AIBU to ask about petty things you've done?

[Fibbertigibbet]

Just that, really! I thought it would be a fun thread to ask about petty things you've done just because you can. I want to hear about your parking fares paid with 1p pieces!

I'll start: I had an ex who was (when I looked back after the relationship ending) emotionally abusive, sexually coercive, and generally awful. Years after we broke up, he self published the book he'd been working on whilst we'd been together. It was a dystopian novel which revolved around a huge corporation doing some terrible things, and when I googled the name of the book to be nosey, I found that a real corporation with that name DID EXIST in Brazil. I may or may not have sent an email to make them aware of such defamation and gone to the effort to have Google translated it into Portuguese

when I was about 10 my dad worked 6am shifts so would go to bed around 9pm. Whenever he shouted at me I would go into his room once he was asleep and flick his alarm clock off at the plug, then flick it back on and go to bed. Alarm wouldnt go off, he would wake up late and panicked and it ruined his day. He was convinced we had power cuts in the night

Exh used to like cheese and onion sandwiches for pack up. When he was at his most twatty i included the pointy end of the onion and some hairy bits as well.
I also used his toothbrush to clean the toilet.
He used to be in the TA and I washed his beret and dried it stretched over a plate.. He was furious. It stuck out rigid.. No floppy berretness at all.

Food wise my DH insists that he needs a mouthful of meat to eat any veg or salad, he also loathes pesto.
If he is an arse, he is served vegetarian food or pesto pasta until he apologises.
The minute a vegetarian dish is served now, he knows he's in the shit.

Last night ndn kept us awake with bedroom shenanigans against our adjoining wall.
I put a bit of Lionel on really loud.
"all night long", then text him to stfu as some of us have to work today.
He sent a humble apology this morning -
And dh complained to his df!! He was more embarrassed than his romeo ds!!

My DS was being rude to me in front of his mates when I dropped him off at school so I made sure to give him a big hug and kiss and said 'remember that Mummy loves you sweetypie'

He never did it again

"Hiphopopotamous" I'm doing this from now on, thank you

Me and my sister didn't get along until only a couple years ago. When she she maybe 10 and u would have been 17, she took the last packet of instant noodles that are meant to be mine.
My mum asked me to stop being pathetic and find something else to eat. I came back with an entire proper pot, without the lid and poured it into my poor 10 year olds noodles. I did it because I know even if pepper had floated from China into her food she would have tasted it and started crying she hated it so much.
I couldn't even eat the noodles myself. I just wanted her to not have them.

My ExH always left hairs in the plug hole after a shower when he washed his hair. I lost count how many times I asked him to remove them, but he NEVER did it.

So I used to take the soggy, wet hair ball and put it into his coat pocket or into his work bag, every single time. Made me feel much better.

I hung a teddy from a noose as well, it was my exs favourite childhood toy. I hung it from the light fitting with his dressing gown belt.
He had a very nice Paul Smith shirt, a blousy black one with pink spots.
The spots were about the size of a 10p.
I cut random ones out of the back, he didn't notice until it was pointed out in the pub by someone.
I also use to swap the majority of his weed for mixed herbs.

Not mine but my parents had an argument when my dad was getting the Christmas decorations out of the loft. My mum then took the ladder away and went to her hair appointment, he was stuck in the loft all afternoon.

I have some annoying very easily spread weeds in my garden that may have found there way into soon to be ex SILS garden.
It’s nothing that can cause damage or harm but just spreads like wildfire

When I lived in a shared house I was driven to distraction by the way my male flat mates never lifted the toilet seat to pee. I gave up moaning about how the seat was always covered in pee and decided to take matters into my own hands. I used to wipe the seat down with the hand towel in the bathroom and made sure obviously that I never used that towel. They never found out, nor did they change the towel much.

I also use to swap the majority of his weed for mixed herbs.

Pssst!, how much for an oz of fresh Oregano?

Living in a block of flats, my upstairs neighbour kept having very noisy and protracted sex and her bedsprings were very squeaky.

At Christmas I carefully wrapped a can of WD40 and printed a label saying "From the neighbours".

I think she might have used it - the bed springs went quiet, at least!

Xh was an arse so on the rare times I playbthe National lottery I use his numbers. If a miracuoccured and I won nothing would ruin the win more for him than having to legitimately share the money with me, or worse if he’s changed them and I won the lot

Yesterday leaving the train station I was aiming for a particular barrier when someone cut me up and went in front of me. I was annoyed because it was the last 'green arrow' barrier so I couldn't just aim for the next one, that had a red cross. Then I realised the guy had overshot. He was standing in front of the red cross barrier putting his ticket into the slot on my side. I maintained my course. His ticket opened my barrier. He stood confused as I breezed past. I even said 'thank you'. When I saw 'Ticket Captured' on the display I did feel a little bit guilty.

I just phoned and made DD walk all the way back home as she was going to High school.

When she got back she found out it was to close the front door that she left wide open. It may be petty but lessons will be learned. She and her friends always walk out without pulling the door closed and I've hit my limit. Pettiness will sort it. I've also started to make younger DD get back out of the car to go and turn her bedroom light off when I find it still on when we're leaving for the school run. Even if I'm standing by the bedroom light switch.

I found the email address of a man who groped me at a business event and signed him up to about 40 mailing lists for penis enhancers / MLM schemes / horny singles / weight loss pills etc

I dislike my colleague (everyone does but unfortunately for me I have to work the closest with him).

He is really anal about his desk set up. Everything is arranged precisely and lined up perfectly. If he is off work I move his notepad and pens very slightly so they are misaligned and adjust the height of his chair.

When dd1 (15) is being an arse, I stand on the doorstep at home time and wave cheerily at the school bus.
She hates it, but I get loads of waves from her friends

The nasty, misogynistic A-hole security officer at work: I configured my Email to flash an alert “MORON ALERT” message every time he sends out one of his badly-written and misspelled information Emails, and send the Email straight to the deleted items folder!
Very petty but makes me laugh!

I was 20 and had been with my bf for 3 years, lived together for 9 months. He woke up one day saying it was over, didnt feel the same. I moved back to my parents. 2 weeks later he started being an arse about the stuff in the flat and eventually me, my mum and my brothers girlfriend at the time went down to the flat to drop the key back and found him there with 2 girls. I went nuts and in addition to all my own stuff I had taken from the flat initially, i realised that actually my mum had paid for alot of items in the flat on her credit card to help us get set up. And when she saw these 2 girls with him she realised that she wanted all her stuff back! So we took everything that she had bought us back. Toaster, kettle, every bit of cutlery and crockery, toilet roll holder, bathroom bin, prints and frames off the walls, cushions off the couch, towels and the microwave

Posted too soon.

Anyway, my brothers gf also dunked his electric razor down the toilet and eventually there was such a disturbance the police were called but sided with me since my mum knew she could prove she had bought everything. I even ripped up the vinyl flooring my dad and bought and put down in the kitchen and also cut a big hole out of the carpet my dad fitted in the bedroom.

It felt good taking all that stuff and dumping it right in the skip. (My mums idea she wasnt really bothered, just didnt want him to have it. )

Not something I've done but was accused of by DH after a tiff...

..."deliberately , maliciously and vindictively ironed my trousers the correct way".

How very dare I. Don't flame me I like ironing. In my defense, I was a tad cross and was just ironing trousers - DS and I like a crease down the front and I didn't notice I'd moved onto DHs.

Still makes me giggle years later remembering his cross tantruming face spluttering out those words.

Well done @zebrarobot! Good on you and your family for that. I think I would do the very same.