People too 'busy' to text back

[BerriTerri]

A simple question is either

• read instantly then takes hours for a reasonably urgent response such a response to ‘do you still need me or pick A up from school today was the car fixed?’ (and whenever you see them they are on their phone...)

Or

Those that just don’t bloody reply and then waft around with the ‘sorry I was sooooo busy this weekend’. Like anyone is that busy they can’t text inside 48hrs (I have 5 kids, work, home Educate and like them I still manage to waste time online let alone text)

I’ve seen it tbh as reason to pretty much drop contact/ friends when it’s repeated. But then they raise it like I’m funny???

Are people just really odd or rude nowadays. Are all these people on Mumsnet and can explain...?

I have a brain like a sieve and if I don't reply straight away it just goes completely out of my head (I do feel awful when I realise and always text to apologise).
Yesterday I heard my phone go in my pocket while I was rushing up to school in the pouring rain! Needless to say it didn't get a reply until later that evening when I checked my phone.

Frankly I wish people would only phone in emergencies.

Ah, I miss phone chats. (I don't miss the £200 phone bills though )

I agree. Nobody is too busy to send a bloody text. It takes 5 seconds to send a quick text back to say 'yes or no,' or 'bit busy now, but will speak to you later this afternoon/evening.' To read your message and ignore it is really rude.

I have had people read my text, and then not text back with a response, and then make excuses for not texting back, like saying they were busy, in a meeting, didn't have time! (they read my text though!) And yet I have seen them posting on twitter, and uploading to Instagram within 5 minutes to half an hour of them reading my text. Not THAT busy then? Just can't be arsed to text me back.

Yes it annoys me, and quite rightly too!

As a few people have said, it smacks of self importance, and trying to give off this 'I am soooooo busy!' kind of vibe. Yeah busy taking pouty selfies and uploading them to Instagram!'

Yeah there are occasions when people genuinely forget to reply, but the vast majority of the time, it's because they can't be arsed, and they think their time is more important than yours.....'

YANBU - it's just plain rude.

YANBU
If there's something important to be answered people can sure find 20 seconds to answer it, it's ridiculous to claim you are that busy. 20 seconds.
You need to stop being on call for favours OP.

They just don't care. Too busy. You sound successful , don't worry about them. They are busy collecting stones.

I'm really bad for reading the preview of a text and then putting my phone down, and I either think I've replied or I just forget about it. Two days later I'll notice it and apologise.

If the message seemed urgent from the preview I would text back immediately but sometimes I just can't be bothered getting into a casual back and forth chat. If something was life or death I'd expect a phonecall.

They may not be "busy", but more like me: hate the idea of others thinking they are available 24/7. I often even forget the phone at home. The world didn't end before smartphone was invented, people somehow managed appointments, friendships etc.

You see, not everyone is fumbling with their phone all the time and is the subject of an article about "digital detox", i.e. their "diary" how they lives without a phone for 3 days.

I get where you’re coming from OP

People spend so much time on inane things and I just think if they can’t be bothered to reply it means everything else is more important

I have a friend who doesn’t seem to be replying for weeks at a time. I’ve decided I won’t be texting her again.

OP in your first post you put down 2 scenarios. As far as I can see, everyone completely agreed with you about replying when it’s the situation you were talking about (school pick up). You then said about people not replying but you know they’ve read it & are always on their phone. I think that’s the bit most people have replied to regarding reasons why they may not reply immediately!

I always have my phone with me and do use it a lot. Quite often, if I’m in the middle of something, if I get a text in I will quickly open it and read it to make certain that it’s nothjng urgent that needs an immediate reply and then go back to what I was doing fully intending to reply once I’ve finished and can do it properly. However sometimes I’ll just completely forget! Other times something else very urgent might pop up. Or I’ll get distracted at work or with the kids. When I’m at work I’ll always read a text - but if I’m in a meeting I can’t always reply straight away. But you would have seen that I’d read it & wondered why I hadn’t responded!

To say you’re thinking of re-evaluating a friendship because someone doesn’t reply straight after reading is a bit odd quite frankly! Sure, re-evaluate the favours if they can’t be arsed to reply, but not a whole friendship over the other type of texts with slow responses! You, or someone else said it’s about them being controlling by not replying - you come across as the controlling one though by demanding you take priority over anything else and expecting an immediate response. I suspect it’s more the control being shifted away from you is what is really the problem.....

I have a friend who has claimed for over 8 years her phone is shit and she doesn’t get messages, has no signal etc. To be fair if I walk in her house my signal on my phone does disappear. However, 8 years worth of phones that don’t work? Unless it suits her to answer... or to contact me...

Flakey people don't reply to important texts e.g. about arrangements, favours, etc.

They are busy collecting stones . Indeed.

People who "think" they know me would be surprised to learn that I am quite anti social and love to be at home as much as I can and love my own space ( apart from when the dc are home and dp ) and I hate my phone!

I literally feel sick when it rings. I have an elderly dgm who is very sick and both dc are at school so need to be contactable etc but I hate chit chat.

I order a product from a lady ( think candles ) and she's lovely but when I message her with my order it's constant messaging for an hour. Puts me off ordering as I just cba with the messaging and xxx after every one.

When I'm actually socialising I'm good fun and chatty, actually I'm chatty 24/7 but I mean I'm not quiet or introverted as such but I just hate this modern "why didn't you answer your phone?" all the time.
Like we don't have a life.

When I go on holiday I leave my phone at home. First time I did it was accidental, my dad was taking us to the airport and arrived early so it was a rush. Oh the freedom

no-one is that busy no
They just choose not to answer.

Like anyone is that busy they can’t text inside 48hrs

I have a job that frequently means that I can't text within 48 hours. I'm either working on something massively urgent or sleeping (as short as humanly possible to be able to function - I'm talking 3 or 4 hours sleep) and then back at work.

During these periods it only the work that gets any attention at all and quite rightly.

I don't work like this full time fortunately as I think it would kill me but if I'm in that phase I really am too busy to respond to anything. I know a number of people who have similar jobs.

It does happen that you can be really too busy to do anything but deal with an urgent work situation.

I am a LP with a busy job (and am always knackered!) so if I get a message when engrossed in something else or about to drop off I quite often forget about them. And if someone texts me and I know they want a text conversation I will probably not text back - I just can't be arsed with going backwards and forwards about Strictly

Things I’ve learnt from this thread:

1. The number of texts I receive is abnormal, 1-3 a day, sometimes none. Other people live in a bombarded world. I’m neither glued to, nor stressed by my phone.

1. People overthink things I’d never have guessed

1. Many people are actually a bit self-important and do think their time is very precious or they chose to ignore to make a point

1. People use texts to chat in lieu of phone calls, when I’d thought of them more like the old pagers

If anyone wondered, the child I didn’t collect missed their class with no one to take them.
Felt a tad mean