To be upset with teachers?

[NoChocolateThanks]

My DS (Y1) came from school today and told me'Mum,you forgot to pay for 'Beauty and the Beast' '.
The thing is,I didn't forget, it was bugging me for the last week. According to the letter from school, they organised trip for kids to watch spectacle as their current topic is fairy tales. It's in our local theatre and cost £10(it says 'voluntary contribution'),they're going just before Christmas.
I am inclined not to send him as we are financially struggling at the moment, and on the other hand I just feel that the whole outing is totally unnecessary at this time of the year.School knows full well that people in this area are not financially comfortable,yet they feel it's perfectly acceptable to remind the kid that their parent didn't cough up for trip.
Sorry for a rant.

Sending a slip back not granting permission takes seconds and involves no financial discussions. It's when parents still expect their child to have the activity but don't want to pay for it.

If a parent can't afford £10 for a school trip then then couldn't afford them in the first instance but did so anyway and it's the children that then have to live with the consequences.

Do you know what ivy no I would not and do you know why?

i was really fucking ashamed

Look at these posts. A good mum should have thought of school trip costs before conception even, she should (if unable to pay) be willing to go grovelling and sharing details of debt and lack of money. We never looked poor, I was always so determined my children would look well cared for and loved. But we were, very. Go to the teacher and tell her ‘actually we have no money’ and open myself up for judgement, no thanks.

I’m not saying by the way no school trips. But surely there’s a better way even if that involves a published list in advance so parents can budget?

Oh you are horrible big

That is a nasty comment.

I’m a teacher. I would remind a children about their permission slip, but never about money - that’s not a child’s responsibility.

Obviously that was meant to say...child!

'A jolly'. FFS. The ignorant poster that posted that has clearly never organised or been on a school trip! If it's such a jolly, bloody well volunteer for one then! Honestly, comments like that make my blood boil! Trips take WEEKS of preparation.

Go to the teacher and tell her ‘actually we have no money’ and open myself up for judgement, no thanks.
But you're assuming there. You've already decided you don't want to speak to a school.

With the best will in the world, nobody in schools has the time, inclination or lack of professionalism to be discussing family financial situations. You're assuming that our days are so empty that someone needing a hand with a trip is newsworthy and that it's some major revelation. It's not. Without giving details, consider the safeguarding situations many of us will respond to, the bullying, the genuinely shocking violent relationships we hear about. I dont mean to be harsh but nobody is going to be that invested in someone needing a hand with a trip. They're just not. It's as simple as the need to know staff being aware and it's done.

3 weeks ago the OP posted that she spend £100 on average on groceries a week, but sometimes up to £250 a week. On groceries

This OP is talking out of her ass when she says that the tenner would be a struggle.

Why? Why fib OP?

I don’t think many teachers would consider a trip to a panto with 30+ children that they are responsible for a “jolly”.

That's a little unfair, Big. I'm fully against the OP's entitled attitude on this thread, but when I had my son I was wealthy and a combination of an abusive ex-husband, disability and loss of income put me in a situation I never thought I'd be in when I planned a child. I could afford him then, I never imagined that one day I'd have to go without food so he ate.

@ProfessorMoody smile moody

I don't read any entitled attitude here

@NoChocolateThanks is expressing that she's upset the teachers have reminded her son to mention that trip money needs to be paid instead of directly talking to her about money that needs to get paid
She probably feels upset that her son is made aware of financial difficulty and I think that's unfair of the teacher to do that and I would be complaining

I always have assumed that voluntary contribution means just that and have only ever paid half the price requested

Because herding a group of children on and off coaches, getting them to their seats, accompanying them to the toilets, making sure no one is left behind is such fun. On the other hand, seeing the delight in their faces makes it worth while but it is for the children's benefit not the teachers.

Not to mention being able to watch the show...

Not all theatre trips are a hardship for the teachers and I've done them with all primary ages.

If a parent can't afford £10 for a school trip then then couldn't afford them in the first instance but did so anyway and it's the children that then have to live with the consequences.

You are aware that people's circumstances change, no?

Or are you just spiteful for the sake of it?

Lyndar, who do you think is paying the other half of the cost for your child to attend a trip?

have only ever paid half the price requested

As a matter of principle?

Nanny0gg
Some shows I'd actually want to see and really enjoy. Others are awful.

The bottom line is that if I want to go to the theatre for my own enjoyment and a nice evening then I don't take 50 teenagers with me.
I think people take issue with the 'jolly' comments on here because they're a pointless (and evidently inaccurate) dig.

ProfessorMoody smile moody

Eh?

It’s just difficult. I don’t doubt many teachers are being kind when they arrange the trips, that doesn’t change the fact they are expensive.

I really do appreciate that. It's why I think more should be done by schools to make it clear how support can be given. It certainly isn't the be judged by teachers experience you've said you think it would be.

I've never been told when students have been given support financially other than when I have applied for PP funds and thats because we have to log everything. Our admin team sort all that out and then I get a list of anyone I need to speak to e.g. missing information etc.

Ultimately there comes a point where the decision is to speak to the school, pay or don't go on the trip. At that point parents have to decide.

As a school admin we are fully aware that not everyone can afford the full voluntary contribution. We have a family who will send in £1.00 every time - that's fine, it's £1.00 more.
There are also families who pay nothing.
We have never cancelled a visit because not enough contributions were made. We DO say to children 'Don't forget your (consent) slip - we would NEVER say 'Don't forget your money'

Big you're nasty. People's circumstances change. I doubt anyone envisages not being to afford £10 for a school trip but not everything goes to plan.

The jolly comments are so ridiculous. Who in their right mind would actually relish the thought of taking a huge load of teenagers (or younger kids) anywhere? It would be bloody exhausting and stressful.

I am really grateful for the input ladies.
However, I think only couple of you manage to understand the narrative of my message. By no means I am entitled and expect anything from school, it's quite clear that I will either pay or my child won't go and I appreciate for some advice regarding swallowing my pride (it's hard when anxiety takes better of me).Secondly, it never crossed my mind to spoil the festive fun for the others, it never crossed my mind.
As for Workreturner,I don't think it's massive spend when you have to feed children with special dietary requirements and we adults don't drink or smoke,so please don't feel disappointed. Or perhaps you can help me to organise menu?Shopping strategy?

Well I’ve been fortunate enough that I have been able to afford the school trips my dc have gone on but I do think the op has a point.
Some schools are not the most sensitive when it comes to shaming the children of non paying parents. I know this because one of my dc was made to stand in front of the class with the other children who hadn’t paid when the teacher mistakenly thought I hadn’t (it was the other child in the class with the same first name). I feel for the kids whose parents struggle because I know from working in schools it is generally the same few who can’t pay and it is humiliating for them if it’s highlighted in class.
Schools do ask for a lot. I know this is due to their budgets being slashed but I sometimes think that it can seem a little tone deaf to be offering numerous expensive trips if you’re in a deprived area. Yes, a lot of children may be denied those enriching experiences outside of school but they are also the families who will struggle to pay for multiple expensive school trips.

The trips at my child's primary school are shockingly expensive. One night away in year 2 was 35 quid. Then a year 4 trip £180. And then the big one in year 6 was £320 for a pgl type trip. Really wish the school would consider the cost to parents and try to find a cheaper alternative. On top of this they have also got outside companies in to teach a science lesson which we have to pay for even though the kids don't go off site.

Yabu not for pointing out the costs of trips but for moaning and being upset when you’ve done fuck all to sort out the situation.

Go speak to the school. Tell them. Teachers are human. They may actually help you. If you receive pp they may tell you not to worry about the cost even.

Just a thought on being proactive not reactive.