To be a bit disappointed with boyfriends presents for me?

[poppyflorrie]

Last night I was changing the bed and my boyfriend had hid my presents for Christmas in the blanket chest.
I am grateful but it's just the usual crap basically.
He's got my 2 fav bottles of perfume,a dressing gown,pair of slippers and a no7 skincare set.
It's the same thing pretty much every year.
I try and spice it up for him but he sticks to the same thing.
Aibu being a bit meh about them?

He's got my 2 fav bottles of perfume,a dressing gown,pair of slippers and a no7 skincare set.

God, what an absolute cunt.

LTB

This year just try to be thankful that you have a loving DB who has already sorted Christmas presents for you and at least buys you things for you, not the house, that he knows you like.

AFTER, a good while after, Christmas say to him that you have started a list of things you’d really like but don’t want to buy for yourself and that you’ll leave it ‘here’ so that if he or anyone else wants to buy you a gift you can have a lovely surprise from you list. Be specific - don’t write ‘Books’ write the title and author etc.

I love giving people gifts. I HATE the angst of choosing something. I hate waste and want the gift to be something they’ll love.

I feel your pain OP. It sounds ungrateful as some women have men who can't be arsed to get fuckall.

But my DH always gets the same stuff too. A DVD, A CD, a box of chocolates, a pair of socks, a paperback book, a puzzle book, and some bubble bath.

Then he says (with a huge smile!) 'now you have something to watch, something to listen to, something to eat, something to wear, something to read, something to do, and something to bathe in!'

He is so chuffed with himself, but I always have to paint on a smile, and wish he would buy me something nice, exciting, or fun - maybe some perfume, or jewellery, or a parachute jump, or balloon flight, or something........

And yeah, I HAVE said something before, because he has always asked me what I want for Christmas. I have given him a list before (as he has asked me!) but he has never gotten anything on it. After 5 or 6 years (of giving him this list that he has asked for,) I stopped, and started saying 'there is nothing I want...' Coz no matter what I said, he would still get that same lot of things.

I sometimes wish he would just give me the £50 he has spent so I could go out and get something myself LOL!

I sometimes wonder if it would be better for us to just get our own stuff (as a few people have said here...)

I have no imagination for gift buying. It hurts my head, hate it.

I tell my DH exactly what to get me every year. Exactly. I leave nothing to chance!

If even you don't know, how is he supposed too? Why not agree you won't buy gifts any more, and maybe put in together and get tickets to a show or something.

This is so weird and unnecessary.. just write a list!

I'm really thoughtful buying my DP gifts, but he plays safe as yours does.

What we now do is set up a wishlist each on Amazon, obviously we don't buy each other everything on there, so they are a sort of surprise when we open them. The lists also gives us ideas for other gifts.

I also ask him to surprise me with something not on the list, to put thought into it. Which he's heeded.

The perfume is good as it will be used. Why don't give him an idea some people are really bad at choosing gifts. I love deciding what gift to buy.
This year like most years when everyone else is sorted with gifts, we usually are left with a token gift each. I'll have my list when the DC grow up.

I see what you mean I wouldn't mind it but it is very boring.

We write lists then just swap but I usually do a surprise as well.

He's just playing it safe and if you don't know what you would like then how is he supposed to? Some people are rubbish at presents, I've got it wrong a few times because he refused to tell me what he would like.

He tells me what he would like at this stage of the relationship and me him after kindlegate.

Talk to your dude and do a wishlist somewhere for next year.

@WinterfellWench sorry to laugh but your post did crack me up! At least you have something to watch

I see what you mean. It's nice but not exciting especially if it's the same every year. Maybe learn from it for next year, you could do themed gifts.
My partner and I do that - something the colour x or something edible.

I think the OP has this romantic notion that her DP is just going to come up with the most amazing gift, that even she didn't realise she wanted, and she will end up loving him even more because he is Champion Gift Giver.

However, in the real world, buying presents is actually quite tricky!

Do you actually get a new dressing gown every year?! What happens to the one from the year before?

DH and I haven't bought each other anything for years, it's very much simpler. If I need a new dressing gown, I will just go and buy one, same as perfume

^ This. We just do token presents. I buy DP a load of treats from the Lidl Christmas range which he eats most of for breakfast on Christmas morning. And he buys me a bottle of gin. Win win.

If we want anything for ourselves, we just buy it when the need arises as we both want to choose the exact item and then shop around for the best price. Once you've done that you done all the work anyway and I don't see any advantage of being bought something by someone else for adults with their own money.

I also really don't see the point of coming up with a list of exact things you want for Christmas, or significant surprises, because then there's a risk of money being wasted. As illustrated by your dressing gown and slippers because no-one needs new ones of these every year.

But well done on probably being the first to do the 'my DH got my Christmas present wrong' thread - it must be nearly a month before the big day. Many people find shopping for presents extremely difficult, I know I do, which is why I'd rather not get involved.

If someone wants something for their hobby, or clothes, tools or anything else they'd like, it's much better that they just buy what they want when they want it, rather than it, rather than expecting people to be mind readers and dressing it up as a 'he bought me this for Christmas' etc.

You need to tell him what you want - and make it clear what you don't want. Nicely. Firmly.

If you've been getting the same stuff - be clear that you don't want it again. If he gives it to you then I'd (after a few days) sit him down and ask why he's given you things you specifically said you didn't want. Tell him to buck up for next year and to listen to you.

Its not being spoiled or ungrateful. A gift you don't particularly want from you Great Aunt gets a smile and an enthusiastic thank you. Your partner needs to care enough about gift giving to give you something you want, not something that's easy for him to give.

YABU and a bit ungrateful and princessy. Just ask for something you want if you're not happy. He's spent a lot on things you like by the sounds of it.

You should be happy he gets you nice bits op. My DP went through amazing gifts the first few years and then one year (when we said no gifts as we are getting some stuff for the house and each other in the Jan sales). He got me a Sega console 🤨 and when his mum asked what I'd like for Christmas he told them an iron (ours was giving up) FFS we only use the flipping thing for his work gear.

He hadn't heard the end of that once since and DMIL has resolved to asking me directly if I'd like/need anything or going for gift voucher to my fav shops.

@baileystime I forgot about the cuddly toy he always gets me too, so I have 'something to hug' (when he's not there.) Daft arse he is.

I do love him, bless him, but if I really want anything, I usually buy it myself!!

I love these threads. Just tell him, people aren't mindreaders! I agree with someone above, safer for men to stick to what they know you like or a wishlist.

I give my bf a list of ideas - he doesn't have to pick anything of it at all but it just for ideas in case he is struggling. All my family do this and share it around to help get things that each person would like.

WinterfellWench, did he grow up Parents who did the, something you want/need/to read/eat, presents? I often think that the fun element is missing.

OP, did you root through the chest to find it all? You should have shut it as soon as you saw there were presents in there

I stopped doing presents with my DH and we had an alloted amount to each spend (shared finances).

After taking my BF to the Guess shop twice to 'look' at handbags and me enthusing over certain ones, to then be given a blender and tummy toning belt, I told him straight and insisted he stuck to my list, as I did with his.

If he's the same over your Birthday, have a conversation about a month before and come to a better agreement over present buying.

So he has bought you the 'usual crap', which includes two bottles of your favourite perfume plus other items? What would you find to moan about if he really bought you crap? Merry Christmas.

I get it too, but mine is a slightly different first world problem.

I get something really lovely and very expensive, BUT, I am low maintenance, I resent spending a lot of money on a gift, I don't want expensive gifts even if we can afford them, I want something much cheaper and nice that I wouldn't buy on a normal Saturday (think box of Hotel Chocolat or Molton Brown foot scrub) that's it. Last year I got 2k diamond earrings, beautiful and a total surprise but what a waste of fucking money and not that imaginative.

I am a bit of a Bah Humbug at Christmas though, it's such a waste of commercialised crap. Cristingle, then Panto followed by a curry with no presents but be my idea of a heavenly Christmas. Or maybe I am just tight?