Why did my birthday become a horror?

[Ilikeknitting]

So everyone has been making a big fuss about my birthday, it was a ‘biggy’ , and it ended up being a fiasco.
Dh had booked a ‘romantic getaway’, before we even arrived at our hotel we argued, more than once, and Dh said “do you want to go home” and I said “YES”, so be honest, would you have said the same? I mean, who would have said “ er, no, even after arguing I want to go to our ‘romantic’ destination “
Ordinarily, my husband and I have an amazing relationship , but one argument and he drove me home! and he’s struggling with why im being shitty it was my birthday ‘treat’ and it started so well, but I have been promised so much, I really don’t want to share a bed with him tonight. Our hotel room is empty, it’s in a bloody castle! I mean, a fucking castle!.... , I’m home and got Strictly on telly, that’s not what was promised, even this morning he was saying “ tomorrow morning you are in for a treat”

Yes, today was wonderful, and I had ‘forgiven’ him. Until the final bloody argument. He threw a strop at 9am because. I asked him to put the laundry on the clothes horse whilst I fed the cats! (We needed to be away at 9) He threw another tantrum because I didn’t tell him how his car seat should be (it was in the wrong position after the car was valeted)
Am I so wrong?

wow, you are so fucking lucky, but still so unappreciative.

My birthday, i got taken to a restaurant I categorically do not like, and the same hair dryer as i currently have and DH made it home for 7pm on my birthday that fell on a saturday, a day he usually has off.

I would consider that worse, and I didnt have anything to "forgive" my husband for.

Have you made up yet OP?

Usual array of people in shit relationships who’ve set the bar incredibly low and think anyone should be grateful when someone’s spouse even remembers their birthday is very depressing

my point is just that youre very lucky to have a husband who made that sort of effort, why didnt you just say to him, I dont really understand whats going on, but its my birthday, youve made some lovely plans, lets not toss them aside, lets enjoy the day. Im sorry if you are upset at something ive done. im upset too.

and move on... i dont understand the being at home in a strop, not wanting to share a bed with him that night because of the arguing. he obviously cares, hes probably quite stressed trying to make things go as they should.

OP. Come back. Tell us more.

Presumably the DH was pissed off at still doing chores at 9 not the actual act of hanging up the laundry. That would annoy me too. If we have said leave at 9 I expect DP to be ready to leave at 9, not still doing chores.

I think both of you sound like hard work, your both playing games. But you can't really moan about him taking you home when you said you wanted to go home?

What I would have said to my DP is "no of course not, I want us not to argue on my birthday. Let's say sorry and forget about it" something like that. Then my perfectly reasonable DP would say "sorry for picking a fight" or whatever, or I might say "sorry for being a twat", we would have a cuddle or a quick hand hold if driving and get over it.

Ummmm ... no if my husband and I had an argument and asked if I wanted to go home I wouldn't have said yes unless I wanted to go home. You need to take responsibility for that, it's all in you.

As for the rest, well it sounds like you were expecting a lot, he didn't deliver what you wanted and you we're angry with him. It's ok to be disappointed, but just communicate.

"Presumably the DH was pissed off at still doing chores at 9 "

So why wasn't he more organised also?

Can't have caught either of them by surprise that these things needed doing before they lest?

Were you going by train Op?

The thing is different scenarios require different responses. Some of us might be thinking of one and responding as such while completely inaccurate.

1.Husband wakes up at 8:45 and rocks up after 5 mins,come on we need to go. Meanwhile OP was up at a sensible times, doing chores,getting ready,packing etc. Then he gets pissy because he was asked to help and they're late. He's a dick.

1. Both up and doing stuff,ready but laundry only just finished and OP remembers the cats. Not a big deal and no one's fault. Maybe a bit more organising needed.
2. OP faffs all morning,finding never ending chores and despite everything being ready 30 mins ago, they're now late and still doing stuff. Highly irritating, but solved with a chat and a mumbled FFS.

Since OP never came back to explain what happened and how and what the other arguments were about no one can say with certainty who the dick or spoilt brat in the situation is.