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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if there is anybody who is happy to spend Xmas with the in laws?

170 replies

sweeneytoddsrazor · 30/11/2018 22:01

So many threads about in laws and Christmas. Is there nobody out there who wants to see the in laws at Christmas.

OP posts:
Nitpickpicnic · 30/11/2018 22:12

I love my brother’s in-laws so I spend Xmas day with them!

Although it’d be quite the adventure to spend it with my own PILs, given they passed a decade ago. My other in-laws are a bit of a trial, to be honest. We see them Boxing Day, and briefly. My DD has not been blessed with a warm, Xmas-spirited extended family.

Famously, in 2016, my 5yo DD ran up to her auntie on dh’s side, threw her little arms around her waist and sang ‘Merry Christmas!!!’
Auntie peeled her off with a scowl and grunted ‘Is it? I don’t think so.’

So no. We’re not trembling with ecstatic anticipation at seeing them...!

Popskipiekin · 30/11/2018 22:12

More than happy to spend Christmas with the in-laws. They are hard work but equally they do mean exceptionally well and they want it to be restful for us, it just isn’t, remotely. Our DC adore them and Mil won’t hear of me helping with food prep and Fil gets the good alcohol in. They’re not my parents but DH is happy, and we spend every other Christmas with my family. In-laws’ turn this year and I’m all good with that.

Walkerbean16 · 30/11/2018 22:12

my mil lives with us Grin she is pretty fab though. i am due on the 28th this so her and H will be doing the cooking!

motortroll · 30/11/2018 22:12

I am!!

In all honesty there are downsides (they always tell the kids to be quiet....on Christmas Day!!) but we don't go often and when I do go I get to do literally NOTHING and no one tells me off. Mil makes PA comments occasionally and I just pretend not to notice.

My in-laws house is the only place I can bog off to the bedroom for an afternoon snooze!!

We've been for Xmas twice before each time a couple of weeks after having a baby. It was the perfect choice!

This year my husband is cooking dinner in his mums kitchen as she gets stressed cooking for more than 2. So I get to sit down and read all the new books people had better buy me!

This time I'm just fed up of hosting my mum so if I go away my sister will have to do it. I love my mum and it's more relaxed than at in-laws but she never leaves!!!!!

Emma765 · 30/11/2018 22:13

My husband! And actually we invited his parents to stay with us as well... But they're going on holiday instead. I'd be happy to spend it with them.

Dinosforall · 30/11/2018 22:13

Yes, they're a lot more chilled out than my parents!

SallyWD · 30/11/2018 22:13

I love being with my ILs

MrsBobDylan · 30/11/2018 22:16

My best ever Christmas was spent with my ILs - they are awesome and made my childhood dream of being loved come true.

Sorry if that's a bit sentimental Blush

Chocolateheaven123 · 30/11/2018 22:17

Me. We are spending Christmas with them this year. Dont get me wrong, it's completely different to the ones in used to (big family, lots of food and drink, lots of laughter and fun) whereas DP is an only child so it's far more low key, but it's his parents and my son's grandparents. Theyre lovely people and his mum is a terrific cook, so no real complaints, just different :)

Blanchedupetitpois · 30/11/2018 22:17

I LOVE seeing my in laws at Christmas. They’re just lovely, lovely people and I love how my own traditions have expanded since I started sharing theirs. We are luckily able to split the day between our families, but I never resent the time I am with them and even as I am excited to go to my family, I am sad to leave them.

I feel so sorry for people with awful in laws - I can only imagine how stressful it is.

nuttyknitter · 30/11/2018 22:19

Our son and DIL have hosted both sets of parents, and extended family, for Christmas for the past six years. Their choice, and we really appreciate the trouble they go to. I love my DIL dearly and enjoy the close relationship we have with her family. We are very lucky!

mindutopia · 30/11/2018 22:19

I used to. Thought my MIL was grand...then she went and married a paedophile (no exaggeration here, like he’s been to prison), so we don’t really spend much time at all with her anymore as we want nothing to do with him. The rest of my dh’s family is lovely and normal though.

DavetheCat2001 · 30/11/2018 22:20

Mine are fab..MiL has a wicked tongue and is v funny, FiL is a bit of an old soak, but a thoroughly nice chap.

Not seeing them till we go up to theirs on the 27th this year, but we always have a fun time with them.

bourbonbiccy · 30/11/2018 22:21

We spend Christmas with my in laws and we have a lovely time. We stay overnight and get waited on, so it's a nice break. They are truly lovely people, we have also previously been on holiday with them and gave booked to go again next year

QueenofallIsee · 30/11/2018 22:21

Perfectly happy with my ex in-laws or my current in-laws. Loved my ex-MIL so much i threatened to go for custody in the divorce!

MagicKeysToAsda · 30/11/2018 22:21

Love mine! We all make extra effort to keep seeing each other since DH died, and I really love that we still have that relationship, many years on. Particularly lucky that all the cousins are lovely and get on well with my DC, and that my side of the family also all enjoy time with my in-laws.

GimmeBread · 30/11/2018 22:29

Love having my MIL at Xmas but we take it turns. She thinks it's because nobody wants her 2 years running but she's so wrong!

ScottyDog7 · 30/11/2018 22:30

I'm another who is pleased to be spending Christmas with my inlaws.

GimmeBread · 30/11/2018 22:31

I just wish my FIL was still alive. He died 16 years ago so he's never spent Xmas with us at this house.

pallisers · 30/11/2018 22:34

Loved my ex-MIL so much i threatened to go for custody in the divorce!

My dh jokes that if we ever split his mother would want to get me in the settlement and not him :)

Doilooklikeatourist · 30/11/2018 22:35

My parents are both dead sadly , Mum much missed , dad , not so much
So , the inlaws will be with us on Christmas Day , it’s ok , they’re very kind , and so generous to the grown up DC , but they just annoy me

But , it’s me being a witch , and I should be nicer

pacempercutiens · 30/11/2018 22:37

I'm spending Christmas with my in laws and I'm pretty happy about it. I got lucky and got nice PIL

LokiBear · 30/11/2018 22:38

I dont mind. I get to see my neices and nephew. I prefer Christmas dinner at my parents. But that is just because it is nostalgic. Ils always go out of their way to make it special. We alternate Christmas dinner at my parents and ils. We always have the morning to ourselves.

ChodeofChodeHall · 30/11/2018 22:38

Yes! This will be our 9th Christmas without MIL: she has been missing since 2009. I hope she is safe and warm, wherever she is. I hope we get to spend another Christmas with her one day. She'll annoy the shit out of me, but so be it.

E20mom · 30/11/2018 22:38

Not me