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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report friend to police......

120 replies

LeilaDarling · 27/11/2018 18:44

Exactly that.
Would you? Wouldn’t you?
Does it depend on the crime/activity?
What would you turn a blind eye to and what wouldn’t you be able to ignore?

OP posts:
abbsisspartacus · 27/11/2018 19:51

It has no context questions without context are frustrating

Bigonesmallone3 · 27/11/2018 19:54

Literally all depends on what they has done!

HoleyCoMoley · 27/11/2018 19:54

Maybe it's just too vaque, it depends on the crime and what you want the outcome to be and perhaps what your own ethical standards are.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 27/11/2018 19:54

There's vague and then there's too vague.

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 27/11/2018 19:54

Vague is annoying.

People can't give any real advice because they don't have a situation to advise on, most people like to help but if you post a sentence with no substance it gets people's backs up.

PigeonFromHell · 27/11/2018 19:55

I think only you can answer that.

GunpowderGelatine · 27/11/2018 19:56

Oh come on OP just tell us the crime

BringOutTheDancingGirls · 27/11/2018 19:57

Are you planning on committing a crime against your friend and are wondering whether they'll dob you in?

Undercoverbanana · 27/11/2018 19:57

Enabling a paedophile - absolutely
Parking on a double yellow line - no
Selling drugs - yes
Cash in hand job - no.

OP, can you at least give us a little bit of context?

BringOutTheDancingGirls · 27/11/2018 19:58

But yeah...your OP is a bit like "shall I wear the red or the yellow dress?"

stressedmum15 · 27/11/2018 20:00

It really does depend what it was and do you have all the facts ?
For example benefit fraud lots of people are reported but sometimes maliciously.
Is it something a friend has confined in you or do you suspect?
Is it petty crime like not paid tv license or serious like murder .
Also is this person a danger to others ?
Answer the above questions then may be able to help .

SumitosIsMyWall · 27/11/2018 20:01

It honestly depends. My friend occasionally drives over the speed limit. I don't agree with it, it's illegal but I haven't reported them to the police.

If they caused an accident whilst driving over the speed limit I wouldn't hesitate to tell the police the truth as I witnessed it.

Whilst I'm a law abiding person I see little value in reporting people let alone friends for crimes that the police would be hard pressed to prove and would have no societal benefit from being reported.

Patroclus · 27/11/2018 20:05

The whole cryptic thing people do on here is infuriating.

Hassled · 27/11/2018 20:05

Context is everything. If she'd defrauded the benefit system - probably. If she'd stolen a pack of nappies because she was so skint she couldn't see an alternative - absolutely not. If she'd assaulted someone - definitely.

LurkingWaspi · 27/11/2018 20:07

Is it the fashion police?
I tend not to be a grass if it is a bad hair day.

LilQueenie · 27/11/2018 20:11

Put simply if the crime is worth reporting would you still want to be a friend? If you are still going to be friends don't report. Nobody likes a back stabber.

Bluerussian · 27/11/2018 20:13

LeilaDarling, it really would depend on what my friend had done. Something violent and abusive I would report, a minor infringement of the law I would not.

sheldonesque · 27/11/2018 20:15

Jeremy Vine is gonna have to talk about storm diana or turkey twizzlers or the advantages of elastic in drawers tomorrow by the looks of it.

pictish · 27/11/2018 20:19

Maybe because without any context or details your question IS stupid and meaningless?

How much is a fish OP?

HomeMadeMadness · 27/11/2018 20:19

Well I think everyone is going to have a line once crossed the friend would be reported to police. I think at the most extreme end (sexually abusing a child for example) we would all report and at the other end we wouldn't (e.g. her toddler stole a mars bar - when she got home she noticed but ate it herself instead of returning to the shop and paying). I guess the interesting bit is the middle - what is the least bad thing they can do to be reported?

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 27/11/2018 20:22

How much is a fish? Grin

OP, AIBU to paint my living room a different colour?

bumblebee39 · 27/11/2018 20:22

Selling drugs is a bit of a grey area with me too...

Like selling weed to an adult with MS who should be able to get it prescribed anyway? Or selling heroin to 12 year olds? Totally different things

So I guess it depends how much I agree with the law
If my friends abusive husband came back I'd bury the fucker with her after she was done killing him. But if she slapped me in the face for doing something bitchy I'd let it go.

Child abuse? Sex offences? Always.

Shoplifting? Although I don't partake myself I wouldn't report it no.
But burglary? Car theft? Handbag theft? Etc. Yes.

bumblebee39 · 27/11/2018 20:23

Even shoplifting depends on the shop and the item. Like, a deodorant from a supermarket? Let it go. Hand crafted jewellery? Different matter.

bumblebee39 · 27/11/2018 20:27

Hate being put in the position where people drink and then drive

Like, I saw how much wine you just put away and your really going to get behind the wheel? So glad nothing bad resulted, I would never have forgiven myself and I would feel differently now and hope that I would behave accordingly.

I hope I'm never round such utter twonks again... But some of them I'm related too 🙄

Brazenhussy0 · 27/11/2018 20:42

Not sure why my question has been deemed “stupid” or “meaningless”.

Depends on the crime and the context. It's (rather obviously) a meaningless question without those details.

It was my first post and will prob be my last!

Oh you wee snowflake get a grip of yourself Grin