RANT-Feel Broken!

[21andfeingbroken]

I'm 21 years old! I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful little boy. I own my own home (with mortgage) have a nice car and have recently started my own business.

Written down there it sounds great!

However I'm 21 an I'm drowning in debt! Once we bought our house we also got a car and the insurance is killing us! We got a few credit cards that we were because you living off! We can't sell the car because it's on finance!

Every time I see anyone they always ask me if I'm ill because I look like shit! I wear the same clothes every single day to work and at home or out.

I literally own one pair of leggings that I wear every day!

A a jacket, I can't afford to buy a knew hair dryer since my other one broke. So my hair is greesy! I'm borrowing money of relatives just to pay my bills! My business is going no where! My husband is sinking into depression because of all our money worries!

Then we have to buy costumes for ours sons Xmas plays he has two!!

I just feel I'm drowning at 21! Everywhere I look these girls are looking gorgeous! Where as I can't afford to get my hair done! I'm going bald with stress. My once great teeth are getting holes near the gums. I've chewed my nails to the brimZ everyone tells me I look like shit.

I tell myself, it's okay I'm in a good position, my baby is happy and healthy. Me and my husband love each other and our little boy. He is fed and clothes.

But then I look at it properly and me and my hubby are so Misreble! We are so behind on our bills. The next council tax letter we get will be a summon to court! The next car insurance we miss, they will camel it!

We need a car to get to work and take dc to school!

We don't go anywhere or doa nothing!

I've never written this down before and I just needed to get it out!

I've tried getting help but there is non!

I've tried to get rid of the car but no one will take it because it's onfkance. If th me fiancé company take it then we can't get a knew one. We have no savings! We are living everyday like it's the next. We don't eat properly. We don't drink properly. My life just feels like it's falling apart.

I just want to look after my two boys, but I'm falling apart. My job is wearing my down and my life is just a shambles. The only good thing init right now is my baby and my husband! Who I just want to give an amazing life. I shouldn't be feeling this way at 21!!!!!

RANT OVER!

I'm sorry but has anyone been in my situation and actually gotten out of it!?

I cannot believe some of the comments on this thread. You sound desperate. I agree with pps. Step change, food bank and if you haven’t already, google recipes for cheap meals with few ingredients.

If you sold the car, how would you or your dh get to work? Would getting a job closer to home help? Is that possible?

I really hope your respective parents aren’t comfortably off and leaving you in this situation. You’re so young. Do they have any useful advice?

Stepchange or Christians Against Poverty. Do NOT pay a debt management company. You can sort this

Sounds fake but ok.

Wow, there are some ARSEHOLES on this thread. Are posters only worthy of advice now if they have perfect spelling and grammar? Being a bitch to someone because they don’t express themselves perfectly is a sign you have a problem, not them.

OP, I would speak to StepChange and also look into debt consolidation. Plus, have you done a strict monthly budget? There will be a way out of th for you, you just need advice.

Please ring StepChange, if you sorted out credit cards (and then cut them up) it will make you feel much better. Then I think someone has to get a second job, there are lots this time of year so look at it as seasonal tonget you through this time. Even both of you could do something - one could work one night a week, one could work one day at the weekend. It sounds like that extra £50-£80 a week would go a huge way. Just have a look today, it would make you feel much better I’m sure if you had just something else coming in.

How much was the car? Can you give it back and buy a cheap one? You don't need a really nice car. Is the mortgage in both your names?

I DONT EVEN HAVE A PAIR OF LEGGINGS.I ONLY HAVE A LEGGING COS I RIPPED THEM CLIMBING TREES AT 58

Leggings are £3!

You have overstretched yourselves and need to downsize. It doesnt sound like tinkering about with credit cards will help. Def contact proper debt advice services and unless your business is really dragging in the dosh, put it on the backburner and concentrate on sorting the other basics out.

Shame about a lot of the replies...

OP, I don’t have much to suggest but Christmas play costumes can be an issue for lots of people! Can you post on fb that you’re after an age 3-5 XX costume (shepherd, wiseman, whatever ds is), or ask family for parts of the costume. Promise to return it clean.

*ILoveTreesInAutumn ...you are fucking stupid. Give *YOUR advice without being an asshole to others!

Poster if you ever come back obviously go to debt advice ie citizens advice etc. I'm sure you can do an income and expenditure form to see where you can cut down.

If you have to, sell the house if there just isn't enough to cover your outgoings. If you cannot pay your council tax and you are building up credit card debt , you are going to lose the house anyway. Life's too short to be up in the middle of the night worrying about debt!.

I've been here many years, and the nastiness on this thread is shameful. If you are still reading op, other boards are much less nasty than this one.
Also try Money Saving Expert for ideas to help you.

OP...go to moneysavingexpert and do a statement of affairs. Post it on there. It includes all your in and out £. They will scan through, see where you can make savings etc and advise you properly.

Unlike this shower of shit that trolled you earlier

It is proper hard when you have no money. I've been there. Take care.

why are people being such cunts? even IF op is a troll would it kill you to give advice.
firstly I'd say you need to trade your car in for something smaller older and cheaper so it reduces your monthly payments. a dealer will still do part exchange if it's got finance left on it. I know pp mentioned moving but sometimes it's cheaper to own. our mortgage is less than rent round here.
ask family for a new hairdryer for Christmas- you can get them for cheap. also leggings or money for clothes. buy from charity shops and try looking in there for your son's costumes. how long has your business been running? you usually make a loss the first year and break even the second because it takes time to build a client base

Some of the bitchiness is absolutely appalling!! The OP clearly is desperate for help and advice, not snarky comments and a kick when she's down.

It must have taken guts to write it all down OP, and don't let a few nasty people stop you from getting help. I hope you do return to MN as most people are willing to help and give great advice.

Go to a food bank and Citizens Advice. You can turn your life around - it will be hard and may take a while, but you'll get there.

OP your only mistake posting here was doing so on this board. Try Chat or Money where people aren't obliged to be nasty fucks. Good luck

OP, you've had some great advice here. Contact CAB or CAP to get constructive advice. It all feels like a tangled mess at the moment, but with help you can prioritise and start untangling.
Have you got space to take in a lodger? Is it worth continuing with the business? Would it be better to up your hours in your second job? Is there a likely drop in childcare costs soon?
Don't despair. Get quality, free advice. Take that advice.

Cut the credit cards up, for a start. Using CCs when you're skint is just digging that hole deeper.

Can you swap your "nice" car for one that's in a lower insurance group and, hopefully, cheaper to run? (A colleague of mine has cars on finance and he's always chopping and changing them). Or even default on the loan and let them take it back, and buy an old banger. You ^could^ even manage without a car for a while (shocking notion, I know, but people do it). Get a bike (I got a bike from the tip, for a fiver a few years ago) if you need to get about. Be one of those eco-warrior mums with a child seat on the back!

Council tax is a priority debt, so make that your priority. Most councils appoint bailiffs as soon as they have a court order and those bastards are ruthless.

Can you take a "payment holiday" on your mortgage to give you a breathing space? When we had a mortgage, we could have 3 months a year when we didn't make payments.

Cancel everything that isn't absolutely essential: tv packages, phone contracts, Christmas, ANYTHING that costs money. You need to learn to live like a pauper.

Don't buy anything that is non-essential. No new clothes, no make-up, no haircuts, cut meat to the minimum, no magazines/books, alcohol.

Buy all your household stuff from "basics" ranges, basic bleach, fabric conditioner, bog roll etc. Don't use anything that isn't multi-use - eg a pack of dishcloths instead of wipes - with a few exceptions (bog roll!).

Go to a food bank for basics.

Get more money: get a Saturday/evening job (you should both do this, one at home with DC, one out at work, except when you;re both sleeping), sell stuff you no longer need, get a p/t job and do your self employed work around it.

You can get through this. It'll be shit, you'll be miserable, but you won't lose your home. And you'll learn some important lessons, that will last the rest of your life.

One of those will hopefully be that a nice car isn't worth risking your home for.

Oh, and the hair: wash it in the evening, and leave conditioner on overnight (put a towel over the pillow), rinse out in the morning. Tames all but the frizziest hair.

Wow, some people love a good hanging.

OP I hope you're still reading, but I don't blame you for no longer replying. Change your username and post again on Credit Crunch.

Can you ask for a mortgage holiday? Most will give six months. Then use that time to sort finances.

Your son must have grown out of a lot of clothes. Can you sell them on a local Facebook group? Toys and baby stuff too?

You say that your business isn’t going anywhere, what do you do? Can you look for full time employed role? With benefits such as childcare vouchers etc

Also OP - do some self care, force yourself to do it, because it will give you some energy to keep going (can you tell i speak from experience? ;) )

Have a bath, do your hair. Hit the charity shops - i found an IDEAL pair of trousers for £3 the other day! Clean, with a new wardrobe you will feel more in control and capable!

There is horrid women on here, I'm in debt too as a single parent.. I pay back £5 per week of all my debts, and there's a few. I don't have credit cards or anything. Mostly just phone contracts, unplanned overdraft and car insurance

Another one recommending Stepchange: www.stepchange.org/how-we-help/debt-advice.aspx

Have you run your finances through somewhere like:

www.turn2us.org.uk

or

www.entitledto.co.uk

I feel so sorry for you it is very tuff for young people to start out these days. First of all you need to get in touch with all the people that you owe debt to and explain your situation then book any appointment with citizens advice also contact the council maybe you can get a rebate on your council tax!! Also I thinks it’s time to sit down with both your parents and your husbands family and tell them what a mess u are in. Im positive they have no idea how bad things are and they will hopefully try and help. Also get in touch with a charity called home start they can often help young family’s who are struggling. Also if you have health visitor maybe you could tell her and she maybe able to tell you about local charity’s that help people who are struggling. Also don’t be proud food banks are there to help all types of people. I wish I lived near you would come round this morning and drop u of a hairdryer. I really just want to give you a big hug it’s just horrible being in such a financial message you are still just a young girl and you need help

arranbubonicplague

stepchange would be a good idea to contact them

Can I place a wager on the OP being back after her flounce?

Hopefully she will come back, because posters aren't all beings dicks like they were on the first page.