AIBU to hate people giving my daughters nicknames?

[thatblue]

I have twin DD's who are 6. Their names are Francesca and Harriet. I absolutely adore their names, and couldn't imagine ever shortening them. I had parents evening tonight and had to tell the teacher multiple times that their names are Francesca and Harriet, not Frankie and Harry. Nothing against anyone who does shorten those names, I just think the names are beautiful, and I'm not keen on the shortened versions. Turns out they even had the nicknames written on some of their books!

AIBU to tell the teacher to just politely tell them to use their full names, or should I just accept defeat and let them go by the shorter names? The girls said they aren't overly bothered.

My name is one of your daughters names. I was known by a shortening my whole childhood but from 16 started introducing myself as the full version, which I now mostly go by. I’ve had other shortenings along the way as well. My family are the only ones who really use a nickname now. But I really like having a name with multiple shortenings, gives me options! You’ll probably find they switch around nicknames as they get older, depending on what fits at the time.

I’d spell it Harri or Harrie though, Harry is a boys name.

I'll never forget one year, a girl I went school with made a Facebook status along the lines of

" thankyou to everybody who wished Paige-louise Elizabeth (not real names but you get the idea) a happy birthday. For future reference though, can her cards or Facebook messages please say Paige- Louise Elizabeth. Not Paige, Not Paige-louise. Her name is Paige-louise Elizabeth. If they don't have her full name I won't be accepting the wishes."

I must say it was entertaining watching it all unfold. The child at school actually introduced herself as Paige, not her 3 names. It was just her mum being one of them parents.

Poor Paige Louise Elizabeth.

I always call my son and daughter by the full names I gave them. Everyone else shortens their names which they don't mind. It used to annoy me but I gave up correcting people and now I just continue using their proper names myself.

As a teacher I would always ask regarding nicknames or shortening names. When teaching reception I'd ask the parents on the visit day, for other year groups I'd ask the children themselves when I first did the register. I think it's very important not to assume any nicknames (especially important when there are children with African names who have a western alternative, for example) and they always had the name on the register on their books.
Did the teacher ask your girls what they like to be called? If they chose those nicknames you can't complain. If they say they don't want those nicknames then you have a case for talking to the teacher about it.

Oh sorry you did say their ages.

I knew a Francesca that shortened her name to Chess, I liked that.

I'm constantly correcting family members on this.

My MIL insists on calling my daughter Lils (Lily). I politely remind her that her name is Lily. I'm dreading it with DD2 (due Feb) as I can already see her trying again.

She also tries to shorten my name. She overheard a nickname that my grandad would call me when he was alive. I pointed out that he is the only person I have ever let call me that and prefer it not to be used and she still carries on.

I think it's weird the teacher shortened them with no input from you or your daughters.

Hard to stop your daughters and their friends shortening them if they like to though.

I've got ds Mason and we chose it because we were convinced it couldn't be shortened but my df calls him Mace! Luckily I'm not too bothered

Dd has a name that can be shortened, nobody does as a rule, a teacher did to me once and I said she prefers full name - which she does, her name isn't shortened version, why would she /me want it so?

I have a dd called Lucy who has ended up getting called Rosie a lot! As long as you call them their proper names I wouldn't worry.

My ds has a name that can be shortened and the shortened version is also a name itself. Most people at school use one name and family use the other. Doesn't bother me at all.

I would never, ever shorten a students name unless it was their preferred name on the register. I find it over familiar. I do know lots of teachers who do.
My DD’s name is Yula and we still manage to shorten that

My daughter and her friend both have fairly ordinary but un-shortenable names. They call eachother a bizzare half-version of their names, because they wanted a shortened name like everyone else.
I think you can't really win in this situation, if your dds like it then all is well.

I really don't like Frankie and Harry together!!!

I would go with Cesca and Harri if both the girls are happy with that.

I can't stand the common abbreviation for name and have learnt you just have to tell people (some repeatedly ) then they copy the full spelling incorrectly off the email but I can cope with that better!! It's not an unusual spelling just like Claire/Clare- you double check rather than assume!

Just going to reply to most people in one message, since a lot of the same points have been brought up!

Their full names are their preferred names, but if friends have started calling them shorter names, it probably just caught on. I didn't consider that anyone would shorten Harriet at all, since in my mind it's already quite a short name, but I come from a family where everyone has really long names!

I also don't have anything against nicknames, I went by a shortened version of my name until uni when I decided I wanted a more 'professional' and 'grown up' sounding name.

I've spoken to them both and they're just so unbothered that I'm not really going to attempt to do anything! I'll just let them have their shortened names at school and carry on calling them their full names unless they tell me to stop. I do like the idea of Harri over Harriet, though.

It sounds so stupid to me, but I can't help but hate the idea of people thinking I just gave my two very girly daughters 'boy' names. Not as a stereotype, but my two can be the most stereotypical, pink girly-girls.

Part of me hopes that when they get to be teenagers they decide they want a more 'grown up' name!

I'm tempted to just ask the teacher if she's alright just asking them what they want to go by at school, just so there's no assumptions.

I could be wrong about this, but one thing I've noticed over the years is that people will subtly alter your name - shortened, rhyming, whatever - when they like you. If you are unpopular then you don't get any name shortening or nicknames at all.

So it's a silver lining, really. And also, you are lucky your dds aren't called "Twinny", a fate surely worse than a dodgy nickname...

Chezza and Haz?

I thought Hattie was the accepted nickname for Harriet ? Did I imagine that ?

My DD1 was called by her nickname all through primary school but as soon as she was in high school she uses her full name

My daughter is Sarah. Didn’t think it could be shortened. Her considerably older sisters called her Squiggs. Huh?

I was also going to say I think Hattie is a lovely alternative shortening of Harriett. Also think Harri is nice.

For Francesca I do like Cesca but if it's too different to the name they've got used to, would Frannie/Franny be any good? Has a nice old-fashioned ring. Or is it too close to Fanny?

I love both your girls names, and their nicknames.

YANBU, but people will do this even if you tell them not to. I don't like nicknames either so I know where you're coming from.

@Timeandtune Hattie/Hatty is one accepted nickname, as is Harri/Harrie.

OP - I don’t think anyone will think anything of the names sounding ‘masculine’ when your daughters are girly. Harri still sounds pretty and Chessie is a lovely and definitely not masculine nn! Nicknames will happen regardless, they always do, you can take a bit of control to lean them in a direction you like more - at least for now!