To think working hard is not even worth it?

[petcacti]

My DS and his husband work every hour under the sun. DS is in the office 8am-10pm very regularly and dsil works fewer hours but still a heck of a lot.
They've both done very well for themselves academically, allowing them to reach their current jobs. DS works in Law, and together they have a gross salary of c£200k

Wow you might think, a huge amount of money. This is London, and so their small 2 bed flat has a mortgage of £800k on it, and so most of their salary goes on keeping a roof over their heads (as do most peoples).

They have no time whatsoever, and often work 6 or 7 days a week, long long hours. Yes they can afford nice things, but the cost of living in London is so high that it's negligible.

AIBU to think working this hard is not healthy, nor worth it.
If I think to dh and I, our situation is work 35 hours each a week, a decent house, no fancy things, but a nice life.

That's the legacy for your DS's generation.
You can't (in the south) buy a house on the income from 2x35hr week salaries. It won't be enough in London, and if you but out of London (like me) you'll add 20hrs a week in commuting.
Living and working out of London isn't any easier, rents and house prices rising and the 'outer' London weighting to salaries isn't keeping pace. You'd never get enough spare for a deposit, etc.

The flip side is that after 20 or so years, they'll be able to sell their London property for a mint and buy most of Lincolnshire; and perpetuate the problem to their own offspring.

You're not BU, but that's how it is for anyone who's under 45ish and wants to live in the south east. I'm Generation Y and this is one reason I'd never live anywhere near London. Because it's in no way, shape or form worth it, and because we can have a nice comfy life on the median income for family size in a regional city.

Becomes more complex when one's family and roots are in London though.

It depends really, some people enjoy having a fast paced career rather than just the money it brings in; and they might not stay in London forever. If, however, someone is working all of the hours just to get by (and not have time to enjoy it!) when they could live comfortably somewhere else, then it does seem a shame. I worked in London for a while and rented a room as always knew I wanted to move jobs and buy elsewhere eventually, but I can see the appeal!

Ultimately if they are happy doing that, it’s up to them. If they find the work interesting and intellectually stimulating it’s probably worth the long hours and hard work. They will have been well aware of what they were letting themselves in for, and you should be proud of them.

On the flip side - I have relatives who tell me that I should stop working so hard, just take an easy job, etc. I can tell you now it’s extremely disheartening to hear family say this sort of thing, when they should just be happy for you.

There are plenty of people that manage to hold down jobs in London without living somewhere that requires an £800k mortgage. If they chose to do that, up to them, they are not being forced into it.

Well unless you want an hour commute on top of those hours..

Sorry, but they are choosing a central London home over any financial space and that’s their choice.

There are plenty of very nice parts of London a bit further out where a 2 bedroom flat is half that, you can get a house in Zone 4 for under £600k.

In a few years they can buy a gorgeous property in the countryside outright and downshift and live the life of Riley

If they have a mortgage of £800K on a two-bed then they live in a very nice part of London indeed - so hard work clearly does pay off, if it allowed you to live in a lovely area you like.

I decided years ago that, as you speculate in your OP, working so hard isn’t really healthy or worth it. I work moderately hard for a very decent salary and own a flat in a nice if not hugely fashionable part of London. I have plenty of time leftover for a social life and hobbies and holidays. It suits me much better. Others are free to make the same choice or to make their own choices as your DS has done.

It depends on what their long term goals are. If they want to retire and escape to the country at 50 then it's fine.

Come up North and work a minimum wage job, with unstable employment. You may have to do 12-14 hour shifts in Care homes.

You'll rent all your life and use food banks occasionally.

I know which I'd take.

Out of interest when all the employment and investment got shifted down South and industries in the North were destroyed, what did you think would happen to living costs?

If they’re in a two-bed flat with a £800,000 mortgage, they’re living in a very nice bit of Lovely bison, they could easily buy a two-bed for half that in a decent area. Any search on Rightmove will show you that. They’ve clearly made a lifestyle choice to be in such an expensive area, so I can’t really have too much sympathy for them.

Well they have the choice do they not to change jobs, move out of London, set other priorities? Only they have the power to change their circumstances.

I mean, for me personally I’m happy on my wage that is probably a 3rd of one of theirs, but I work 9-5 a mile away from home and while it can be stressful it’s not overly so. I work after hours maybe twice a month?

Some ppl really really seem to enjoy working crazy hrs so perhaps that's the case with them. As pp have mentioned, you can live in a cheaper area (even in London) and they haven't made this choice so presumably this is what they want.

But they aren’t throwing the money away on rent. The money pays for their v expensive flat and the equity in it. They aren’t losing that money. And they can move anywhere in the country and upsize/live mortgage free if they so choose in the future.
If you live in the north where houses haven’t gone up at the same rate you are trapped there. I could never to south east now. That option has gone. They don’t have it all bad.

It depends what they're counting as working 8am - 10pm. In the media industries for example, quite a lot of that could be socialising/schmoozing, which is of course work, but lots of people like to keep the lines between work and leisure quite blurred.

Also they clearly choose to live in a Central flat. Great for them, but they know what they're doing. They'd only have to move a zone or 2 out to pay significantly less.

Just depends what they enjoy doesn't it.

Meh.
I live in the south east on about a tenth of that.

My parents just sold their London three bed house for 650k, dp and I used to live in a lovely three bed flat next to a big London park that was worth about 400-450k. It is ridiculous to suggest it’s not worth earning 200k just because they’ve chosen an overpriced place to live.

Well, it's obviously worth it to them, else they'd move somewhere with less insane house prices and take jobs that paid less.

So roughly £60k per year in mortgage payments a year. Would be a lot cheaper to rent centrally, have the freedom and invest the difference (probably roughly the capital element on the mortgage of £30k) more wisely given the state of the London property market.

For most of the years our children were young, at least one of us worked in London. We could not afford to live in London in the kind of home we wanted and so the 1 hour plus commute was our choice.

It is a matter if choice. Choosing to live in London is their choice but comes with a financial cost.

Living outside London and commuting in comes with a time cost.

You pay your money and you make your choice. Literally.

Everyone attacking the DS and SILs choices, they aren't complaining, maybe they like that lifestyle work hard, play hard, retire early. Yes they could get cheaper housing but they don't want to and can afford to be where they are, a property like that will only every increase in value long term. If they are happy with the life they have, great news. My DF doesn't always understand why I'm always pushing for the next promotion, or travelling the country for work as I had a decent wage before. That's not enough for me I like the stimulation and challenge I get from my career and I couldn't bear to do the same job , or work a regular nine to five for forty years I'd be terribly bored and that doesn't make me happy.

There are plenty of people that manage to hold down jobs in London without living somewhere that requires an £800k mortgage. If they chose to do that, up to them, they are not being forced into it.

This. There are obviously plenty of places in London where you can live very comfortably indeed on a household income of 200K. They are choosing an expensive lifestyle, and they are choosing to work very hard in competitive careers.

They could choose to live more economically, and pay off a much smaller mortgage in under ten years. It's totally up to them.

They are very well off, they probably have a nice life with holidays, dinners, socialising and other activities at weekends. Good for them.
If not they can work less or move somewhere cheaper, £300k will buy a nice flat a few tube stops out £800k a mansion. Their choice.