RANT-Feel Broken!

[21andfeingbroken]

I'm 21 years old! I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful little boy. I own my own home (with mortgage) have a nice car and have recently started my own business.

Written down there it sounds great!

However I'm 21 an I'm drowning in debt! Once we bought our house we also got a car and the insurance is killing us! We got a few credit cards that we were because you living off! We can't sell the car because it's on finance!

Every time I see anyone they always ask me if I'm ill because I look like shit! I wear the same clothes every single day to work and at home or out.

I literally own one pair of leggings that I wear every day!

A a jacket, I can't afford to buy a knew hair dryer since my other one broke. So my hair is greesy! I'm borrowing money of relatives just to pay my bills! My business is going no where! My husband is sinking into depression because of all our money worries!

Then we have to buy costumes for ours sons Xmas plays he has two!!

I just feel I'm drowning at 21! Everywhere I look these girls are looking gorgeous! Where as I can't afford to get my hair done! I'm going bald with stress. My once great teeth are getting holes near the gums. I've chewed my nails to the brimZ everyone tells me I look like shit.

I tell myself, it's okay I'm in a good position, my baby is happy and healthy. Me and my husband love each other and our little boy. He is fed and clothes.

But then I look at it properly and me and my hubby are so Misreble! We are so behind on our bills. The next council tax letter we get will be a summon to court! The next car insurance we miss, they will camel it!

We need a car to get to work and take dc to school!

We don't go anywhere or doa nothing!

I've never written this down before and I just needed to get it out!

I've tried getting help but there is non!

I've tried to get rid of the car but no one will take it because it's onfkance. If th me fiancé company take it then we can't get a knew one. We have no savings! We are living everyday like it's the next. We don't eat properly. We don't drink properly. My life just feels like it's falling apart.

I just want to look after my two boys, but I'm falling apart. My job is wearing my down and my life is just a shambles. The only good thing init right now is my baby and my husband! Who I just want to give an amazing life. I shouldn't be feeling this way at 21!!!!!

RANT OVER!

I'm sorry but has anyone been in my situation and actually gotten out of it!?

And please please book a dentist appointment!! That’s the only set you have got!!

My first comment wasn’t nasty at all, I’m actually embarrassed at the onslaught the OP has received.

If you are still reading OP, I hope you take some of the advice on board and haven’t been put off posting here.

21 is so young to be coping with all of this and I can understand why you feel it's too much of a mess to be sorted but there are solutions and people who can help.

I hope you take on board some of the advice given.

Do you really, really need the car? If you can't sell it but the insurance is costing hundreds because of your age I would carry on paying it off but take it off the road and get rid of the insurance for a while until you are able to run it again. That would mean you couldn't ever risk driving it but it would release you from one of your biggest outgoings.

Hi there OP,
You've had some good advice here, fortunately. It would be lovely to get your situation more organised before Christmas, we're sure. It's lucky that little children will be happy with very little.
We hope you don't mind, but we have a post that we put on threads in circumstances like this, just to remind everyone that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been around. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask everyone to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are - and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong.

I think we should assume people are genuine until we know for certain that they are not. I'd rather a troll got away with fooling us, than a genuine poster in distress gets treated like shit in a place she came to for help.

Hi,
Get all your bills together and contact Stepchange they'll go through a full income and expenditure with you and work out what is the best way forward. If your outgoings far exceed your income there are options available, things such as Debt Relief Orders or Individual Voluntary Agreements, neither should be taken lightly and will impact your credit rating for the next few years but they work in the right circumstances. The most important thing is to take action now before things spiral further out of control.

Go through your house and see is there anything you can sell, if you have cable TV contact them and either cancel or go down to the absolute lowest package available, internet only would be your best option. Do a check on your car insurance is there a cheaper one out there? Every time you buy something get a receipt, sit down each day and write down what you've spent, was it necessary? You'll be amazed at how much we spend each day without even realising it. Do a meal plan for each day of the week, including lunches for work, when we don't plan we spend more. There are loads of budget meal recipes out there and they do make a massive impact on the weekly food shop, make a list before you go and don't buy anything that is not on the list.
Have a look on Freecycle and Facebook there will be local people offering things that they don't need any longer free if you are willing to collect them, ask if anyone has a hairdryer they don't need, I guarantee you someone in your local area will be happy to help.

Good Luck

OP - I' not being goady, or horrible, but your post reads as if you don't have a high level of education, so I wonder how you will manage your own business? How will you do Tax returns, or Invoices to clients? Going to an Adult Education centre could help here.

I really think you'd be better off getting a job, rather than 'starting your own business'. At this time of year, plenty of shops/Postoffice jobs are going, Part Time or Full.

I don't think you have the money to be starting your business right now, that adds a lot of uncertainty even to people with deep pots.
I'd buy it on a back shelf and get a full time job with a regular salary. I would speak to CAB and Step Change to get your debts consolidated. If it's really bad you need to sell your house, pay off debts and buy a cheaper house/flat. Just for a few years til you're back on your feet.

You shouldn't be getting holes in your teeth if you are using toothpaste and only drinking water...

You need to bring down your spending. Write down EVERYTHING. And figure it what can go... even if it's things like squash or branded condiments.

That wasn't the MN message I was expecting to read. I thought it would be the one that says if you doubt the veracity of a poster, don't troll hunt, just report.

AIBU is the worst place to post for advice IMO.

Can I also just add to my earlier post that if your business is something like younique just walk away from it, I don’t know anyone who makes real money from this sort of thing (and a few friends have done lots of these different companies) so a real second job is going to be a much better, reliable income.
Please come back and talk.