RANT-Feel Broken!

[21andfeingbroken]

I'm 21 years old! I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful little boy. I own my own home (with mortgage) have a nice car and have recently started my own business.

Written down there it sounds great!

However I'm 21 an I'm drowning in debt! Once we bought our house we also got a car and the insurance is killing us! We got a few credit cards that we were because you living off! We can't sell the car because it's on finance!

Every time I see anyone they always ask me if I'm ill because I look like shit! I wear the same clothes every single day to work and at home or out.

I literally own one pair of leggings that I wear every day!

A a jacket, I can't afford to buy a knew hair dryer since my other one broke. So my hair is greesy! I'm borrowing money of relatives just to pay my bills! My business is going no where! My husband is sinking into depression because of all our money worries!

Then we have to buy costumes for ours sons Xmas plays he has two!!

I just feel I'm drowning at 21! Everywhere I look these girls are looking gorgeous! Where as I can't afford to get my hair done! I'm going bald with stress. My once great teeth are getting holes near the gums. I've chewed my nails to the brimZ everyone tells me I look like shit.

I tell myself, it's okay I'm in a good position, my baby is happy and healthy. Me and my husband love each other and our little boy. He is fed and clothes.

But then I look at it properly and me and my hubby are so Misreble! We are so behind on our bills. The next council tax letter we get will be a summon to court! The next car insurance we miss, they will camel it!

We need a car to get to work and take dc to school!

We don't go anywhere or doa nothing!

I've never written this down before and I just needed to get it out!

I've tried getting help but there is non!

I've tried to get rid of the car but no one will take it because it's onfkance. If th me fiancé company take it then we can't get a knew one. We have no savings! We are living everyday like it's the next. We don't eat properly. We don't drink properly. My life just feels like it's falling apart.

I just want to look after my two boys, but I'm falling apart. My job is wearing my down and my life is just a shambles. The only good thing init right now is my baby and my husband! Who I just want to give an amazing life. I shouldn't be feeling this way at 21!!!!!

RANT OVER!

I'm sorry but has anyone been in my situation and actually gotten out of it!?

I can't believe I just posted that :o

Changing how many kids you hve throughout the course of the post isn’t great hun.

Sorry? My boys are my dc and my husband that's just what I call them

I haven’t been in your position, no. Can you get advice from the Citizens advice bureau, or a debt management helper?

Oh oh, and shampoo stops it bein greasy. 9p in some shops

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. You need to sit down with your husband and do a realistic budget. Count every single penny.

Then give a call to Stepchange as the debt seems to be the problem.

Also ‘don’t drink properly’?!

Water is free. It comes out of the tap.

Sorry OP but you have paid it on a bit thick....

*laid

I was! ( kind of!) At 27 I bought my first house and car and ended up.in loads of debt- using my credit card to put petrol in my car to get to work, then taking out a loan to pay off my credit card, then using my credit card some more... D P was in similar debt. We eventually sold both our houses when we got married and used the money we made in them to pay off all our debts, got a more affordable mortgage and never looked bsck! The only debt we have now is our mortgage.

At 21 you are still very young (sorry, not trying to be patronising!) We were lucky to be buying/ selling at a time where house prices were getting silly, and we cashed in on it. But hardship now might reap you rewards later, it's not hopeless!

And yes. I was a single parent.. i got out of it. Just did my tax return for 2017/18 as a self employed human. Maybe you need a change of career?

There is a lot of your post that I don't really understand. Does your DH have a job?

Listen I've been holding this is for a long time, I've not spoken to anyone about it, in proper detail. I've changed my username because I don't want my family to see me on here. I'm getting my feelings out to aloud of strangers on the internet because I feel like my whole body is about burst with stress.

I feel sick everyday, my husband keeps telling me not to worry, but I can't help it. I feel like I haven't smiled in the past year.

I'm not looking for handouts, I just want people to talk too.

I've spoken to debt companies, they say basically. I need to ring my credit cards ect and see where I can go from there. I've got one credit card sorted. So I can pay the minimum payment.

I still feel like the whole world is on my shoulders.

I'm sat in bed listening to my dh snoring away, I can't sleep because I'm worrying about all the bills that's have to be paid at the end of the month.

I'm sorry if some people are finding me annoying, I've just kept this in for so long. It just feels good to talk about it. Even if it's with strangers on the internet under a fake name. Sorry.

Just to clear a few things up.

My husband and I both have jobs, I also have a self employed job on the side (legal).

By mean we don't drink properly, that's al I drink water. I now it sounds pathetic, but I don't drink alcohol, I can't even afford to have a nice glass of milk.

Also ino I can buy shampoo, I can't afford a hair dryer so my hair goes frizzy if I don't dry it properly which makes me look even worse.

I'm so sorry I feel so stupid, I'm complaining about stuff that doesn't matter to most people.

But I'm 21 years old and I feel so disgustingly ugly because I can't even afford to make my self look nice.

What "debt companies" have you spoken to OP? Please try someone reputable like Step Change or (and I'd recommend this first) the Citizens Advice Bureau, you can get out of this you are young it can be sorted out.

Can I just say, I've been here for about three years since I had my son. I've had some great people give me lots of advice over the years.

I frequently change my username as I don't want my family to see me on here. The last couple of months every time I post something there is always some complete idiots.

Who for some reason n want to believe everyone is a troll.

I've also been ripped to shreds because of my not so perfect grammar, spelling g and punctuation.

This used to be a place were people could speak to other human beings about their feelings, stresses and worries.

Not have sarcastic comments made to them. I'm deleting my account because this place just keeps getting worse. Thanks you for the nice posters and I hope you are all well. Thank you

*I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful little boy.

I just want to look after my two boys, but I'm falling apart*

Yeah, the number of kids changed

Bold fail there.

My two boys are my husband and my son I call them my two boys. Why can't people just offer advice instead of looking for holes. My boys are my son and my hubby! I want to look after them both

God I'm done bye

@CheshireChat she was referring to her DS and DH as 'her two boys'

I'm sure if you spoke to someone reputable like Stepchange you could sort out a clear action plan and make arrangements with your creditors.

OP, it sounds like you're having a genuinely difficult time.

I echo the advice to go to a reputable agency and see what can be done about consolidating debts, as much as you can.

You also sound like you've jumpstarted life a bit. This means that it will be harder for you than for most to get this under control--but it also means that you'll be further down the line than some. It probably also gives a useful lesson for the future, like only having one large loan at a time until you can handle more (so, buying a very cheap car that gets you from A to B safely, but that you don't have to pay finance on).

But what's done is done. You have to face it square on and move on.

In the meantime, there are small and simple things you can do for yourself to make yourself feel better. If you genuinely can't afford milk, then treat yourself once a week to a half pint. If your hair is not what you want it to be, buy a decent cheap conditioner once a month (under £3) and leave it in your hair for a half hour at a time, once or twice a week. Get a library card and check out books for free entertainment.

As for employment, if your business is going nowhere, then (firmly) you need to scrap it and get a second part-time job (or your husband does). It will be a temporary thing until you get out of the difficulties you're in.

But the key thing to remember is that this is temporary, and it too will pass. What won't come again is the time you have with your son and this time again in your life--so, as hard as it is (and I'm not being patronizing), do what you can with it.

I'm sorry you're having such a shit time.