AIBU to hate people giving my daughters nicknames?

[thatblue]

I have twin DD's who are 6. Their names are Francesca and Harriet. I absolutely adore their names, and couldn't imagine ever shortening them. I had parents evening tonight and had to tell the teacher multiple times that their names are Francesca and Harriet, not Frankie and Harry. Nothing against anyone who does shorten those names, I just think the names are beautiful, and I'm not keen on the shortened versions. Turns out they even had the nicknames written on some of their books!

AIBU to tell the teacher to just politely tell them to use their full names, or should I just accept defeat and let them go by the shorter names? The girls said they aren't overly bothered.

My name was a semi-popular name choice in the 1970s with a French origin. I don't particularly like it and have it shortened to a more easily spelled version, as many people either spell or pronounce it wrong otherwise. The only people who call me by my "real" name are my Mum, Stepdad and my brother.

I’m intrigued as to what your name is Can

My name has 3 letters and cannot be shortened but it's never stopped people lengthening it.

Also my son was called topher at school by his friends because every time someone called him Chris I added topher on the end lol

Do you live in Wales, nokidshere? My countrymen and women love adding an extra syllable, if shortening a name isn’t a option.

I'd just be pleased her friends haven't picked up on 'Frank' to compliment Harry. So it could be worse.

If the teacher is using it I’d assume it came from your DDs themselves.

My girls both have long names, one gets called a shortened version and one gets her full name. Friends and teachers have always gone by their preferences since they were 7/8yo

I taught for several years and we were always told that we were not to use nicknames. Full names only unless a parent came in and said that the child was to be called by the shortened name.

I call pupils by whichever version of their name they choose. Why would you ask the parent? They’re not really nicknames anyway. Nicknames are usually given by peers and a child (or anyone) is unlikely to introduce themselves by a nn.

You gave them the names. Like a gift they now belong to your daughters not you!

You can’t control what people call your children. Most of the names are driven by their friends and neither you nor your children have any say it in (at least that’s how it worked when I was at school). It would be a bit strange if this was teacher led, but by all means ask your children where the names came from. I can’t see how one of them turning up and saying to their friends ‘from now on call me Cesca instead of Frankie’ would work, but maybe their friends are nicer than mine were. Plus it seems like you are more bothered by this than them otherwise they probably would have mentioned it already.

I can't bear the obvious nickname of my name, although it's a perfectly nice and very popular name, it's just not me. No one has ever tried to call me it more than once and I go by an even shorter nickname. Most people I know now presume my full name is something completely different to my actual name! You can't control it but the girls can.

Having said that I am terrible for shortening people's names but will stop if they ask me!

I don't think it's inevitable at all. My name has obvious shortenings, sometimes people I work with try to use a version I particularly dislike I simply continue to refer to myself in person and correspondence by my full name and they soon realise. My son was called his full name until senior school when he decided he would shorten it ( think Christopher to Chris). Correct the teacher, stick to your guns.

"Correct the teacher, stick to your guns."

But they're not your guns, are they?

If the girls don't mind you need to let it go. Ds's name is Jay Stevenston and he gets called Steve by all his friends, that was an unexpected nickname!!! 😂 (Not those actual names but similar).

My family don't shorten names. My mother pulled my teachers, friends and anyone else that tried to shorten my name and I'm glad she did. My FULL non shortened name is what I suit best. Not the diminutive.

I’d say it depends on what they like. They’re their names, not yours.

My DS1 was friends with a Nick and a Paddy. When I met their parents I did wonder who Nicholas and Patrick were.

Lol, my little boy has a long name with a couple of shortenings. We can't stand one of them as it sounds babyish and the other one doesn't really suit him. Had a bit of a battle over the babyish one and now he's nearly three if someone calls him either of the shortened versions he says no it's full name. We did say when he gets older we would let him choose how he wants to be known so will just wait and see.

My nn has two letters and people lengthen it so you really can't win!

I know two Francesca’s and they both get called Fran

This is entirely up to your daughters.

Teachers don’t tend to use nicknames unless the childvthensekves uses it IME.

Given you have quite strong feelings about nicknames I wonder if your children are being completely transparent without about their own preferences.

It seems slightly redundant to be going by two names at two different places.

^^ This is quite an odd attitude. It’s pretty common for people to have different versions of their names for family/friends/work.

My family call me one nickname, my school friends another, if you went to university with me you call me something else again. My husband has a different name for me and my children use different versions of Mum. My colleagues use my full name.

Oddly enough I don’t have any problem at all negotiating all these appellations, and neither does anyone else.

Like PP I am utterly confused as to why you didn't cop on to the fact that children named Francesca and Harriet would end up being called Frankie and Harry by pretty much everyone?

I think both names are lovely, long and short versions. You are going to have to live with this. Much bigger battles lie ahead.

I get known by three versions of my name. Most people who know me through English call me my 'actual' name, those who know me through the local language know me by its varient, and those who know me through DP in either language use the version he grew up with. I love it! My mother, on the other hand, doesn't, and will complain if people use a wrong version (despite the fact she uses unrelated nicknames for me all the time). This annoys me, as it's my name and I feel it's my decision.

What I don't get is. When they start school there is a box that let's you give their preferred names. If you didn't put another name down then the teachers should only be referring to them as the name you had written on their form.
I mean you don't say how old they are now. They might have said themselves to the teacher that they want to be known as Frankie and Harry. If so they have to respect their wishes. It's their names
Also you missed the main rule when choosing names. Make sure you like all potential nns. I mean you're going to look a tad loopy when they're 40 and you're still insisting on their full names

Sorry but Cesca is awful.