To be boiling with rage that he WONT cook.

[peonysandhotcrossbuns]

DH will only cook dinner for his DD (my DSD) without even considering what he, me or our DD will have.
I have been at work since 8am this morning. I arrive home at 6pm to a clingy toddler who I play with upstairs for the first hour of being home.
I come downstairs at 7pm to find that DH has made DSD dinner and not even asked me what I might want or made any for DD!

The thing that makes me most cross about this is that e starting to cook at 7pm means I have a crying clingy toddler at the kitchen door who doesn't understand why mummy has just got home but is now not able to see her because she's dealing with hot pans, ovens etc- the whole dinner rigmarole then seems to stretch into the evening and Im knackered.

He CAN cook/ know how to.

Argued that we had no food but we have PLENTY!

I cook for him, his DSD and my DD 95% of the meals all year round.

Why is he SO useless/ non family minded in this sense?

He then called me twat so that was great.

Deal breaker.

Is this a one off that's gone terribly wrong, or does he usually only attend to his eldest and leave you to do everything else?

It’s outside my experience to hear of an adult cooking dinner and excluding some family members from the meal...

This is utterly bizarre. What is his reasoning? What is the point of only making one portion of a meal when you could just make the meal bigger?

I would never cook for him.

Have you asked him why he decided that only one of his daughters was deserving of food?

I agree, deal breaker. LTB if only for your daughters sake.

And I also agree that his shitty behaviour is probably why she is a DSD of yours and not the DD of 2 happily married parents.......

This is disgraceful! It's not clear if your DD is his DD or DSD, but either way...

This has all gone horribly wrong. Your DSD is not the priority, both children are. Meals should really be something that everyone can eat some of, or at least both children can eat at the same time.

It is incomprehensible how he could leave his own toddler hungry whilst cater for his older daughter. I am also a little surprised that you also left it till 7pm to think of feeding her. I would have thought a sandwich would take moments to make, and then she wouldn't be hungry at least. You could play with her afterwards.

But, really, you both should be clear who is cooking what and when. If he is prepared to change, then meal plan together, agree who cooks on which days and try and at least feed the children together, then the adults later.

If his attitude is to call you a twat and not be in the slightest bit bothered by this, then I'd be looking at leaving him.

My OH never attempts to cook when I'm home after him. I try to be organised enough to put something in the slow cooker in the morning so there's a meal ready for everyone when I get home. I hate getting home late and having to start a meal. His excuse is that he didn't know what I'd planned / like!

Going forwards stop cooking for him and his dsd.

What an arse, I’d be bloody livid. And he has the nerve to call you a twat! I’d never ever cook for him again and would be thinking long and hard about whether this was a household I’d want to raise my DD in

Our DD had eaten at 5 but she's a hungry little thing and likes to eat when we do as well.

My OH never attempts to cook when I'm home after him. I try to be organised enough to put something in the slow cooker in the morning so there's a meal ready for everyone when I get home. I hate getting home late and having to start a meal. His excuse is that he didn't know what I'd planned / like!

So tell him and stop enabling his shitty behaviour with the slow cooker meals. Text him "As you are home before me, just letting you know that there is X in the fridge for dinner, there is Y and Z to go with it."

No excuses and every time he doesnt cook, you dont cook for him the next night. Pathetic I know, but frankly its the only way.

Ok, then I don't understand why you're upset - if she'd eaten at 5pm she couldn't have been starving hungry at 6pm. He should still cook something for everyone as you're supposed to be a family, but that's nowhere near as bad as your DD not having dinner at all!

Stop enabling him. Stop cooking for him. Tell him to pull his fucking pants up or fuck off out the front door and not come home.

So if she has already eaten, why would he make food for her?

I was so ready to say LTB but you've now said your toddler had eaten at 5pm? Why does she need two suppers? By 8pm a toddler should be in bed, because it's bloody late and she ate ages ago winding down for bed. Not having another supper purely because others are eating.

Yeah, you did kind of imply that the wee thing hadnt eaten since lunchtime, which made it sound much worse than it was.

"AIBU that DH didnt feed our toddler in favour of his own DD" is much more emotive than "AIBU that DH fed his DD her main meal and didnt give our DD her second dinner?" isnt it? Frankly, does she need that amount of food at that age? She doesnt need a whole meal, but maybe some yoghurt or fruit or a piece of toast if she wants to eat simply because you are.

I was all ready to jump on the band wagon until I saw the update...she ate at 5?

Umm...whatever the issue is...it ain't about a hungry toddler. I'm guessing you feel he prioritises DSD in general?

Our DD had eaten at 5 but she's a hungry little thing and likes to eat when we do as well.

Drip feed much!

This is unacceptable. Whenever my DH makes food, he always shouts to the rest of us asking if we want some too. Although in the past he'd make food for just himself then we'd swoop in and eat it, he now knows better :)

Well that was a bucket load of drip feed.

Re=reading I suspect that the favouritism is more on your side than his.......

I'd be fucked if I'd be cooking for him again.

YEah, not so much a drip as a flood!

Why didn't dsd eat at 5?