That DH is not in yet

[Sleeplessworries]

Spent the whole day at pub with work and still not back.

Why involve the police when OP says 'he always gets carried away when he drinks'?

Ilove surely you would be a bit concerned? I’d be concerned about anyone, DH or kids in these circumstances. Chances are he’s ok but it’s not fair to tell someone who loves you that you’ll be home about 8 and still not be home 6 hours later.
It’s normal to worry and also be cross because of the worry!

He doesn’t HAVE to but it’s a respectful thing to tell the person you live with and hopefully love when you will be in so they don’t worry and fret about you. So they don’t worry you are passed out in the street or have been mugged or similar. It’s common courtesy imo to let your OH know and update them. Yes, he is an adult na dstamo food can damn well do what he wants when he wants fuck anyone else👿

However, he also has a loved one who will worry and stress over him not being home and not updating. The adult, respectful, courteous thing to do would be to send a quick message saying I am alright, just more pissed then thought, at Johnnys house for the night.

Ignore all the typos, hopefully you get the gist

Got the gist and agree Canuck !

With any luck he'll be suffering with a wicked hangover tomorrow. Just sit back and laugh.

@Sleeplessworries please do give us an update. Hope he’s home and feeling rough 😉

He got in at 2.20 am. I pretended to be asleep. Keys jangling and making a racket.

He is in pub with work? Does he work in a pub? I know people who do have to work 'after hours' to clear up so as to be ready for next day. In which I suppose 2.30am is par for the course. I honestly don't know.

People don't usually drink on duty, or at least not very much, so doubt if he has a hangover.

if my DH said he’d be home at 8pm and wasn’t in by MN I’d have the police out!

🙄

I think you’d find they’d have their own ideas on that.

OP I’m glad he is home but is this a one off or a bigger issue? Does he go out regularly? Is drink a reoccurring problem?

Coming back at 8 was a bit of a drastic promise how did it come about?

I never understand these threads. Grown men out with their mates having a drink and their wives frettting because they're not back at 12.30am.

What do people think has happened?

Blue he was on a work night out

I don’t understand them either @GreatDuckCookery.

I don't understand why so many women on this thread accept what I consider to be unacceptable behaviour from their partners.

OH and I often go out without each other, BUT we would never pull a stunt like this. It is inconsiderate and disrespectful. If I know I'm going to be late I let him know. He has health issues and never stays out late anyway, but would let me know if that was the case.

Someone has gone to the pub and isn't back by half twelve? Hardly anything to worry about.

@greatduckcookery @twicemagic I suspect the problem is usually a bit deeper in that the partner isn’t helping at home, or absconds regulary, spending money they don’t have etc.

As someone above said, my DH May say ‘I won’t be back late from Xmas drinks’ and I nod slowly with an eyebrow raised! I want him to go and have and won’t do passive aggressive hoovering and whatnot the next morning, quite the opposite as I’ll look after him if he is hungover.

The difference is we have a relationship built on respect and equally share everything from money to housework to socialising. I find this kind of consideration is usually missing from relationships like the OPs, hence why going out becomes a battle ground.

I suspect the problem is usually a bit deeper in that the partner isn’t helping at home, or absconds regulary, spending money they don’t have etc

Really? I didn't pick that up on this thread in particular. Just a woman fretting that her husband isn't home, has missed the last train and will be knackered for work today.

I can't believe you were sat up all night because your husband was late home from the pub. That's a bit mad.

You sound pretty joyless - try to chill out

As someone above said, my DH May say ‘I won’t be back late from Xmas drinks’ and I nod slowly with an eyebrow raised! I want him to go and have and won’t do passive aggressive hoovering and whatnot the next morning, quite the opposite as I’ll look after him if he is hungover.

It was me. And yes. It is about having a decent relationship. I’d laugh (kindly) at the hangover (no aggressive housework here).

But actually lots of the posts on here are just about how unacceptable and disrespectful it is. Full stop. These threads come up fairly regularly and I can never understand the fretting over a man who stayed out til 2am on an occasional night out.

I think quite a lot of people use concern as some kind control. And then dress it up as having high standards and expecting politeness. I don’t need to know where a partner is at all times. As a competent adult (who I trust) I know he’ll be home at some point and don’t require text updates.

It would be different if I didn’t think he was competent or trustworthy. But that’s not about the coming home from a night out a bit late. It’s a much more fundamental problem in the relationship.

@greatduckcookery I was speaking in general, I suspect that’s the case for this OP.

Maybe my assumptions are OTT, but it’s the only way I can explain why someone would be awake and fretting in this scenario...

Don’t get me wrong, once it gets very late I might send my DH a text (usually ‘I’m off to bed, you good’) but I know he’s unlikely to get smashed beyond all capability, Its likely one of his mates would be there to call me if there’s a problem and the exact same goes for when I go out...

And before anyone says it I don’t think it’s about being a ‘cool wife’, but some people just seem to want to know that their partner is indoors even if they do fuck all when there.

If you are given a time and they rock up 6+ hours late it's thoughtless. He'd been out at the pub all day not just after work so would be in a right state, I can understand the Ops worry.

Nothing controlling about it.

@nanny, out of interest, what would your response be if you got a text/call saying I’ll be out later than the time I originally gave but don’t know how much later?