AIBU about DP friend using toilet?

[Ragevibration]

Now I KNOW that this is a thing that comes up a lot, and the general consensus is that that is what a toilet is there for, don't be so precious etc. Which typically I agree with.

However, interested to see if the responses are different based on this particular scenario.

DP just gone to pick up friend who lives 9 minutes away by car. Came straight back (with a bunch of flowers bevause he knows he's arsehole today but that's another story). Whilst he's out, I've gone and started to run a bath, lit some candles, put a bath bomb and some essential oils in, dimmed the lights and placed my kindle on top of the washing basket. So CLEARLY once DP goes to the pub, I'm planning on having a nice long, relaxing lovely bath. The bathroom is filled with the lovely smells (just trying to set the scene here).

In come DP and his friend. Friend (who to be fair I've never really liked I fucking hate him) asks ro use the toilet. Yes, I say. Assuming he needs a pee.

Nope. He has just unleashed the bowels of he'll from his own bowels apparently and the whole flat stinks so bad it's actually literally made me retch.

No air fresher sprayed or even the can of deodorant DP had left on the side. Then off they went...

Also for full disclosure he does have IBS which yes, is unfortunate and sometimes you can't help it but AIBU to think he could have either gone in his own house 9 minutes ago or waited the approx. One and a half minute walk it is to the pub?

Okay okay... maybe IBU about the actual doing of the poo.

But after going into the bathroom to open the window and wave some matches around (good tip!) IANBU with regards to 1. Empty toilet roll left on the holder... perfectly good bathroom bin and spare rolls behind the toilet 2. Skid marks down the toilet. No excuse to expect ME I assume to clean somebody else's poo off any toilet 3. Didn't hang the towel back up on the towel rail and instead wrapped it casually over the counter.

IBS or not that's just rude. And now I'm even more annoyed bevause he left a half drank can of coke and a receipt on the floor in my brand new car last week petty

And I don't retch at normal poo! If I did maybe I'd have lost some weight living with DP or picking up after the dogs etc but this was.not.a.normal.smelling.poo.

Honestly though... he's not a poor lad. He's an emotionally manipulative stroppy sulky man child whose mummy cleans up after him at 29 yet repeatedly calls all the names under the sun.

But still, I don't want him to shit himself so IWBU about the poo

could poo particles have floated into my bath?

I think air fresher just makes it so much worse. Open a window.

she'll understand it's just my IBS.

Do some people with IBS not travel round with a kit for dealing with this?

I had to travel with a portable container of the only clean-up tissues that wouldn't make me bleed and I had dropper bottles of various deodorisers as well as matches to burn etc.

Plus, depending on the variety of IBS, it can be less odorous and messy to flush as you go rather than wait until the end (so to speak). (Much easier to do this in a domestic than a public facility.)

Sorry OP even with those additional details trying to win us to your side I'm with the other posters. He's got IBS and needed a shit quickly not sure how not replacing the toilet roll really impacts on your bath

What is it about Mumsnetters and their toilets. They sem to regard them as some sort of Holy place. Many won't extend the common decency of allowing a tradesman working in their house and now OP doesn't want her DPs friend to use hers. I think some of you need to get a life and a sense of proportion.

YANBU in that he could have made an effort to make the smell a bit better, ie spray or open the window!

[poo]

@BreakfastAtSquiffanys does it really work?!
I was always curious. Mainly because when I first saw the ad I thought it was a satire😂

Poor guy, must be an embarrassing problem to have, I doubt he made your bathroom smell deliberately.

I agree with a PP, people on here are so weird about normal bodily functions.

You guys would love my builders. Builder 1 has the drain cover up, Builder 2 disappears indoors.
Builder 1 and I chat about the new drain cover he's constructing... next thing we watch in horror as Builder 2's poo comes merrily floating past....!

--I had already given them permission to help themselves to the kettle and the loo. And Builder 1 yelled at Builder 2 and called him some rude names.
I was just glad it wasn't my poo tbh.--

The people who think it's just the smell haven't seen the clean-up involved if someone has particular varieties of IBS...

You really need to travel with your own clean-up tissues (for you) and cleaning wipes for the sanitary ware.

Clearly, the problem isn’t about the evil stinking poo but about the fact that he doesn’t seem to be a very nice or considerate person.

Be honest OP, if a good friend of your’s or a family member had done the same, would you still be so irate?

If he saved his poo all day to ruin your bath then that was gross but it's more likely he just suddenly had to go.

YANBU about the other stuff, he didn’t need to be so untidy.

MissClare

I would, honestly, still be annoyed at the lack of consideration with regards to cleaning up after, strewn towels etc but not to the same level, no, you're right. I just particularly don't like him so it's annoyed me more than usual!

He left a receipt in your car?! The utter bastard!

OP accepts he may have had to go.

But he was still a dirty bastard for not even trying to air the bathroom out or clean his shit off the pan afterwards. And a lazy one for not changing the loo roll.

Unfortunate. But not his fault

I totally get you. DH has a friend who winds me up incessantly. And I can hand on heart say that I would far less forgiving of him than of any other of his friends.

And a lack of consideration drives me batty!

pictish just to be VERY clear... it was my brand new, fresh off the production line 11 miles on the clock new shiny beautiful hybrid I've had my eye on for a year. Bastard. We are still not allowed to transport a chipper in it

This AIBU is definitely not about this guy using your loo. It’s about the fact that you can’t stand the guy.

Sorry folks don’t agree. I think he could have legged it to the pub which OP says was literally 1.5 mins walk away (and presumably only seconds at a trot). That’s what I’d have done if I was him.

I can understand if he has ibs he couldn’t help needing to go but surely he should have left the toilet clean and sprayed? Yanbu

I'm amazed at all the people having sympathy for that guy! If you were in that position surely the least you'd do is open a window and clean the bloody toilet? Some people have disgusting toilet habits and I would go mad if they came to my place just to stink it out.