Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Morning drinking

999 replies

nottellingyou101 · 24/11/2018 15:03

I'm curious to know thoughts on this. I'm completely okay with it but interested to see what people think.

Once and sometimes twice a week at 10am I will crack open a bottle of wine and have 2 or 3 glasses over a few hours. I'll Read, catch up on some tv and other stuff and just relax and enjoy.

I do this because this is the only time I get to myself while the kids are in school and before everyone gets home around 4. I don't drink in the evening or at the weekends. Probably having around 16 units a week.

I know if I was to tell anyone this they'd think I had a problem and needed a drink first thing in the morning, but I don't.It's about 4 or 5 days before I'll have a glass of wine again since the last one.

What are you're thoughts?

OP posts:
billiby · 25/11/2018 00:31

I have one small reservation OP, that's when the kids are on holiday you find something to occupy them so you can drink during the afternoon.

That makes me slightly uneasy.

Rtmhwales · 25/11/2018 00:35

I don't think it's strange. Why's it okay to have a couple glasses of champagne at brunch but not a couple glasses of wine at home? I don't drink at all but wouldn't find it odd. Nobody would bat an eye if you were having a couple glasses of wine in the tub with a good book at 6pm would they? What's the difference.

VerbeenaBeeks · 25/11/2018 00:40

6pm presumably everyone home and safe from school and work, not drinking several glasses of wine to yourself at 10am and having a sleep when they're all out in the morning....

Positivethinking1 · 25/11/2018 00:51

@OftenHangry

Totally agree with what you have said re doners! People dont like things that go against norms, and are all too happy to post their knee jerk reaction but can’t give a valid reason why it’s an issue, beyond ‘it’s not the norm’.

I have been chastised for eating salad for breakfast (weird) and croissant for dinner (unhealthy). But switch those around and it’s totally ok. To me, it makes sense to eat what my body wants, when it wants it.

Same with the OP’s drinking - you’re doing a completely normal thing at an unusual time and therefore it’s wrong. But why? Not a single person has been able to answer that yet (and yes I have read the whole thread!)!

3ChangingForNow · 25/11/2018 00:55

Lol at all the pearl clutching. Sounds fine to me given that you don't even drink in the evenings or at weekends, and I don't even drink.

springydaff · 25/11/2018 01:08

You have a problem op. You can blase your way through it on here but it looks like you know something isn't quite right on some level.

ok if you want to do this, say, once every 3 months or so. That would be a great treat. But you're doing it 3 to 4 times a week. That's a LOT. You're also drinking on your own. You relish it - plan it? Look forward to it? You don't tell your husband you have started drinking at 10am (so you can fit it all in!). It has all the hallmarks imo.

I think you're getting a lot of cheering on here because it seems an awful lot drink an awful lot on a regular basis. Wouldn't we all love to regularly curl up, at whatever time of day, and get quietly sloshed. It's lovely, after all.

The thing about drinkers is they think they keep it secret. I bet there's a lot of people who have clocked you are partial to wine on a regular basis op.

OccasionallyIncomplet · 25/11/2018 01:10

There are a number of red flags with this behaviour which may be a symptom of a developing alcohol dependency. I note that OP has also spent quite a bit of time replying to posts 'justifying' (read 'minimising') her behaviour.

As you are asking OP - yes this in unusual and probably not healthy. No matter how you justify it to yourself and explain it to others, I would advise looking at your behaviour closely and consider speak to professionals.

The fact that you have posted about this at all leads me to think that sub consciously you know it's not 'healthy' behaviour (in quotes as lots of people don't follow a 'healthy' lifestyle) and might be beginning to mental process the associate red flags. I would advise speaking to your GP.

Original poster
nottellingyou101 · 25/11/2018 01:32

If I was to just alcoholics I'd get the response I wanted. So I thought I'd ask for other opinions. Sorry If I sound defensive, I'm quite curt and come straight to the point most times and I know it can sound abrupt.

OP posts:
Original poster
nottellingyou101 · 25/11/2018 01:42

Had to go to a work party tonight. Forgot it was in the calendar, didn't really want to be there. Shared there bottles of wine between four, I paced myself, drank about 4 pints of water, sat here getting some alone time, listening to music. Drinking tea and water at 2am. Slowly I've watched people get really pissed and fall down stairs and because I drink at 10am I'm the one with the problem?

OP posts:
springydaff · 25/11/2018 01:43

But you're typing and can change your curtness before it goes out?

Sorry, don't understand your first sentence . Are you in the UK? It's 1.30am here.

springydaff · 25/11/2018 01:46

Yes you are the one with the problem.

You do it regularly, for starters op.

IHaveBrilloHair · 25/11/2018 01:55

Many years ago I worked in a town that operated 24/7 as in half of it was in night shift and pubs opened at 6am.
It seemed odd at first but I got used to it and then often met people for breakfast or drinks at that time.
I don't see anything wrong with what the OP is doing.

VerbeenaBeeks · 25/11/2018 01:55

Sorry OP if I've come across harsh, really hope I haven't but I can see your posts in me.
I like a drink and could easily want to start on a weekday when DH is at work and kids are at school. Couldn't see myself going there though when they're all out at work/school and I'm home. My self esteem would be out the window after a few weeks.

CoraCoo · 25/11/2018 01:58

I can't even drink at that time when im on a hen weekend ha!

CheshireChat · 25/11/2018 02:04

I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed that you also tell your kids that you're busy painting and drinking and that they're not to bother you Hmm.

You probably think they don't notice, but I promise you they will- particularly for a kid, booze stinks!

And there is a difference between drinking in the evening and drinking in the morning- you usually don't have to do much at night, particularly not when you have secondary school children (assuming as you said they get themselves home), but you should be interacting with them after school.

And you'll be buzzed and you'll think they won't care, but they will as they'll pick up on the subtle cues you'll give away and they really won't thank you for it.

ImogenTubbs · 25/11/2018 02:12

OP, I live in a part of Spain where you see tons of people having a beer or a glass of red wine with breakfast. The influence of social norms is interesting!

That said, three glasses is quite a lot. I wouldn't be able to do this as it would send me to sleep. I guess it becomes an issue if it is impacting on your life, or the lives of those around you. I agree with PPs I'd be concerned if I had to go to school or something. And I'd also ask why you felt the need to ask this question - is there some part of you which feels this isn't ok? If so then it is already impacting on your life.

Original poster
nottellingyou101 · 25/11/2018 02:38

Here's me justifying it again. My kids obviously don't understand, I know that.

But why is it okay for them to smell booze on me after 6pm but not before 11am?

OP posts:
Original poster
nottellingyou101 · 25/11/2018 02:42

ImogenTubbs. I know it's not okay in acceptable society. I didn't need to ask that but I just wondered. I'm asking because I've questioned myself whether it is okay or not but people haven't come on here and said 100% No. There has been many kinds of opinions. I wonder if the people who disagree have maybe changed their minds. I've taken on board as many comments as I can and not all for my way of thinking.

OP posts:
Lovingbenidorm · 25/11/2018 02:49

I couldn’t possibly face a glass of wine at 10am, I still feel shite from the night before.
Could everyone stop having a go at op ffs! She obviously doesn’t have a ‘problem ‘ and was posting for interest!

VerbeenaBeeks · 25/11/2018 02:54

I don't see anyone "having a go?" just honest experiences and opinions

Lovingbenidorm · 25/11/2018 02:55

Very true Verb I stand corrected

Mamaryllis · 25/11/2018 03:25

My alcoholic friend doesn’t drink much when she’s out socializing and people can see. In fact she uses her ability to only have a couple in those occasions as proof that she doesn’t have a problem. And she is equally critical of how much others drink in public and feels reassured that she is far more in control than they are.
It’s all tosh, of course. She drinks like a fish when she’s alone in the house during the day. But denies it completely until she crashes. Again.

Workreturner · 25/11/2018 05:39

Why ok to smell booze on you at 6 rather than 11?

At 11 the entire day stands in front of you. You need to pick up dry cleaning / go to the post office / attend your dentist app / get your flu jab / get your hair cut / arrange an engineer visit / possibly pick up a sick child from school.
I could go on. And on. If you worked the listbwould be even longer.
But all these events can only occur before 6

Post 6, vast majority in wind down. Tv viewing figures soar, home electricity usage soars. Why? Because most at home settling down for evening at home

But I’m telling you nothing you don’t already know. You simply want ammunition as to why it’s ok what you’re doing. It’s not.

MarshaBradyo · 25/11/2018 06:07

I haven’t changed my mind
Your refusal to budge on why you’re fine but others have a problem reinforce my opinion

Drinking so early so you can fit it all in is off and probably indicates a problem

Lots of the comments are weirdly enabling it, because you say you go against norms, so what? it’s not that interesting or special

How many would be ok if they found out their sahd partner drank at 10am 3 times a week and planned it to the minute so they could sleep and get rid of it before the dc got home -if roles were reversed and it was a sahd situation

smiler0206 · 25/11/2018 06:22

You need to stop this and maybe have a glass or 2 in the evening when DC are in bed. It might not be a habit now but it will get more frequent and you are in danger of it becoming a habit. You already see it as normal to start in the morning

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread