People too 'busy' to text back

[BerriTerri]

A simple question is either

• read instantly then takes hours for a reasonably urgent response such a response to ‘do you still need me or pick A up from school today was the car fixed?’ (and whenever you see them they are on their phone...)

Or

Those that just don’t bloody reply and then waft around with the ‘sorry I was sooooo busy this weekend’. Like anyone is that busy they can’t text inside 48hrs (I have 5 kids, work, home Educate and like them I still manage to waste time online let alone text)

I’ve seen it tbh as reason to pretty much drop contact/ friends when it’s repeated. But then they raise it like I’m funny???

Are people just really odd or rude nowadays. Are all these people on Mumsnet and can explain...?

Some people don't have mobile reception at home at all.
Its not always rudeness , laziness or ignorance

I do resent the text message.

I now have 5 inboxes: email, wattsap, messenger, instagram and phone sms.

Its a bloody ball ache.

I am too busy sometimes for a whole week to check and administrate all my inboxes.

My friends know this and now generally don't text me. Thank goodness.

😂 maybe my issue is actually a lack of popularity I never realised, when everyone else is living a constant party in comparison.

For me to check and administrate all my inboxes would be pretty quick!!!

I like texting over a call, however I always want to concentrate and focus on the message so quite often I will leave it until I am not busy (with full time work, toddler and running a house) I regularly say 'sorry for late reply - it's been hectic'
Most people I know have busy lives so understand.

I think the reverse to you OP, i find the latest trend for people being super contactable all the time really annoying!

My time is precious to me and belongs to nobody else! I will reply to texts as and when I get around to it, if it’s an emergency then ring.

So Bum how do you communicate? Do you call everyone?

I suppose the bottom line is, maybe to be perceived as needy, if I get my kids phone out and there’s a text I’m generally happy. If it’s an offer of a favour I’ll smile, a meet up I tend to think ‘oh lovely’. I’m not overrun at all, but I have enough to make me happy. I don’t find myself hugely stressed about ‘my time’, it’d just do something like reply after the film ended or say ‘get back later xx’. I do those 99% of the time feel happy enough when I get texts and smile, I don’t see it as admin. It’s just friends or family making contact, and I like them! I don’t mind the odd other type of text, such as ‘what time is dance’ I guess as I don’t feel at all I overwhelmed or annoyed

only have landline and if theres no i.d showing i don't answer it/leave a message.
need to text me? use the function on your phone and send email.i check it 1-2 times a day.
www.techwalla.com/articles/how-to-send-a-text-message-from-email
don't need an electronic umbilical cord

Yanbu. Exh does it on purpose - the reading but not replying. And yes always on his phone. It's ignorant

It’s RUDE not to reply to a text asking if you need your child to be picked up (or similar). If that person is always that rude our friendship probably wouldn’t last or I’d adjust my own behaviour. I wouldn’t ask if they needed help, they’d need to ask me if they did ‍🤷🏻‍♀️

A lot of the rest of it makes you sound very ‘brittle’ and Hyacinth Bucket like.

I don’t think it’s needy of you to expect a reply within a few days.I feel the same way,I have a busy life and sometimes it’s inconvenient to text back but I do it because I don’t want friends to feel like I don’t care or they are not important. It doesn’t work the other way round though!

I think if someone can’t be bothered to move their thumbs a few times for you the next it’s probably a sign they don’t really care much for your friendship. I had a friend who would take weeks to reply to the simplest of messages. Seriously, no one is that busy!

Yes it's annoying. I don't mind if it's someone who doesn't use their phone much, like my parents. However when it comes from people that I know constantly have their phone in their hand, it's more annoying. It's like when I'm with them, they ignore me and are replying to texts. When I send a text, they can't find time throughout the next few days to respond, not even two seconds while sitting on the toilet.

Another issue is people who say "oh I don't check my phone", and take days/weeks to respond to a text like "have you got that money you owe me". Seems fair except when the text is "I've got that money I owe you" the reply comes within seconds. What a coincidence right?

Londonrach really? No mobile? So tempting! I'm going to leave it in a drawer at home and see if the sky falls in! Hate taking the bloody thing out when I'm walking the dog. I want to look at trees not screens!

It does my head in when people don’t reply. Fine if you ignore me for a few hours but I want a reply by the end of the day at least. Most of the time i just need a yes or a no answer. I’m not much of a talker on the phone and prefer to text. I’m currently waiting for a friend to reply to my message I sent over a week ago. She’s not even read it but I see her on watts app all the time. It’s the same with others, constantly on and off watssapp during the day but they don’t have a second to reply to you. Now I’m going to have to call my friend and endure an hour long conversation that I could’ve avoided .....

It's like when I'm with them, they ignore me and are replying to texts. When I send a text, they can't find time throughout the next few days to respond, not even two seconds while sitting on the toilet.

OMG yes exactly what happens to me aswell!!

I despise people that call in response to a text. My exh does this all of the time, he almost never responds with a text and it drives me nuts. I will literally text him something about drop off time and instead of replying yes that’s fine he will call me .

That was a bit of a tangent . No one is too busy to text, texting is designed to be quick and simple.

When people call it is obviously convenient for them. My DH phones when he is in the car ie bored and waffles on tediously. I always regret answering as when are you doing nothing ?? It feels like never in my case.

"I despise people that call in response to a text."

Me too. If you receive a text, you text back, unless there's something complicated to explain.

You need to be more strategic in your texting OP:

“do you need me to pick Jenny up? If I don’t hear by 11am I’ll assume “no””

I get lots of texts everyday, friends, work, family etc. I answer them in priority order.

Your example text I’d have prioritised but lots of other texts friends send me inevitably have to wait until I’m free to think about it, checked with DH or the kids etc.

I have a friend who lives a long way from me and hardly ever texts back the same week never mind the same day. I had six unanswered messages. Then I'm at about another four after a message in between. I've given up. 30 years of friendship and I've no idea what's going on. Might send her a message to check she's okay today and see then how I feel if I get an answer

Hyacinth like! I’ll take that after a life of being ‘a bit rough’ 😂

My ex did the call thing in response, it was a smart guy in conversation and hid how bad his literacy levels were. He was borderline functionally illiterate. I honestly didn’t know for years, he learned to read in adult classes reasonably well once he was open. Really nice guy, somehow he managed work with knowing some key words, asking, delegating etc

I read, if it's important TO ME then I'll reply otherwise you have to get in the queue behind other people who have 5 kids and blah blah blah....

Butterfly cookie yes, you know what I mean. They are on their phone to an annoying level, miss chucks of conversation face to face because of it yet don’t reply at other times.

Ok,

So this is normal:

Friend (out the blue yesterday tea time): OMG I think I have flu! I feel like death

Me: oh no, do you want me to have xxx tomorrow if that helps?

Friend: (carries on WhatApp group chat we’re both in for some time about flu and doesn’t bother to reply)

Next day: 8.20am, 20 min notice ‘can you get xxx in the car, he’s got his instrument, still rough’

I’m not replying following this! It’s an eye-opener. I feel less pressure at least...