AIBU to ask about petty things you've done?

[Fibbertigibbet]

Just that, really! I thought it would be a fun thread to ask about petty things you've done just because you can. I want to hear about your parking fares paid with 1p pieces!

I'll start: I had an ex who was (when I looked back after the relationship ending) emotionally abusive, sexually coercive, and generally awful. Years after we broke up, he self published the book he'd been working on whilst we'd been together. It was a dystopian novel which revolved around a huge corporation doing some terrible things, and when I googled the name of the book to be nosey, I found that a real corporation with that name DID EXIST in Brazil. I may or may not have sent an email to make them aware of such defamation and gone to the effort to have Google translated it into Portuguese

I look at the instagram account of someone who made my life a living hell at work a number of years ago. I revel in every single life failure that she whines about on it. I do nothing but watch her misery, and I thoroughly enjoy her suffering, having endured her bitching and evilness for far too long.

I don't say bye to people on the phone when I'm working if they are rude to me and I hang up when they are saying bye

My MIL is bloody horrid to me. I'm always overly nice to her though.

This year I've bought her the most vile smelling hand soap I could find in Molton Brown it was about ten minutes after she asked me if I was sure DS was DH's ...

Thanks @BorisAndDoris. The best bit was that the microwave still had leftovers in it that he was probably reheating around the time we arrived. No lunch for him that day! Straight to the skip with the rest of the shite.

Call the former Chancellor Gideon, a name he hates.

Grade A cunt of an ex boss was anally tidy and obsessed with his appearance.

I once caught him arranging things on his desk by measuring the distance between them. Every time I passed when he wasn't there after that I would shift just one thing out of place, and if his jacket was there, sprinkle a couple of dog hairs on it.

My MIL is bloody horrid to me. I'm always overly nice to her though.

This year I've bought her the most vile smelling hand soap I could find in Molton Brown blush it was about ten minutes after she asked me if I was sure DS was DH's ...

I love this. Keep rising above, for those of us that couldn't!

Bluebell - wondering if we had the same boss!

If DH doesn’t pick his socks off the floor, I don’t bother chasing after our spaniel to get them back - they end up completely shredded 🤷🏻‍♀️

I've found my people

I found out an ex boyfriend was cheating on me so I went to his flat to pick up my stuff.

While I was there, I took the scissors to his only suit and cut carefully placed holes in the armpit and crotch area and shredded the inside of the pockets - none of which would have been noticeable until he put it on

I also pulled back the duvet and emptied a full 4 pint of almost off milk over the sheet and mattress and then remade the bed - this was in the height of summer and I knew he wouldn't be back until the following week as he was off with his new girlfriend.

Apparently the smell in the bedroom was indescribable! and he had to get rid of the king size mattress - did I mention he lived on the 11th floor and the lift was too small to get the mattress in so he had to carry it down the stairs?

Back in the day, ILEA used to have Play Centres after school and holiday play schemes; our school was used in rotation for these with two others. (Those were the days......)
At the beginning of one summer holiday, I realised that I needed to retrieve some personal possessions from my classroom, so dropped in to collect.
The supervisor was very protective of her status, and spoke rudely and aggressively to me as I came in, as if I were an unidentified intruder. I realise that protecting the children was part of her remit, but she gave me no chance to introduce or identify myself (and the children skipping about greeting me by name might have given her an inkling that I was something to do with the establishment).
I bided my time. Our school came up on the rota for the Summer Play Scheme again, and my classroom was to be used. Teachers were asked to turn bookcases round, etc, which I duly did, leaving it clear for use. And as a final security measure, I locked the door as I left.
My headmaster was a wonderful man, but one of his few failings was, you couldn't trust him with a key; he had so many, he lost track. So the only spare key to my room had vanished into the ether.
Naturally, when I was contacted at home, I happily came in and unlocked. I didn't rush in; the children had the playground and school hall to be getting on with, so it wasn't an emergency.
But Mrs Jobsworth had to be polite, and acknowledge me as a member of the permanent staff there, before she could get into my classroom.
The following year, I volunteered for the work myself (getting a house deposit together) and it turned out that, as a qualified teacher, I was automatically put in at a higher grade than her.

When I was an apprentice beauty therapist I used to have to clean foot files and make drinks. One client was so rude to me so I tapped the foot file in her coffee :) I am going to hell

My DH has been sleeping on the sofa to make sure he gets a good nights sleep as baby is just not a sleeper.

When he pisses me off I set hourly reminders on Alexa through the night to tell him I think he’s a cock.

When I was in secondary school I went on the school bus every day with a right nasty piece of work. She used to verbally assault me every day and was generally quite horrible. Our parents were friends though and I was forced to interact with her.
One day the bus was late. She left the bus stop but I waited on and went to school.
When I came home my mum asked me what homework we had been given - I rattled off a prepared list including writing a letter to Santa (we were 13 or 14 so it was at the embarrassing is there a Santa stage) and recording herself singing. I also told her she had to do “training” for pe - running up and down the stairs for 10 minutes solid.
My mum never questioned why I didn’t do it and the next day she embarassed herself royally by showing off her letter to Santa.
That’s probably the pettiest I’ve ever been.
(I did get in trouble with my parents afterwards)

When having to move into one lane, I ignore other drivers and stare ahead, not letting them in. It winds me up when the cheeky sods leave it to the last minute and I am too stubborn, I’m afraid!

I’ve also used bad housemates’ towels to wipe the bathroom floor and had to hide my food and milk from them because they’d drink from the carton otherwise.

I also push car mirrors in when it’s hard to get past cars badly parked on pavements, and am a prolifically note writer when I can’t park for my physio appointment (eg. Please don’t park here. This car park is for customers only).

After I caught my H in bed with OW, I cut up and drew on every single item of clothing he owned. Everything. Underwear, shoes, ties that he never even wore. Then I delivered it all and dumped it on the floor (in the bags, although I now wish I'd emptied them...) of where they both worked in front of their colleagues and customers.

When DH gets to lazy in house or spends to much time playing fifa or red dead or whatever new shite is out on the Xbox, I will accidently take the controller to work. And maybe the sky remote. (We work different shifts)

And also have when fallen out and he was downstairs in one room watching Now tv and I was upstairs, went online to now tv and clicked "sign out of all devices" knowing he didnt know the log in details. Haha 1-0 to the wife hahahahahahahaha

I love this thread.

When he pisses me off I set hourly reminders on Alexa through the night to tell him I think he’s a cock.

Omfg I need an Alexa

The day I moved me and the kids out of our home, my best mate and I put deep heat in my exh's bottle of 'hand cream' he kept in bedside drawer for wanking with.

When I was younger, if my sister annoyed me I'd wait for her to get in the shower then flush the loo downstairs. YOu could hear her shreek where the water suddenly went cold!

On birth of DS2 FIL came to visit new baby ( day 4 so I was very very hormonal) and proceded to tell me I should of had a girl and what a shame it was a second boy.
He went for a pub lunch in village with DH. DH saw I was probably going to kill him so took him off with DS1 leaving me home with my baby.
Well FIL had a few drinks over lunch and then drove home. DH confirmed FIL had been drinking when I asked.

So I phoned the police non emergency line to report him for drink driving. I assume but don’t know that they unfortunately didn’t catch him. But I really wish they had!

Petty maybe but he shouldn’t drink and drive especially when an angry DIL is nearby.

In first year of uni my room was directly above a guy who played deafening music at all hours of the day/night and smoked a lot of cigarettes and weed which made the whole block smell. Once when my friend and I were walking back from the pub in the middle of winter, I saw his window was open so we dumped a load of snow and ice through the window which landed in his bed (with him in it) and all over his hifi! There was much swearing

His flatmates also played a genius prank on him one day where they wrote out an official looking letter using the uni letterhead and everything saying he was going to be 'expelled' for taking drugs in uni. He fell for it hook, line and sinker and was absolutely beside himself. They eventually took pity on him when he was about to break the news to his parents

They also wrapped every single item in his room in tinfoil once

Starting to feel a bit sorry for him now!

On another note, one of my friends who liked to piss people off for no reason once pulled the pin out of my rape alarm and went off to the gym with it!

He used to be in the TA and I washed his beret and dried it stretched over a plate.

^

Weeping at this.