cheapest and most effective way of getting rid.)

PengAly · 06/12/2018 10:04

@ReanimatedSGB Couldn't agree more- the more this thread goes on the more it seems obvious that OP will likely purposely get herself sacked and then try to claim "unfair dismissal" which is so unfortunate for her company that did nothing wrong

OP, if you are going to look for another job I'd consider working on your attitude and expectations otherwise you will find it difficult to find a job that caters to your every need.

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 06/12/2018 10:09

OP do you have local friends to talk this through with who might be able to make practical suggestions?

Some of your posts remind me of a friend who sometimes castastrophises situations and then spirals in to thinking that there are no solutions. Often what she needs is someone to work through the alternatives with her and look at what she can do.

I actually think it is bad luck that a previously easy commute is now more different, but life has a habit of throwing us curve balls. You can be successful if you learn how to overcome them.

You need to think what would work for your company that you would be able to do.

Original poster
Autumnwindinthewillows · 06/12/2018 10:47

Well I left normal time and got in by 10 so not as bad as I feared. I did get soaked by a passing car driving thro a puddle Angry
The boss is in work and is happy as Larry, not said a word so seems things are ok with me starting later. Now just to see how I cope with getting home 2 hours later which will take time to see how it affects me.
I am tho updating my cv and will be looking at applying for new jobs

OP posts:
Avrannakern · 06/12/2018 10:54

Every other person your position would need to get up earlier and leave earlier.

How does your disability prevent you from leaving earlier and getting to work on time?

PineappleTart · 06/12/2018 10:56

You can't just assume your boss is happy with you starting at 10, you need to speak to them properly and make a plan.

PengAly · 06/12/2018 11:03

Why are you not able to get up earlier to allow the time for the commute like a lot of other people would? You really need to be more specific about your disability limitations in order for us to advise.

Your boss not saying anything does NOT mean they are happy. Most likely he is trying to stay professional and you should be discussing this with him privately. But we have all told you this and you seem to be ignoring that advise.

pickingdaisies · 06/12/2018 11:09

Good luck autumn, this thread has been full of really unhelpful posts of the, "Well, I can do it so why can't you" variety. I also don't read you as entitled, you have said nothing negative about your co-workers, you have tried to honestly explain your situation. Your worst crime was being naïve. Your "attitude" that some have mentioned, I see as a symptom of your illness. Please talk it through with your support in real life, AIBU is really not the place! I'm glad that there are some here who have actually tried to help you. Oh, and check with your boss that's he's ok about your travel experiments!

justanotherprolapse · 06/12/2018 11:10

If you can't walk very far you presumably get a higher rate mobility payment? Why can't you spend that on a taxi? That's what it is for.

MsHopey · 06/12/2018 11:13

You still haven't said what you do for a living, but I can't imagine turning up late (what time was you meant to start?) and then within 47 minutes using your work time to update people on mumsnet instead of working and making up the lost time Confused.
Sorry, just thinking it's a bit inappropriate and could have waited.

Ollivander84 · 06/12/2018 11:16

MsHopey - depends on the job. I can MN any time during the day really, my job is very much answer calls, if there's no calls then we can use our phones

GhostSauce · 06/12/2018 11:17

Without knowing the exact nature of the disability it is really hard to know what suggestions to make. But here's a few:

If it's been years since you cycled could you not spend some time practicing in a car park or on quiet roads at the weekend?

Or if it's a balance issue could you get a trike? 2 people with disabilities in my office have trikes. I see several of them every day going through town on cycle paths.

Or if it's a matter of energy levels an ebike?

If you have Uber in your town how much would an Uber cost 1.5m each way daily? Presumably not much more than it would cost for people who are coming to pick you up in petrol costs?

If it was the boss that suggested you getting lifts from colleagues why can't they do a trial run of giving you lifts, if you agree to be at a specified place at an exact time every day?

If you are unable to drive a car is there any chance you would be able to drive a moped?

There's 6 ideas.

SillySallySingsSongs · 06/12/2018 11:23

@GhostSauce OP has said they have bi polar

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 06/12/2018 11:27

@Autumnwindinthewillows Is it your bipolar medication that means you'll struggle to get up earlier/home later?

Or do you have a different condition that affects your mobility and tiredness?

That's important - it could effect how things play out.

Also; incase you didn't see it earlier, I have bipolar and got taxis funded from AtW. I'm happy to talk you through how it worked for me; but you will have to pay the equivalent public transport costs for if you didn't have a concessionary ticket - could you afford that? (So if the journey would be £5 but you'd get it free because of your ticket; you'd need to pay £5 each way to the taxi, and AtW would pay the rest back to you monthly).

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 06/12/2018 11:29

I don't think them moving office or any of it is grounds at all I'm afraid. The lifts are also just a generous offering from staff that can/want too.

1.5 hours isn't that bad. There are people with daily commutes of 2 hours each way, even more.

If it is that awkward, you'll just have to find a new job.

RavenLG · 06/12/2018 11:34

You’re worried about starting later and finishing earlier wouldnimpact your job so much you’d become overwhelmed with the workload and struggle, yet you’re sat updating your CV, applying for jobs and on MN less than an hour after you’ve started? I wouldn’t think this, or any job is for you with that kind of attitude.

Schuyler · 06/12/2018 11:43

You’ve still not answered about Access to Work. Why don’t you await the assessment and you might fund taxis are partially funded. Don’t give up.

Schuyler · 06/12/2018 11:44

^^might find not fund

PengAly · 06/12/2018 11:45

Also to those saying people here are being unhelpful- OP has received plenty of helpful responses but I believe she is looking for sympathy and wants to the play the victim and since most people on here are being honest with her she isn't responding to the helpful replies.

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