RANT-Feel Broken!

[21andfeingbroken]

I'm 21 years old! I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful little boy. I own my own home (with mortgage) have a nice car and have recently started my own business.

Written down there it sounds great!

However I'm 21 an I'm drowning in debt! Once we bought our house we also got a car and the insurance is killing us! We got a few credit cards that we were because you living off! We can't sell the car because it's on finance!

Every time I see anyone they always ask me if I'm ill because I look like shit! I wear the same clothes every single day to work and at home or out.

I literally own one pair of leggings that I wear every day!

A a jacket, I can't afford to buy a knew hair dryer since my other one broke. So my hair is greesy! I'm borrowing money of relatives just to pay my bills! My business is going no where! My husband is sinking into depression because of all our money worries!

Then we have to buy costumes for ours sons Xmas plays he has two!!

I just feel I'm drowning at 21! Everywhere I look these girls are looking gorgeous! Where as I can't afford to get my hair done! I'm going bald with stress. My once great teeth are getting holes near the gums. I've chewed my nails to the brimZ everyone tells me I look like shit.

I tell myself, it's okay I'm in a good position, my baby is happy and healthy. Me and my husband love each other and our little boy. He is fed and clothes.

But then I look at it properly and me and my hubby are so Misreble! We are so behind on our bills. The next council tax letter we get will be a summon to court! The next car insurance we miss, they will camel it!

We need a car to get to work and take dc to school!

We don't go anywhere or doa nothing!

I've never written this down before and I just needed to get it out!

I've tried getting help but there is non!

I've tried to get rid of the car but no one will take it because it's onfkance. If th me fiancé company take it then we can't get a knew one. We have no savings! We are living everyday like it's the next. We don't eat properly. We don't drink properly. My life just feels like it's falling apart.

I just want to look after my two boys, but I'm falling apart. My job is wearing my down and my life is just a shambles. The only good thing init right now is my baby and my husband! Who I just want to give an amazing life. I shouldn't be feeling this way at 21!!!!!

RANT OVER!

I'm sorry but has anyone been in my situation and actually gotten out of it!?

Not sure why everyone is being so mean to the OP, if you don't believe her then report.

OP as above, contact a reliable charity such as Stepchange. What they will do is help you work out your essential expenses for mortgage, council tax, gas, food, clothing, etc etc. Then what's left, they will work out an offer of payment to each of your creditors. It might be £1 a week or whatever, just something. I'm quite sure they do the contacting of the companies for you, they don't make you call them up alone.

This budget they come up with will absolutely include money for things like shampoo.

As for the car, if you consider it essential, and you're borrowing money of family for bills maybe they can instead help you get a really cheap runaround until your back on your feet. I'm not sure if a debt management plan considers a car an essential, someone else may know.

Stop getting in more debt to pay off debts by borrowing off family. Contact stepchange or similar, prioritise your mortgage and council tax.

You can get out of this mess but you need to stop panicking, make a plan and then start to execute it.

The good thing is your 21, so you have your whole life ahead of you. This is maybe rock bottom financially, the only way is up.

You both have jobs. How much do you have left over per month after car payments and mortgage payments? Could you get a debt consolidation loan?

Definitely didn't think of her partner whilst reading that so FWIW, sorry OP.

Honestly, I think you should scrap the business for now, get sorted financially and have some decent savings and then try again if possible.

It does sound absolutely horrendous OP!
But, there has never been more help out there for debt related problems, and that sounds to be at the heart of everything you are saying.
Money can be sorted, debts can be rearranged, but you have to speak to someone urgently.

Make it your priority tomorrow.

Then count your blessings! You love your husband, and your dc, who love you back.

It made me stop and think when you said about your two boys too, but then realised what you meant.

Its the time of night that you've posted; you've posted when trolls post, and understandably MNers are fucking sick of them, so, you kind of take your chances at this tim e of night

You are very young to be in this mess, bless you. However people do recover from such things. I feel you need help from someone who will speak to your creditors on your behalf and negotiate a repayment system. There are ways to do it, I was in a mess years ago and someone helped me in that way. I will be eternally grateful! He was an accountant, a financier and shrewd businessman, he knew exactly how to talk to people and could badger them better than they badgered me. It worked.

The other thing is banks are falling over themselves to give loans at the moment without OTT interest, you could possibly take one out and pay off everything, just have the bank loan. If someone has already suggested that, sorry, I've read page 1 but not 2.

Good luck! Life is still good. Do keep yourself clean though and have a look in charity shops & on ebay for clothes, some are really, really good.

I think it was very brave of you to start a business and well done for it, but you have to be shrewd with it, know whether its going to bring decent returns soon. How long before its paying you a decent wage?

Do your numbers and projections and know whether is worth continuing with or getting a part time job instead?

Yes, there is no need to survive in one pair of leggings, get yourself to a charity shop, and get help with shopping from a food bank, they will also provide things like shampoos and shower gels etc, plus treats!

Sell the house.

Just ignore the troll hunters.

Read the first part again. And again. And again. Keep reading it.

It’s tough, it’s really tough, but if you both put your minds to it, you will get out the other side in one piece!

• both of you work any extra hours you can.
• cut your spending back to the bone. Phone plans as basic as possible, freeview not sky (when the contract is up), cheaper utility suppliers, walk instead of taking the car any time you can, second hand baby clothes as DS is growing, plan your meals etc.

It must be hard at 21 to see other young ones dressed up and hair done etc but you chose to get married, buy a house and have a baby, you have to have different priorities right now. In time the others will be making sacrificies and you’ll be the one with the cash to do stuff that they can’t.

Christmas is coming up, but your baby doesn’t need presents, he needs stability. Cut out all Christmas presents oresents for everyone this year (except perhaphs for younger siblings if either of you have them and think it’s important to buy them something).

Contact Stepchange, they’ll help you.

Be a Team with DH and you’ll get through this.

Can I place a wager on the OP being back after her flounce?

Don’t sell your house, that’s utterly fucking stupid ‘advice’. Cling to your step on the ladder with dear life.

Wtf is wrong with people! Someone is having a shit time and needs to offload and gets nothing but abuse! Jesus! That old saying...if you’ve nothing nice to say, keep ya fkn mouth shut!

OP I hope you can take some good advice from this and not just the negative comments! Some people need to get a life! You can get through this x

Some good advice in here if you read it op.

Speak to step change

Fucking hell, people! At least make sure you're right before you call bullshit.

What a load of nasty responses.

Worries me what happens to a girl in this state when faced with all that...last straw?

...and when I say all that I mean all that ^^

Up there ^

What are your income/outgoings each month? You say it's the insurance crippling you but the credit cards etc all play a part.

It doesn't sound like the business is working so I agree, use the time for a second job for you or DH

Tis the season. Try posting on finance, but if it's as dire as your making out then you've already received all the advice IRL and need to make the hard choices. Your young, flew too close to the sun, made some poor financial decisions and now your "borrowing from Peter to pay Paul". You cannot afford the life your currently leading.

Sell the house as a last resort, pay debts and start again by downsizing or renting. Your young enough that you can start over having learned that you don't need to start your married life with new houses, cars and businesses, but can still obtain these over time while not struggling to keep your finances and sanity afloat.

SELL THE HOUSE,BUY NEW LEGGINGS AND START LIVING AGAIN..PS I DONT EVEN HAVE A PAIR OF LEGGINGS.I ONLY HAVE A LEGGING COS I RIPPED THEM CLIMBING TREES AT 58......LIVE,LOVE AND BE HAPPY

I was once where you are. Call stepchange, they are amazing. It’s a big step, scary and not easy, but one that changed my life. I would very much advise you to check out MSE forum ‘debt free wannabe’, there is some sound advice and plenty of support with people going through exactly what you are. Wishing you all the best.

I’m betting op won’t be back after some of the responses on here.

Which is a shame as there’s some good thought out advice on here.

Grammar and poor punctuation from an otherwise innocent op can really rub posters the wrong way. I plan on instilling it into my daughter. Lesson I’ve learnt today.

The problem's just as desperate, no matter how its written, sad

Wow. I'm so sorry your post met with some really stupid and inappropriate responses OP. You really did not need that kick in the teeth.