To be boiling with rage that he WONT cook.

[peonysandhotcrossbuns]

DH will only cook dinner for his DD (my DSD) without even considering what he, me or our DD will have.
I have been at work since 8am this morning. I arrive home at 6pm to a clingy toddler who I play with upstairs for the first hour of being home.
I come downstairs at 7pm to find that DH has made DSD dinner and not even asked me what I might want or made any for DD!

The thing that makes me most cross about this is that e starting to cook at 7pm means I have a crying clingy toddler at the kitchen door who doesn't understand why mummy has just got home but is now not able to see her because she's dealing with hot pans, ovens etc- the whole dinner rigmarole then seems to stretch into the evening and Im knackered.

He CAN cook/ know how to.

Argued that we had no food but we have PLENTY!

I cook for him, his DSD and my DD 95% of the meals all year round.

Why is he SO useless/ non family minded in this sense?

He then called me twat so that was great.

What a cunty thing to only cook for one of his daughters, is his dd he has with you less deserving of dinner?

On a practical note, I used to have a menu folder on the kitchen counter with agreed upon menu in front and recipes behind.
I would shop on my day off so ingredients were there.
Whoever was first home, started the dinner. This was generally me but could be a teenager if I was running late. On very rare occasions it was DH, he can cook, just does not like to during the week.

@BabySharkDooDooDooDoo - his DD had dinner at 5.

BabySharkDooDooDooDoo

Rtft, younger child had eaten already

Sounds a rather unusual household, do you just arrive home & take your DD upstairs to play without speaking to your DH or DSD? . In our home we all acknowledge each other when we get home at different times and have a general chat about what/when we are eating and rough plans for the evening so we all know what we are doing. Had you even spoken to your DH since arriving home?

So op, you are flouncing because you are being challenged? Btw my cv is mother of 6 born within 8 years of each other and primary school teacher.

For a man who according to the title WON'T cook, it sounds like your DH did quite a bit of cooking...

I'd be absolutely livid at the fact our toddler hadn't been fed at 6pm by her father. Mines eats at 5-5.30ish latest. On rare occasions we're having a later dinner for some reason the wee one still gets fed around about her dinnertime. I'd be kicking his arse and letting him cook for himself.

Bippity the toddler had been fed at 5pm.

@peonysandhotcrossbuns
I'm sorry but I don't care about your 'credentials' your toddler is behaving like this because she is tired and hungry! This is neglect!!!!!

I just read through the rest of the thread. My bad. If your DD had been fed there's not really an issue, you say you eat later anyway. My toddler could eat for Scotland but even she's not starving an hour or so after a meal.

If I arrived home at 6 pm to a tired (but fed) toddler I would probably do half an hour of quiet playing, followed by bath, story, milk and bed at around 7 pm. Young children need to wind down and get to bed in good time, not stay up late to entertain their parents.

If my current 3 year old was still awake at 8 pm then he'd be screaming too (and that's nothing to do with lack of attention, I'm a SAHM).

Peony just disregard most of the comments as they haven't read the thread xx some ppl just like to be 'virtuous'.

Actually, if a toddler eats at 5 and goes to bed at 6/7 of course they don't need more food, but if they go to bed at 8/9 they might want another snack, the early bedtime is very much a British thing and isn't necessarily the best option for all families.

If DP knows that everyone still needs feeding, then he could've started with his DD's meal as she was hungry and then carried in making the snack for the toddler and maybe even starting on dinner for the grown ups depending on how you share the chores out and the time available.

But peonysandhotcrossbuns, whilst I don't think you're U to be cross at him this time, it's also not really fair for you to play with DD whilst he has to cook/ tidy etc and everything else every night.

Maybe make a rota? Some days you cook, some days he does and share out the rest of the chores.

OP if you hadn't drip fed the entire thing people probably would have understood more. You just sound ridiculous now claiming your toddler needs a second dinner 2hrs after her tea. Snack at most!

Your husband didn't neglect his toddler daughter at all. He was cooking his other daughter dinner as she hadn't yet eaten.

@peonysandhotcrossbuns

@gazelda yup should have read full thread!

Op, sit back and think about what you are angry about.Being a stepmum is tough and complex.

It sounds like you resent your DH putting DSD ahead of you and to fair he could have made something for you.
However going upstairs with the toddler straight away could be viewed as you wanting your own space.

Are their issues with the step family dynamics which is the underlying reason?

Can you do a meal plan together for next week and agree who is cooking each night and what you are going to eat in advance?

Your DH is massively out of order. When you feel calm talk to him and create a new way of living that you are both happy with.

Having now albeit slowly having read the thread fully i take back my post as i see she has been fed and i have read it incorrectly

Was this a one-off or does he do it regularly? My dh would only do that once...

But we agree at the start of the week who will cook when, so we know. Neither of us would dream of doing that.

Well that took longer than normal.....

AIBU?
NO!!
Dripfeed...
YABU
No I am NOT! Flounce.....yawn.....

Having read your update, I’m amending my post to say that actually you’re being completely unreasonable. Your DD had already been fed and was upstairs playing with you, why would your DH know or assume she’s still hungry? Why did you stay upstairs playing until she’d reached the point of crying with hunger? You should have gone downstairs and got her a snack if she was hungry. You sound totally unreasonable and I feel for you DH and DsD as I suspect you often behave like this.

He still didn't bother to cook anything for the OP by the sound of it which is rude.

But yes odd the younger DD needed another supper vs a pre bed snack.