AIBU re time off for miscarriage?

[mortifiedmama]

Honestly don't know if I am being unreasonable. How long do you think is reasonable for time off for a miscarriage at 8 weeks, no complications and a naturally conceived pregnancy (woman in question has a DS3 and the misccariage pregnancy, both conceived within 3 months of trying).

I'm asking as my friend (the person in question) has taken 10 weeks off. She's got a disciplinary at work re a few issues, including absence and performance and I hadn't realised she'd had that long off for the mc (she's had other absences too, and we don't work together).

From my knowledge of others experiences- colleagues, family and friends, and myself, it seems like a long time but wondered what others felt?

Oh come on of course it's not being judgemental. In my 30 year career I've supported friends and colleagues through most life events including death of a parent, still birth at 37 weeks, divorce and partner's suicide.

And did you think it was appropriate to start threads on Mumsnet about how quickly they got over it?

I’ll bet your friend will feel much better when she sees this story in the daily mail, OP.

I had 3 months off when I had a miscarriage. It was however miscarriage number 6, at the age of 24... it was at that point that I had decided I could never have a baby. That the world was conspiring against me and I had a bit of a break down. The miscarriages beforehand I had a day of work for each of them. In hindsight, I should've taken longer and would maybe have not fell apart on the 6th if I had.

We are all different. Your friend is the only one who really knows her situation and how she feels. Even if she has confided in you, you don't REALLY know what's going on in her head.

I would say, none of your business and it's not for you to be starting threads about on the internet. You are her friend, not her employer. Listen to her and comfort her and tell her it'll all be okay (because eventually it will). That is all I wanted from any of my friends and family at the time.

*fallen. Not fell. Terrible grammar!

I think it’s all down to the individual, I managed a lady who had 3 miscarriages, then went onto have a healthy boy, each time she had about a week off. This was her decision as I very much let her lead the way on time off.