Child didn’t have lunch at school

[Purpletigers]

Child doesn’t have a lunch with them at school and doesn’t inform the teacher before lunchtime or the supervisor at lunchtime. Parent phones the school after pick up to complain that their child didn’t have anything to eat . The phone call is the first time the class teacher is aware of the situation . Who is at fault ?

Hi Purple
Speaking as a teacher I can assure you the parent is a total twat.

Don't let it bother you. The vast majority of parents are lovely and probably think you are too even if they don't say.

The parent in this case is totally wrong.

You have to develop a thick skin in this job I'm afraid - they'll be a parent like this in every class.

Laugh about him/her in the staffroom. For good's sake make sure the door's shut!

@Mumshappy brilliant perspective thanks.

Child isb8. More than capable of telling an adult theu have forgotten/lost their packed lunch. Have any of you ever tried to organise a lunch routine in a school? Teachers in alot of schools dont have anything to do with school dinners, it is usually welfare staff (dinner ladies) and TAs. They can only see what is i front of them. In a school with a couoke of hundered pupils you cant see in EVERY chuld had been through the line/or sat with a pack up. obviously the reception classes are monitored more but by the age of 8 they are capable of getting their lunch and sitting down ot telling someone there is a problem. ,Teacher wouldn't of had a clue.

Dont know whats going on With the bold!

The parent and child were to blame.
I doubt lunch time staff have the time to personally inspect every child s lunch box and dinner plate then make sure they eat most of it.
This is the real world.
I would say most lunch time supervisors are run off their feet.
The child lied about it, why would the teacher question this.
Should the teacher now spend 15 minutes per day instead of teaching checking each and ones lunch box?
That's a great use of time .

I work at a primary school and we are woefully underfunded, and understaffed, particularly at lunchtimes. We have a small dinner hall with a rotation of YR through Y6 classes coming through, often with overlap. Register is only taken for hot dinners and if a child ordered one and didn't collect it, it would be noted, as it would if a child ate very little of their hot dinner that day. Packed lunches are another story, particularly for Y3 and up. They are expected to come and eat when their class dinner bell goes but very often it is not the case, particularly for boys, when there's something better football on outside. So yes, a child without a packed lunch could very easily slip past the cracks.

What a load of fussier nothing. If he's hungry he can eat when he gets
I made a pathetic lunch for my DS (9) with breadsticks, a carrot and a bottle with water in because he never ever eats it.
School has never once questioned this. 🤷🏻‍♀️

If it’s any consolation to those who think I’m a dreadful teacher , I’ve been thinking about what happened all day . I do still feel dreadful that a child in my care did not have lunch on Friday. Guilty even .

I will be making a point of informing all staff to check every child has a lunch in front of them in future . This had never happened before, I hope we can make sure it never happens again .
Apologies for my rubbish spelling, grammar and punctuation.

The parent of the child is lovely btw . I have absolutely no issues with her whatsoever . If she did read this,I would hope she would understand that I just wanted another viewpoint.

Metronome - you’re being unnecessarily unkind .

"If the school dinner or pack lunch is the only meal they get that day then it's pretty important for teachers to notice when they don't have one."

Teachers don't know who eats at lunchtime and who doesn't. They're either in the staffroom having their own lunch, or more likely busy setting up for the afternoon and marking. Lunchtimes are supervised by dedicated midday staff.

If a teacher is told, by the child, that they have a lunch then how exactly is the teacher failing the child, by what mechanism would the teacher know that they had lied?

It's not your fault, OP, and the parent of the child is not lovely. If she was, she wouldn't have made you feel bad in the first place.
It's not a big deal. Sometimes things like this happens, and no one is traumatised. And it can be improved with simple feed back. But the parent decided to accuse you.

Gloomymonday I know that the teacher is not working at lunch. It was the attitude of I am there to teach and nothing more that I was talking about. Ok so the teacher is not responsible for lunch supervision but other staff are. I was not just referring to the teacher. I was referring to her attitude though.
Honestly I don't think I'm being harsh at all. I do think that saying and thinking that you are only there to teach is awful op. I won't apologise for having that opinion. You are entrusted with our most precious children for more of the week than we get with them and therefore no you are not just there to teach, you are responsible for the well-being and the learning of the children in your care. I'm sure you know that though.

It's not your fault. Tbh if the parent is nice in general she's probably just angry at herself and projecting that onto you. Instead of shouldering the blame alone, she has someone else to either share it with or fully assign it to.

But you didn't know and the child didn't say anything at any point in time. You can't fix what you don't know it's really that simple.

We have kids that lost their lunch,or didn't have it, or their drink spilled and it was ruined or whatever. If we're told,even if it's at the end of lunch we sort it out somehow. Hell even in the middle of the afternoon we still find something. But we need to be told.

metronome,

"If the call had been to inform me of what happened and asked me to double check that the child had their lunchbox every single day I would understand."

" No child is left without food ever."

"I do feel bad that the child didn’t eat but I genuinely can’t see what I could have done differently."

"I would have appreciated being informed of what happened so it didn’t happen again."

"I will of course speak to my lunch supervisor and ask them to scan the room to check every child has a lunch in future . I assumed this was something they would notice . Perhaps they need reminding ."

"No child is left without food in my school . I’ve given children my fruit if they forget their break before . The children are the reason I love my job."

"I’ve been thinking about what happened all day . I do still feel dreadful that a child in my care did not have lunch on Friday."

She doesn't sound like a teacher with a bad attitude to me.

The very fact that she's dwelling on this over the weekend, and posting here, shows she cares.

It's very obvious that the thing that pissed her off was the parent's attitude and attempt to blame the teacher.

"You are entrusted with our most precious children for more of the week than we get with them"

We are with your kids for 185 days x 6.5 hours (1200 ish hours) pa. You get the other 7000 so no need to panic yet.

Your attitude is one of the reasons good teachers leave teaching : it doesn't matter how much you care, or how hard you work, or how much you love the children, there's always someone thinking you need to do a bit more, care a bit more, work a bit harder and trying to make you feel bad - unnecessarily, completely unnecessarily in this case - when you are perceived to have dropped the ball.

The op said at the beginning of this that she was there to teach and nothing more. That is the part that I was referring to and the part that made me think op had a bad attitude.
The op has since added the bits you quoted and that's great but I commented based on her previous instalments.
I'm not expecting more from my child's teacher. My sister and my best friend are teachers. I know exactly how it feels to be expected to give that bit more with very little. I'm a social worker, I'm stretched, I know how it feels to be damned if you do damned if you don't. I stand by my opinion that teachers are not just there to teach the curriculum and that is it.

I feel this has been blown out of all proportion. A child missed a meal - no harm done. Oversight has been addressed. Child won’t starve by missing one meal.

I agree.
I'm just answering gloomy

I don't really think it's anyone's fault and hate this idea that we always have to find someone to blame.

The lunch was forgotten, the child didn't tell anyone, staff didn't notice because they were busy. It's unfortunate it happened but no major harm has been done.

All children should be told that if they ever forget their lunch, simply let a member of staff know and they will either arrange for their lunch to be brought in from home or they will be given a meal.

Yet when schools criticise the contents of lunchboxes and expect healthy choices, parents are also upset.
At 8, probably Y4? no additional needs, I’d expect him to complain to a teacher, a midday or ask a friend to help solve the problem. Is he keen on playtimes? Eager to be outside? Usually gobbles his lunch and zooms out?
In our school, EYFS get detailed support and encouragement to eat, KS1 less so, KS2 are expected to be more resilient. SN support as needed. Perhaps he needs a Buddy to check he’s managing, do you have a usefully officious child that could be nominated?
Not your fault OP. Build that independence and confidence in all your children over the year.

Also I wanted to add that if this was my child, I wouldn't even have told the school that it happened. I would be puzzled that my child didn't speak up but just make sure that they know to tell staff if it ever happened again.

"The op said at the beginning of this that she was there to teach and nothing more."

Can you find the quote? I can't. Pretty sure you're taking it out of context. Maybe the comment she made about talking to the complaining parent and feeling like she was there to educate and the parent was there to feed her child? Haven't her subsequent comments softened your position at all?

GloomyMonday This was the OP's response to me when I'd explained that my 2 with SN had gone without eating lunch when they had packed lunches with them, due to changes in the usual lunch routine. And as they have communication disorders, they were unable to tell their teacher but told me at pick up.

What do you want the school to do Dobbins? I’m sure they eat after school if they don’t eat at lunchtime . Surely you realise that school is a place to educate your child , it’s your job to feed them .