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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That DH is not in yet

87 replies

Sleeplessworries · 04/12/2018 00:27

Spent the whole day at pub with work and still not back.

OP posts:
mrselizabethdarcy · 04/12/2018 00:28

Has he been in touch at all? Phone /text?

Lovingbenidorm · 04/12/2018 00:28

Have you tried ringing him?
Are you worried that he’s up to no good or concerned for his safety?

Starlighting888 · 04/12/2018 00:30

I’m sure he will be home soon with a delightful hangover tomorrow.

JustABetterPlayer · 04/12/2018 00:30

If he’s been there the whole day he’s probably pissed as a fart. And with that in mind I wouldn’t bother waiting up for him.

Original poster
Sleeplessworries · 04/12/2018 00:32

Spoke to him a couple of hours ago. But he has work tomorrow so should be back. Will try to get some sleep and not wait up.

OP posts:
TwiceMagic · 04/12/2018 00:33

I don’t think I’d expect a partner to be in from a Christmas night out yet. I’d just go to bed. He’s a grown up. He’ll be fine and you can laugh at his hangover in the morning. Especially if he needs to get up for work.

Lovingbenidorm · 04/12/2018 00:34

Chances are he’s just pissed and will find his way home like a pigeon.
Your choice is do you wait up, worry, lose sleep and then when he pitches up be crabby with someone who really couldn’t give a flying fart, or do you pop yourself into a snuggly warm bed and enjoy the fact that he will feel like bollocks tomorrow

recklessruby · 04/12/2018 00:35

Are you sure he's not so wasted he doesn't want to come home and face you and has decided to stay at a mate's place overnight but has a dead out of battery phone?
Ds used to rock up at mine at night drunk and needing a bed and forget to text his girlfriend.
Phone was usually dead too. I d give him the sofa and a duvet and text her.
Men don't think. He 'll either wake you up clumsily trying the key 80 times in the front door or creep back with a hangover and a silly excuse tomorrow.

Cloglover · 04/12/2018 00:36

Depends...... If they were supposed to be back by Xpm- then YANBU. If they never said when they'd be back and you didn't agree a time - then YABU. Unless there's a huge back story - they are an adult and surely don't need a curfew?

Lovingbenidorm · 04/12/2018 00:38

Get yourself a good nights kip then get up early and go
“MORNING!! GOT YOU A FULL ENGLISH LOVE!!!”

TwiceMagic · 04/12/2018 00:39

I would never believe someone going on a Christmas night out who said they’d be back by 11. I’dsmile and nod, expect that to be closer to 3am and plan my night accordingly.

Original poster
Sleeplessworries · 04/12/2018 00:40

He said he would be back by 8.... But he always gets carried away when he drinks and loses track of time. There are no trains now so he will need to get a cab. So annoying. Don't want to call as don't want to get into a fight. Will try to sleep.

OP posts:
CrispbuttyNo1 · 04/12/2018 00:42

He’s an adult. I’m sure he’s more than capable of getting a cab or sorting a sofa at a colleagues house. If it’s his xmas do and not a regular occurrence I would enjoy having the bed to myself, hope he comes home quietly, and laugh when he moans about feeling rubbish tomorrow.

recklessruby · 04/12/2018 00:44

Good luck sleeplessworries .try and get some sleep. He will be fine. Not much consolation I know but I have been there and they always come home

CanuckBC · 04/12/2018 00:47

I wouldn’t be impressed. The least he could do is send an update texts saying staying later, drunk but safe. Go to sleep. Just so you don’t worry. Why do men get so senseless when haveing a few. Most woman would let their OH know if plans change or even get home when they say they would.

Lovingbenidorm · 04/12/2018 00:52

We’re all saying “oh just you go to bed love, he’s just pissed and forgotten to ring”
Point is you are worried and he’s definitely being a thoughtless fuck.
Go to bed.
And fucking make him suffer for not letting you know he’s ok, or where he was etc
Sleep and snuggle x

ThistleAmore · 04/12/2018 00:57

And fucking make him suffer for not letting you know he’s ok, or where he was etc

Wow. Imagine going on to a forum primarily frequented by men and seeing this...

Presumably your OH is an adult, OP. You posted at 12.30am, it's not exactly snorting coke in Vegas territory. Enjoy a nice bed to yourself.

Original poster
Sleeplessworries · 04/12/2018 01:01

He should have sent a text saying where he is and what his plans are. I would never do this. Party or no party....

OP posts:
Lovingbenidorm · 04/12/2018 01:02

Oh come on Thistle he said he’d be home at 8pm and op is worried.
No ones doubting that he’s an adult, it’s just manners surely?

CrispbuttyNo1 · 04/12/2018 01:02

You said you spoke to him at about 10.30pm though

LoniceraJaponica · 04/12/2018 01:10

If my husband had said he would be home at 8 and still wasn't home by 12.30 I would be worried that something had happened to him. But then he doesn't have form for this kind of behaviour at all.

Original poster
Sleeplessworries · 04/12/2018 01:11

Yes spoke at 10.30. he said he would leave soon.

OP posts:
Lovingbenidorm · 04/12/2018 01:13

Tbf if my DH said he’d be home at 8pm and wasn’t in by MN I’d have the police out!

Lovingbenidorm · 04/12/2018 01:14

Op, you’re waiting up aren’t you?

Iloveautumnleaves · 04/12/2018 01:17

But he has work tomorrow so should be back

Hmm. Are you his wife or his mother?

Why does he have to tell you where he is? He’s an adult, on a night out, not a teenager.