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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to hate people giving my daughters nicknames?

102 replies

thatblue · 27/11/2018 19:06

I have twin DD's who are 6. Their names are Francesca and Harriet. I absolutely adore their names, and couldn't imagine ever shortening them. I had parents evening tonight and had to tell the teacher multiple times that their names are Francesca and Harriet, not Frankie and Harry. Nothing against anyone who does shorten those names, I just think the names are beautiful, and I'm not keen on the shortened versions. Turns out they even had the nicknames written on some of their books!

AIBU to tell the teacher to just politely tell them to use their full names, or should I just accept defeat and let them go by the shorter names? The girls said they aren't overly bothered.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 27/11/2018 19:08

Let your daughters choose. They're their names.

Blanchedupetitpois · 27/11/2018 19:09

Accept defeat - nicknames are inevitable! It’s hard to control what people call your kids.

FWIW they’re both lovely names!

BarbedBloom · 27/11/2018 19:09

It is up to your daughters

BlueJava · 27/11/2018 19:10

Good luck with them not having shortened names if the girls aren't bothered! I can see why they may get shortened as the long form doesn't easily tend to a short nickname. Personally I gave my twin DS names and shortened them deliberately.

BubonicBudgie · 27/11/2018 19:10

Names always get shortened, unless they are very short then they get lengthened

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 27/11/2018 19:11

You sound a bit like my mum!

How we used to cringe when we would get the full name (and I mean middle names too) yelled out in public.

Let the children decide.

MotorcycleMayhem · 27/11/2018 19:11

Not going to happen I'm afraid, nicknames are normal!

The only way that will work is if the girls themselves ask for it.

RedWineIsFabulous · 27/11/2018 19:11

Absolutely agree with pp.

I also agree that they are beautiful names. However when it comes to shortening them, that’s out of your control.

They’ll go through life and it’s up to them how they choose to be addressed. They’ll also have friends who will naturally shorten their names. It happens.

In the nicest possible way, I think you need to chill a bit over this one.

Original poster
thatblue · 27/11/2018 19:13

Yeah, I do think I'm just going to leave it to happen naturally, I don't want to be that pushy mum embarrassing them with their full names, especially when they get older and think it's 'uncool'.
I just wish the nicknames were a little bit nicer! I'm really not keen on Frankie, I feel like it just doesn't suit her. I might talk with her and ask if she has a shorter name she'd prefer to use.

OP posts:
FairfaxAikman · 27/11/2018 19:14

You can call them by the full names all you like, but if they prefer a nickname then that's what they'll use. DF and his youngest brother (aged 55+) both hate the full version of their names and both go by short versions - despite their parents still insisting on using the full version.

anneofavonlee · 27/11/2018 19:14

I'm terrible for shortening names, I don't even realise that I'm doing it Blush. I think YABU to think they will always be called their full names, if they like a shorter version then why not? I'd be keen to avoid Frankie though so I would perhaps try to get her to like Fran or Cesca.

Singlebutmarried · 27/11/2018 19:15

DD has a name that can be shortened.

We (and most of our friends) call her by a totally unrelated nickname.

She always introduces herself with her full name and doesn’t like it shortened. She doesn’t like ‘new’ people calling her by her nickname either.

Singlebutmarried · 27/11/2018 19:16

Or if you’re a Jilly Cooper fan Chessie.

There was a harriet book as well but don’t think she had a nickname.

Mookatron · 27/11/2018 19:16

Going to school is one of those times you have to accept your kids are going to have relationships with other people that are nothing to do with you. As long as it's not actually rude or abusive YABU.

TulipsInbloom1 · 27/11/2018 19:17

I'm really not keen on Frankie

Well then im afraid this is on you as you really shouldnt have chosen Francesca.

Original poster
thatblue · 27/11/2018 19:17

anneofavonlee I do like Cesca! I'll ask her how I feel about those.

And to everyone else: I hope I haven't come across all high and mighty about this! The title is probably a tad too harsh - if the girls came up to me and asked me to call them the shorter names I'd comply, but since they have no problems with their full names it just seems slightly redundant to be going by two names at two different places.

OP posts:
NotANotMan · 27/11/2018 19:18

They were bound to be shortened at some point and frankie is the natural shortening of Francesca

Mari50 · 27/11/2018 19:18

The shortening is out of your control but it’s not out of your dd’s control and shortening of names isn’t inevitable.
I have a name that can be shortened into several different versions and I was called none of those when I went through school, I was always known as my ‘full’ name.
I decided to shorten it at some stage but not until I was in my late 20’s. I now have a whole load of people in my life who call me ‘full’ name and another group who call me ‘short’ name and weirdly there is no crossover. There is also a version of my name that I absolutely hate, no one has ever tried to call me it more than once.
I will add though that my mum has never had any input into what I’m called - well aside from the initial choice of course.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 27/11/2018 19:18

I’m humming sister sledge now!

littlemisscomper · 27/11/2018 19:19

Cesca can be a shortened version of Francesca.

SemperIdem · 27/11/2018 19:19

That would annoy me and I would correct adults who called them Frankie and Harry. Children on the other hand, as in their friends, is more difficult and not really something you can control.

Doesn’t mean you have to call them by nicknames though!

OutPinked · 27/11/2018 19:20

It’s entirely up to them. My youngest DD has a name that can be shortened and we always did when she was very young because it seemed more appropriate for such a small baby/child. Shes six now and insists on her full name which is fair enough.

It’s their names so their decision.

Original poster
thatblue · 27/11/2018 19:20

tulips I knew that Frankie was the natural shortening, but since we planned on calling them their full names we never even considered people shortening their names! It's not that I hate the name Frankie, it just doesn't sound right when it comes to her having that name. But if it's what she's wanting to go by, I'm not going to refuse to call her it.

OP posts:
Original poster
thatblue · 27/11/2018 19:22

Also, just to add on, I think Francesca's name got shortened first, then since she had a 'boy' name Harriet's came next, since they're twins! Funnily enough, Harry suits her.

OP posts:
ABoozedMoose · 27/11/2018 19:23

I imagine it's come from your daughters. Most teachers call pupils by the names the pupils want to be called.

I have a similar name and HATED it when I was little as it felt too grown up. My friends all called me my preferred nickname. Nowadays I don't care what I am called and have grown into my name.