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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's rude to critique somebodies chosen baby name?

164 replies

Mothership241 · 27/11/2018 16:06

Expecting a little girl next year and have chosen a name that me and DP love. It's not an unusual or unpleasant name so I've taken offence to a family member constantly expressing their dislike of it whenever they see me and suggesting names that they think sound nicer.

The name we've chosen is Evelynn-Grace.

AIBU to think they're being rude and a babies name choice is nothing to do with anybody apart from it's parents, or am I just being hyper sensitive?

OP posts:
AndThereSaw · 27/11/2018 16:11

You are right and they should not keep repeating themselves as you have made it clear that it's your choice.
People do feel so strongly about names: have a look at the names board on MN. It's nappy bags at dawn sometimes!
Is it the name or your unusual spelling that she (I'm presuming it's a she) doesn't approve of?

Petalflowers · 27/11/2018 16:14

First rule of naming a baby, don’t tell anyone until,the baby is born!

Maybe go back and pretend you have changed your name, and am now calling her ‘insert really awful name’.

BertrandRussell · 27/11/2018 16:15

I would always mention a wrong spelling in real life, just in case the parents have got it wrong-it happens!. But I would only mention it once,

OP- not sure if you know- but that’s not how Evelyn’s usually spelled........

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 27/11/2018 16:15

Yes, it is rude. The polite response to someone telling you their baby name is to say 'how lovely' or something similar. The only exceptions are if the parents have unknowingly chosen a name where the baby's initials spell out something rude/ they have unknowingly made a spelling mistake/thr name had unfortunate connotations they may not have realised. In which case you tactfully draw their attention to it.
The only reason to be outright critical if if they've named their baby after Hitler or something equally ridiculous/offensive.
Not liking a perfectly normal choice is not a good enough reason to be rude.

Fwiw, I like your choice.

GhostSauce · 27/11/2018 16:16

I think it's probably the hyphen. People seem to really hate that right now.

Evelyn is a perfectly normal name.

Picnicinnovember · 27/11/2018 16:18

Yes, very rude. But seriously, there isn't one single name you could pick that every member of your family will like.

FWIW I think your choice is lovely.

Picnicinnovember · 27/11/2018 16:19

Petalflowers is right.

Tell them you've changed your mind and are calling her 'Brunhilda Milllicent Bertha'. They'll soon be begging you to go back to your original choice.

MiniCooperLover · 27/11/2018 16:20

I'm not a fan of hyphenated kids names, but it's your child. That combined with the unusual spelling may be why they are trying to put you off? But they have said their bit and should leave it there.

Returnofthesmileybar · 27/11/2018 16:20

I had this when I was pregnant, dh's aunt said she did like our choice of name, she had kids of her own, we'll say Kate, Josh, Jane (not the real names), so when she said it again I said real nicely "Ah sure not everyone is going to like every name, like I hate the names Kate, Josh and Jane for example, I'd never have been so rude to just say it though", shut her right up the ol cow

pasturesgreen · 27/11/2018 16:20

Yes, it's rude...but you're saddling your unborn baby with a lifetime of 'Actually, no, it's not spelt Evelyn but Evelynn". Expect a close relative, like a gran, to have an opinion on that.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 27/11/2018 16:20

Pretty name, unusual spelling. (2 Ns rather than the usual 1 - might lead to a lifetime of getting her name spelled wrong.) Your relative shouldn't be rude about it if that's your choice.

WoogleCone · 27/11/2018 16:21

I love your choice! My DD is similar.
Were expecting next year and if it's a boy have had the name chosen for years (would have been DDs is she was DS!) But PIL won't stop harping on about how they don't like it.
What on earth do people think they are achieving by being so rude!?

Eenymeeny123 · 27/11/2018 16:23

I learnt this the hard way. Every name i liked when I was pregnant someone had an opinion on and had no problem telling me. If I were you don't bring up the name anymore and only announce the name after your baby is born. Evelyn Grace is a gorgeous name.

AssassinatedBeauty · 27/11/2018 16:24

I think sometimes if you tell people well in advance they might assume that you're actually looking for opinions on it?

I would start telling people you're now not sure and are having another think about names. Then when your baby is actually here, just tell people what her name is. Very few people are so socially unaware that they will criticise the name of a newborn baby, at least to the parents faces.

Cheeeeislifenow · 27/11/2018 16:24

Op will you pronounce it Eve Lynn? Is that why it's spelt like that? Just wondering ai think it's nice..

lola006 · 27/11/2018 16:25

Of course it’s rude and it doesn’t always matter if you leave it until baby is born. When my DD was born (she was our third after 2 DS) DH called his parents, announced she was here and her name was Xxx Xxx and the reply was “oh please call her Xxx Rose’ from my MIL. And then the next day she called and demanded to know if we had registered ‘that name’ yet. It’s a 100% normal, inoffensive, very British name!

seventhgonickname · 27/11/2018 16:25

I told people that my Dd was going to be called Gladys-Emmanuel,of those people who didn't realise I was not serious not one said anything negative though it was a hoot watching their faces as they tried not to look horrified.

AamdC · 27/11/2018 16:25

I think its a lovely name but beware i have a hyphenated name that was quite popular in the 70,s when i was borrn and i have had a life time of saying my names"Sarah-Jane (not actual name ) not Sarah or Jane .

Pemba · 27/11/2018 16:30

Evelyn is nice (it's usually spelled with one 'n'). Grace is nice too. Both popular names. Hyphens are not great, but other than that, what on earth could their problem be with the name?

BuffaloCauliflower · 27/11/2018 16:33

Yes it’s rude, but I also think deliberately spelling a name wrong is unfair on the child and I’d struggle not to question someone doing that to their child. You’re just making life harder for them for no reason. Also Evelyn is pronounced Ever-lyn for a girl and Eeve-Lyn for a boy.

Pemba · 27/11/2018 16:37

No. Eev-lin is also used for a girl (like my late Grandma), born over a hundred years ago. I don't think anyone would call their son Evelyn these days, it is just too feminine.

PinkCalluna · 27/11/2018 16:39

Rookie mistake. Never ever tell anyone the name before the baby is born.

Only the very rudest people are prepared to be rude about the name once it is actually bestowed on the child.

Before the birth lots of people consider it fair game.

EdWinchester · 27/11/2018 16:40

Why have you got an extra N?

Evelyn is a nice name. Most people have an aversion to hyphens imo.

Blanchedupetitpois · 27/11/2018 16:41

I do actually think that is an unusual name, particularly with that spelling, but it’s your choice and very rude of the relative to keep mentioning it.

thecatsthecats · 27/11/2018 16:42

I got back from my honeymoon, and had the following delightful exhange:

HR: What's your name now?
Me: Oh, I'm not changing.
HR: What's your husband's name?
Me: John Smith
HR: You could be 'Thecats-Smith'
Me: I know I could - we covered this before the wedding!
HR: I suppose you know best (grumbly tone)
Colleague: Yeah, I think she does (creasing himself with laughter at how stupid she's being).

Honestly, you just have to learn to bat away these people.