AIBU to ask about petty things you've done?

[Fibbertigibbet]

Just that, really! I thought it would be a fun thread to ask about petty things you've done just because you can. I want to hear about your parking fares paid with 1p pieces!

I'll start: I had an ex who was (when I looked back after the relationship ending) emotionally abusive, sexually coercive, and generally awful. Years after we broke up, he self published the book he'd been working on whilst we'd been together. It was a dystopian novel which revolved around a huge corporation doing some terrible things, and when I googled the name of the book to be nosey, I found that a real corporation with that name DID EXIST in Brazil. I may or may not have sent an email to make them aware of such defamation and gone to the effort to have Google translated it into Portuguese

Itchy, ours doesn’t mind about people holding open doors for each other, it’s a tiny nursery. The dad is just a grumpy so and so.

Ha ha marmalad love that one

at our nursery there are signs saying don't hold the door open, even if you recognise the other parent

Same here

I used to turn my ex’s fags upside down in pack when he pissed me off. He wasted a lot of fags by lighting the wrong end. It amused me no end.

While I was living at home dm hosting a going away party for a friend. By hosted what I mean is she told me the date and the menu and expected it to be done. I was happy to pull my weight but she had ridiculous demands (mattresses needed flipped and garden shed needed cleaned out and painted) so I was pissed of. Then during the party she was telling everyone how if you just do an hour of housework a day you can always be ready for guests.
Anyway, she announced it was time for the present, I deliberately stayed on the other side of a room and said it was hanging on the hoover, which forced her to ask where the hoover was, my answer on its hook, which then forced her to admit she hadn’t a bloody clue where that was.
Extremely petty when I should have been dealing with the toxic environment but it felt good.

There used to be a woman at my husband’s work who flirted with him ALL the time. She doesn’t eat a certain ingredient so one Christmas I made a bunch of really spectacular cakes for the office containing this ingredient, so she couldn’t have one but had to listen to everyone talk about how amazing I was all day

This thread reminds me of The Twits with the worm spaghetti and growing walking stick/ the shrinks!

The twat of a husband had annoyed me, so I turned a pair of his pants inside out and gave them a good rub on the loft insulation, gave them a shake, put them back the right way round and popped them back in the drawer.

Cooking for exh in the early days w(ho turned out to be a twat) , a sausage fell out of the pan into the cat litter tray(clean)
Scooped it back in then served it to him!!

DH asked for a lift to the station at ridiculous o'clock the other morning. We got up early and he was a bit of a twat, stomping about and moaning when I had to get DS7 out of bed (DS13 stayed in the house but I'm reluctant to leave them both together simply because they're arseholes together some of the time).

We arrived at the station and dropped DH at the drop off area, and he stood reading an email then walked away. I put the windows all the way down and shouted "goodbye my loooooooooooooove" like Jim Carrey does in Dumb and Dumber as loudly as I could. DH is terribly easily embarrassed and says I'm never allowed to drive him anywhere ever again because he had to sit opposite a man on his train journey who kept repeating "goodbye my love" and giggling to himself all the way to London.

Petty but still worthwhile.

I used to have a horrible neighbour who was a 60 year old bitch from hell with lots of boyfriends. She hated anyone female but would happily flirt with my dad, husband, etc. After one particularly unpleasant incident with her I took to googling free samples of things like Tena lady, flatulence control tablets, chlamydia kits etc so that she would get lots of embarrassing free samples through the post for all her man friends to see 😂 yes very petty and stupid but it still makes me laugh 10 years on!

Husband seems allergic* to the cardboard inner tube of toilet paper, he just cannot handle them or move them.

He often finds them in suit pockets, under his pillow or in his lunch bag.

Oh how I laugh.

*not a real allergy^^ obvs.

Asterisk fail.

When I moved in with DP he left his crap everywhere and it drove me nuts. He called me a nag if I brought it up so one day I filled his work suitcase with everything he’d dumped around the house - dirty pants, banana skins, yoghurt pots, pens, clean clothes, unopened letters, all mixed in together - and put it back on top of the wardrobe. He found it hilarious.

I used to live in a terrace and we had shared front lawns.. common courtesy was to take turns mowing all the lawns

Until my twat of a next door neighbour decided to start talking rubbish about me behind my back over something he had no clue about

I mowed all of our lawns except for his little patch in front of his door

Quite surprising how angry someone will get over some grass but it made me smile every time I saw it so was totally worth it!

I have kept a credit card in my maiden name. When DH pisses me off I order a 12 month subscription to a magazine in my maiden name so he has to see it every month. He said he didn't mind if I didn't change my name when we got married but would like it if I did. It was petty way of reminding him that I was more than just his wife.

DH was playing on his xbox. I walked into the living room and he started nastily yelling at me as if I were interrupting him (I hadn't said a thing)

I walked out and shut the electricity off at the fuse box. Me being the only one who even knew what a bloody fuse box was, he had no idea how to put it back on.

He never acted like a dick when it came to gaming again. He'd never done it before that either.

I don't like my DB's GF but we all share a Netflix account so I periodically change her profile to kids.

I took one of my husband's socks, carefully sewed buttons and wool onto it to make it into a sock puppet. Then paired it back up to look like a normal pair of socks, and replaced it in his packing for his business trip. There was rage, it was very satisfying.

DH being a total ass - I took the already loose arm off his favourite childhood bear and posted it to him in a shoe box with a ransom note of required behaviour and apology. Got both - sewed arm back on securely

I want to save all of these things to try, I love winding my partner up.

This thread is so funny!

I don't like my DB's GF but we all share a Netflix account so I periodically change her profile to kids.

I aspire to this level of petty.

Some of these are brilliant!

I wrote a book and for all the nasty characters I made sure they were based on people who have not been kind to me. I left in enough traits so they'd know (if they read it) and I'd know, but not so many that I'd get into legal trouble.

Very cathartic.

Just remembered another one - DH complains I let the loo roll end dangle down really near the floor. One night I got a bid made and dragged the loo roll (still attached to its holder) out the bathroom door, criss-crossed the long landing, in and out of bannisters etc. It was like a cat's cradle. Then went to bed. He discovered it when he staggered up later.

Five years between my sister and I, and we didn’t rub along as kids - I was the older one doing all the minding. DS is terribly disorganized so occasionally when she got too bratty I’d hide her school journal in her bedroom. That’s where she did her homework so surely she lost it? And every three days without it was a detention. Still doesn’t know to this day