My older brother and I were virtually estranged for many years after a major misunderstanding. He lives 500 miles away so we didn’t run into each other which may have sorted things out earlier. Recently, in the past three years, we have attempted to have a better relationship, initiated mainly by me.
Three months ago, he said casually on the phone ( I phoned him) that he and his wife would be touring in my home area after he had finished a project in which was involved. I replied that they must come to stay with us, thinking that they would come for a weekend/ long weekend. Since then, I waited for him to call me back and let me know what he was planning. On Friday at five pm he called and said they’d be with us in three hours but could stay in a hotel if that was a problem. I politely covered my horror and surprise, assured him that he was welcome, and rushed off to get house ready with help of my husband.
They arrived with an enormous amount of luggage which first made me wonder about what their plans were. We had a very nice weekend, with them paying for dinner one night and us paying the next . I also cooked the first night.
On the Sunday DH asked me , quite understandably, how long they would be staying so I raised the question in as polite a manner as I could. My brother breezily replied that he was in no hurry to return home since nothing needed to be done at home. I’m afraid I was incapable of speech and, I think, simply smiled and nodded in a very cowardly way. His wife, who is lovely, was very apologetic and said that he must let us know their plans. His reply was that there was no rush to go anywhere. They have now been here for five days with no end in sight.
My DH likes visitors for two nights maximum and has then had enough of people for a while , which is how I feel as well, really.
How can I raise the subject again politely? What advice can wise readers give on dealing with this , without potentially causing another estrangement? Thank you.