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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if there is anybody who is happy to spend Xmas with the in laws?

170 replies

sweeneytoddsrazor · 30/11/2018 22:01

So many threads about in laws and Christmas. Is there nobody out there who wants to see the in laws at Christmas.

OP posts:
AFOLNerd · 01/12/2018 06:10

DMIL is lovely and I am quite happy to spend Xmas with her.
Dfil (they are separated) is very loud and opinionated and can be a bit “handsy” so we limit time with him but overall we all get on well.

Groovee · 01/12/2018 06:11

I do. I get on well with PIL.

NinjaGoSaysNo · 01/12/2018 06:13

I didn't mind/quite enjoyed it until BIL got his current gf - she's loud and rude and attention seeking and I can't bear to be in the same room as her!

MutantDisco · 01/12/2018 06:17

My PILs are just a bit thrifty and miserly and hard work which isn't ideal with two young DC, so we go to them for MIL's birthday in early January instead.

My mum is mad keen on Christmas and insists that we don't lift a finger every year, happy to oblige Grin she is a bit martyrish the rest of the year

Boglin · 01/12/2018 06:25

Me! I enjoy spending time with my in laws, they're going to SIL's for Christmas dinner but coming to us late afternoon/evening.

NicePieceOfPlaid · 01/12/2018 06:30

Both DiLs will be here. We have to push them out of the door to go to bed.

Lovely young women.

ALemonyPea · 01/12/2018 06:31

I would if mine were still alive. We used to go to theirs every Christmas evening for the worlds crappest Christmas tea, but it was a happy tradition.

NotCitrus · 01/12/2018 06:41

I love my in-laws. From age 21 for 15 years I spent at least 5 days at theirs with MrNC for Christmas. Now we see them a couple days later and stay over at other times of year, as they arent so compatible with small children, but it's still lovely to see them.

My parents are OK especially since I had kids and am finally recognised as a grown-up, but a day visit for Christmas is sufficient. MrNC and I enjoy them for six hours but couldn't manage my mum overnight and my dad can't deal with company longer either.

Marble2017 · 01/12/2018 06:46

We alternate between my in laws and my mum's.....my mum was told a few weeks back that her cancer had grown and the doctor was not going to offer her any more chemo....so we will be visiting her this year. Cherish you loved ones...ps don't think this us a downer post....we're thankful she got this far x

Upupupwithafish · 01/12/2018 06:47

We always had FIL for Christmas. He was the loveliest man and we all adored him. Sadly he is no longer with us and we all miss him.

MsTSwift · 01/12/2018 06:48

We have had our worst Christmases with in laws. Think of people who are warm, fun, positive and good company. Well my in laws are the direct opposite of that

DartmoorDoughnut · 01/12/2018 06:59

I see my MIL once a week by myself and she’s awesome, her and FIL are coming for Christmas and my parents aren’t as my brother is working weird hours (he’s a nurse) so he can’t get to us for Christmas but can get to them ... well that’s what he says but frankly he doesn’t like my ILs so I think he’s said that to have a break this year 😂

BoringSoup · 01/12/2018 07:21

@ChodeofChodeHall 💐.

I was just about to come on moaning about my MIL, but when I read your post, well.......
I hope your MIL is safe and warm also, and hope one day she will return.

Angharad07 · 01/12/2018 07:23

Yes! I’d happily stay with mine over Christmas. They’re wonderful people and I consider them my family.

cptartapp · 01/12/2018 07:24

My parents are both dead so we spend it with PIL and SIL who, lovely as they are, think 'fun' involves chatting politely and drinking warm Vimto. Any exuberance by the DC is classed as 'silliness' and frowned upon. Even on Xmas day. Very sad and resentful inside.

MaggieAndHopey · 01/12/2018 07:32

Mine were great. My mother in law really loved Christmas, she used to do the whole Good Housekeeping thing, properly decked the halls, lots of delicious food on, and used to do big stockings for my husband and me. There was always plenty fizz on hand and they lived in a secluded cottage in the country, near some ancient woods - lots of frosty post-lunch walks. That house almost came to symbolise Christmas for me. Both MIL and FIL now dead, sadly, so we always have Christmas at my mum's, who also really goes to town - she and my husband are close and while it's obviously not the same for him it is still a special time.

Crunchymum · 01/12/2018 07:34

I'd happily spend Xmas with mine.

We live a 15 minute walk away so see them all the time anyway (I am on ML and MIL is retired so comes by most days and has a key it was my idea Smile )

We'll spend the actual day at home as the kids would prefer to be with all their toys but we have a big Xmas eve dinner with in-laws and also go for NYE dinner.

We did used to go to my folks for Xmas day but haven't the past few years. I see them all at a family Birthday party between Xmas and NY.

LilMy33 · 01/12/2018 07:36

I’m seeing mine for new year and next year when we move closer we’ll most likely spend christmases with them and that’s fine.

My previous in-laws though I could only manage by getting steadily hammered and occasionally going to scream into a pillow when it all got too much. I am so glad to be rid of them now. For balance, I feel that way about my own side of the family too but they piss me off in different ways.

WhateverHappenedToTheHeatwave · 01/12/2018 07:36

Two generations of in laws coming together here this Christmas, looking forward to it.

WhateverHappenedToTheHeatwave · 01/12/2018 07:38

cptartapp sod that for a laugh. Have a Christmas at home and see them after!

ItsClemFandangoCanYouHearMe · 01/12/2018 07:39

I love mine, they're great company but we switch it up every year so not this year.

MattBerrysHair · 01/12/2018 07:39

When I was still married and MIL was still alive I loved going to hers for Xmas! The dc were tiny but they lived it too. My dm ALWAYS, without fail, kicked up a stink and sulked about us not being with her though. We alternated each year and some years MIL even invited my dm and family too.

WhateverHappenedToTheHeatwave · 01/12/2018 07:41

My parrnts don't have in laws over though as i remember many a ruined christmas and one or boths frustration.

knittingdad · 01/12/2018 07:41

I'm happier with my in-laws than with my Dad. That does imply that my DW wouldn't be happy staying with her in-laws (and I can't blame her).

Logically, this implies that it would be reasonable for about half of people not to be happy staying with their in-laws.

fibonaccisequins · 01/12/2018 07:42

Both DH and I will spend Christmas with our respective in laws. And laugh as they letch over Michael Buble. (MILs only as Fils are deceased) Delighted to do so as we all get on disgustingly well. Boundaries innit. We do realise we're lucky to be in this situation - so many people have troublesome ILS.