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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Child didn’t have lunch at school

199 replies

Purpletigers · 23/11/2018 19:59

Child doesn’t have a lunch with them at school and doesn’t inform the teacher before lunchtime or the supervisor at lunchtime. Parent phones the school after pick up to complain that their child didn’t have anything to eat . The phone call is the first time the class teacher is aware of the situation . Who is at fault ?

OP posts:

GloomyMonday · 23/11/2018 20:19

"I do think it's maybe a little strange that the school don't have any system set up for finding out what each child is doing for lunch that day"

They do. He answered as usual.

ASauvignonADay · 23/11/2018 20:19

Not the teacher. Guessing you're the teacher?

To be honest, does anyone need to be at fault? Parent needs to make sure child has lunch. Lunch needs to tell someone if they have no lunch. Doesn't always need to be blame - assume there are no long term ill effects from this?

user789653241 · 23/11/2018 20:20

Definitely not teacher/school's fault.
8 years old should have said something. If she/he couldn't because of shyness or whatever reason, still there's no reason for parents to complain to school.

mamma2016 · 23/11/2018 20:21

No one is at fault.
Accidents happen and most involved made a mistake:
Parent didn't provide lunch, child didn't tell any adult that they had nothing, lunchtime supervisor didn't notice as they had 30 children to watch.
It sounds like you want someone to blame. Why not say, "Never mind, accidents happen, my child isn't harmed," and then tell your child to make sure they tell an adult if it ever happens again?

arethereanyleftatall · 23/11/2018 20:21

In that case, no, you, as the teacher?, are not at fault.

Child was given an opportunity to speak up that he'd forgotten lunch. He didn't. There's no way teacher could have known.

So, parent forgot to make lunch, child didn't speak when given opportunity to do so, there's no way a lunch time supervisor would spot this in a busy playground.

Child/parent combo at fault.

Don't worry op, this isn't you.

shouting · 23/11/2018 20:22

If my DC has forgotten their packed lunch, I ring the school and let them know so they can sort out a hot dinner for them.

NeedAUsernameGenerator · 23/11/2018 20:23

If the child says that they have a packed lunch when they actually don't and then doesn't tell anyone about their mistake at lunchtime I wouldn't necessarily expect anyone to notice. Especially at 8 when they might have multiple sittings or packed lunches in one area and school dinners in another. At my kids school though they would find the child a school dinner if the child said something to a lunchtime supervisor, or call the parent if she said something earlier in the day.

Original poster

Purpletigers · 23/11/2018 20:24

Child gets fsm but there are occasions when a packed lunch is taken if they don’t like the meal .
No adult on the premises was informed at any time that the child had left their lunchbox in the car or at home .
The classroom has one supervisor and some of the children have poor appetites at lunchtime because of ADHD medication. The supervisor may just not have noticed that another child didn’t eat or may have thought they had finished . It’s a busy room .

OP posts:

Purpleartichoke · 23/11/2018 20:26

Lunch supervisor should have noticed child not eating and dealt with the situation.

RedDwarves · 23/11/2018 20:27

Are you going to tell us who you are in this scenario, OP? Or are you just going to keep giving vague dribs and drabs of information despite the overwhelming consensus that the parent was in the wrong?

aussiemum8 · 23/11/2018 20:27

OP are you the teacher in this scenario?

SnuggyBuggy · 23/11/2018 20:27

I think it's reasonable to expect the child to seek help.

arethereanyleftatall · 23/11/2018 20:28

'Dear Mrs x, I'm sorry that child x didn't have his lunch today. In future, please can you let him know that he needs to inform us if he has forgotten his lunch, and we will of course provide him with a school dinner. '

Alice2468 · 23/11/2018 20:30

When I taught in school, it would be the lunchtime staff (non-teaching) and a senior member of the teaching staff, who would be in the actual dining hall. Nobody EVER got 'overlooked', as the staff or another child would have noticed/said something. I worked there for 25 years. Saying that though, I've never known any child to turn up without their lunch box and us not be made aware of it (one way or another). I've even been known to go out of school and buy a sandwich for such a child and others (not many) have been given a school dinner.

MemoryOfSleep · 23/11/2018 20:30

I feel like this is a reverse...

Mummyshark2018 · 23/11/2018 20:30

Sounds like you're the teacher in this scenario. At that age unless child has SEN or other needs I would expect that they would speak up , say to a friend, teacher, lunch assistant etc, if they did alert someone (do they eat in a big lunch hall?) I would expect someone would get them food

Dermymc · 23/11/2018 20:32

Child should have spoken up.

bringbackthestripes · 23/11/2018 20:33

I am assuming you are the teacher.

Totally the parents fault for not ensuring the child either has their lunch. At that age the child should speak up and tells someone they haven’t got anything to eat. Definitely NOT the teachers/TA/class supervisors fault. Not that the parent will see it that way.

iLoveFoood · 23/11/2018 20:34

Parents fault completely. Especially if it's not a scenario where the school regularly provides said child meals.

Why would a parent send the child off with no lunch if food at school was not guaranteed or a regular thing

EleanorShellstropper · 23/11/2018 20:34

I'm a mid-day supervisor and part of that is watching them during lunch. The head MDSA has a register as to who has packed lunches down for that day. If anyone hasn't got their packed lunch they get a school lunch and the school then chase for the payment. No one ever gets left without a lunch (If they don't eat very much/anything we report it in case it becomes a regular thing). I'm with KS1 so don't know how it works with KS2, who are more than capable of speaking out, but I feel there's more to the story than we've been given as no child is left without a lunch.

The parent should have called up the school when it was realised child didn't have their lunch with them, and the child should have told someone (8 is more than old enough to take responsibility.) I wonder if perhaps the child was scared about what reaction they'd get, either at school or at home. Does the child have form for forgetting lunch?
School, in an ideal world, should have noticed, but unless the child was sitting in the lunch hall with nothing in front of them, I assume they didn't go into lunch...and the supervisors aren't mind readers...

Original poster

Purpletigers · 23/11/2018 20:35

I’m the teacher. I feel that a phone call essentially blaming me for something I had no control over is a bit much when the parent in question didn’t realise herself until the child apparently told her as soon as he got in the car .
If the call had been to inform me of what happened and asked me to double check that the child had their lunchbox every single day I would understand .

OP posts:

MadMum101 · 23/11/2018 20:35

OP answered that the child said lunch meaning packed lunch when asked Nails.

Assume lunch left behind somewhere and parent didn't realise then. Not specifically parents fault then.

Definitely someone should have noticed child had nothing. Not teacher but whoever supervises lunch. Surely they're not left to eat alone in a classroom /hall with no supervision?

SnuggyBuggy · 23/11/2018 20:37

The I don't think it's necessarily the parents fault, they might assume that the child remembered their lunch.

iLoveFoood · 23/11/2018 20:38

I wouldn't rely fully on an 8 year old to make sure their lunch is packed.

As the responsible adult for that child I would double check it is in their bag and presume most would. It's an 8 year old.

EleanorShellstropper · 23/11/2018 20:39

Child gets fsm but there are occasions when a packed lunch is taken if they don’t like the meal .
No adult on the premises was informed at any time that the child had left their lunchbox in the car or at home .
The classroom has one supervisor and some of the children have poor appetites at lunchtime because of ADHD medication. The supervisor may just not have noticed that another child didn’t eat or may have thought they had finished . It’s a busy room .

Sorry, hadn't seen this. I assume you work at the school rather than being the parent.

Was the child in the lunch hall? I think that's important. Sitting without a tray in front of them would probably have been noticed. Why the child didn't speak out, I don't understand.

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