To think this is asking too much of my little one?

[StopTheSundayBlues]

Childminder has told me to change my son’s bedtime routine, can anyone advise if it’s okay for her to ask this?

I’ve recently returned to work and use to let my little one wake up naturally at about 9.30, sometimes he’d lay in later. But recently I’ve returned to work and he needs to be out of the door by 7.45am!

This is really impacting in a sense that he’s extremely cross and childminder is saying she’s having a difficult time in the mornings because she likes to go out to groups nice and early, but my son won’t play ball. Instead, he just wants to sleep on her. But that means she can’t get up and be ready to see to any other child she has there at the soft play etc. He’s inconsolable if he’s made to stay awake and play. It just isn’t working.

I’ve tried putting him to bed even earlier, and he will go if I feed him to sleep... But even if he’s in bed for 6.30ish in the evening, the same thing happens in the morning.

I feel really upset about it, I know he must be giving the childminder a hard time but I feel a lot of pressure to change it. But I can’t - I can’t think of anything else that might help. It’s hard enough trying to console him before he has to be whisked away

You just have to start doing 7 til 7 and waking him up. Give it a few days he'll soon get into the new routine.

When does he usually take his naps?

I’m worrying about all of this when my daughter goes to nursery!

I don't understand, why can't the CM put him in a buggy and let him sleep there if she wants to go out? Both mine have been at a childminders since they were 9 months and both slept in her pushchair for naps. She had them better trained than me

Yes 7-7 sounds much more reasonable.

If you were paying a nanny then you could dictate, but I think in This case you probably need to get your baby on a more normal schedule.

Nursery is easier as they can have a nap when they need it as at home because they are all around the same age. Childminders are having to juggle a wider age range and like to take children out to things rather than stay at home so the little ones just get tagged along.

Agree with the first poster. 7pm to 7am and wake him up. It's not that difficult, honestly.

You will have to - or find a nanny. Very few childminders or nurseries will work around this sleep pattern. It’s not fair on her to bring an overtired, grumpy child every morning.

He will quickly get used to a new routine but I am astonished that if he goes to bed at 6:30pm he still wants to sleep till 9:30 am !

How old is he, what time does he normally nap for and what time is his normal bedtime?

Well, how old is LO? What do naps look like- all of that will affect what is reasonable.

To be honest, if LO is struggling so much to get up, then they need more sleep. CM’s are usually very good at routines as they have to be. How long has this been going on for? You’d expect after a few days that this pattern would start to settle.

The other side of it is, how much is LO getting out of CM if wanting to sleep all the time.

I agree with the others - he’s probably not the only mindee and she can’t change a whole routine to accommodate the fact he sleeps really late.
But maybe I’m being unduly harsh as neither of mine have ever slept beyond 6.30am!

Your baby used to sleep until 9.30am - am I reading that right?! What time did he used to go to bed?

Is he at the childminder’s house everyday?

I understand your struggles as I had to amend bedtimes with both my babies when I had to return to work and didn’t have the luxury of lazy mornings at home anymore.

My two children (aged 4 and 15 months) have to be dropped off at the childminders at 7am so we all get up at 6am.

I think childminders are wonderful but the downside is that proper nap routines can’t really exist with this type of childcare because they are generally out and about and sleepy babies and toddlers just have to sleep where they can, when they can.

Thankfully my son is only at his childminder’s house two days a week so his natural sleep pattern is only disturbed on those two days and then he can have his usual nap times on the other 5 days of the week.

If he’s still like that after sleeping from 730 chances are he’s just needing cuddles rather than sleep. If I was his childminder I’d put him in the carrier so I could do everything, but I’m an odd one amongst childminders.

Sorry for the delay!

He is down for 6.30ish. He is up for 7

So what’s the problem then if he is up by 7 after over 12 hours sleep?

So he goes down at 6:30 and doesn’t wake until 9:30? Is he waking at all in the night and is he having naps during the day? Because tbh although we often thank the lord for a child who sleeps I would be slightly concerned at a child who sleeps for fifteen hours a night plus naps and still struggles to stay awake.

I was trying to find out what his previous bedtime was. How long have you been trying the 6.30pm for?

Sounds like he needs a morning nap, you don't say how old he is, but most of the babies I've looked after have had between 30-60 min nap between 9 and 10am up to the age of about 13 -14 months. That could be in a pushchair if he will settle for a nap in one, so the childminder can keep up with a routine for the other children.

I don’t blame her for not having him sleep on her, that’s unworkable.

The CM is being obtuse. She should just let him sleep when he gets to hers. Be assertive and tell her that’s what you expect. If she doesn’t comply, find an alternative. You’re paying her

He use to be up for 9.30am/10am before I was back to work, and would be in bed for 8pm. No night wakings.

Ever since he's been at childminder, I've woken him for 7am and he's been in bed for 6.45pm. I don't even see him in the evenings. He's always asleep. I only get him at weekends. The mornings are just him falling in and out of sleep and tears. It's horrendous.

I'm not sure what else I can do. I don't know what else I can possibly try.

She says she doesn't like to bring pushchairs out and about so that isn't an option.

Sorry! He's 1.

Is he napping? If he is, I would be quite concerned that he seems to be so tired despite getting 12+ hours of sleep.

She says she doesn't like to bring pushchairs out and about confused so that isn't an option.

Your little one is only a year old. How old are the other children, i'm assuming at least toddler age? If so, how does she intend to get anywhere with toddlers and a 1 year old without a buggy.

Have you mentioned the amount of sleep he needs/difficulty waking at any healthcare appointments, just to make sure he's not iron deficient or something else that's making him a lot more tired?

Would he sleep in a pushchair? Your OP says he only wants to sleep 'on' her, which I can imagine wouldn't be feasible when she has other children to take care of.