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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset with teachers?

149 replies

NoChocolateThanks · 23/11/2018 16:25

My DS (Y1) came from school today and told me'Mum,you forgot to pay for 'Beauty and the Beast' '.
The thing is,I didn't forget, it was bugging me for the last week. According to the letter from school, they organised trip for kids to watch spectacle as their current topic is fairy tales. It's in our local theatre and cost £10(it says 'voluntary contribution'),they're going just before Christmas.
I am inclined not to send him as we are financially struggling at the moment, and on the other hand I just feel that the whole outing is totally unnecessary at this time of the year.School knows full well that people in this area are not financially comfortable,yet they feel it's perfectly acceptable to remind the kid that their parent didn't cough up for trip.
Sorry for a rant.

OP posts:
HopeGarden · 23/11/2018 20:15

In my other children schools,we had a group meetings with teachers to discuss and plan things in advance

This really does sound like a very impractical and time consuming way of doing things.

Presumably a school will be planning trips that either tie into an educational topic of the year, or things that will be an fun and enriching experience like this pantomime. Either way I’d expect the school to have a clear idea of what trips they’d like to be doing.

That’s what my DC’s primary school do anyway, announce that there’s a school trip planned to local museum A to support pupils learning in topic X.

The most input on trips we’ve ever had is an occasional parent questionnaire asking for opinions.

Imissgmichael · 23/11/2018 20:20

The cost of school trips put an enormous financial pressure on some parents. It’s just wrong and a lot of the time seems a good jolly for the teacher. My sympathies are with the OP on this.

Sirzy · 23/11/2018 20:22

Saying “sorry I can’t afford the trip this month” or just sending in what you can isn’t disclosing your financial history!

Anyone would think these things aren’t run to be nice for the children. Things are in place for parents who struggle, and with no questions asked, but you can’t expect the school to know these things without you telling them!

Sirzy · 23/11/2018 20:23

A good jolly for the teachers Grin

That has to be the funniest comment on this thread! I am guessing you have never organised and ran a trip ?

ProfessorMoody · 23/11/2018 20:24

a good jolly for the teacher

Fucking LOL 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

I think that's the funniest thing I've seen on Mumsnet, like, ever.

Barbie222 · 23/11/2018 20:25

That's a good deal for a pantomime, cheaper than my cinema and such a great experience. I hope your child is able to go - I'm sure they will if you speak to the teacher because they will have budgeted for people who are genuinely struggling, and included a small extra slice on top of the actual cost of the trip, which most parents are very happy to pay if it means that those who are genuinely struggling can also join them. Did I mention genuinely struggling?

Biscuit
craftinglife · 23/11/2018 20:25

YABVU

You are annoyed that the school are taking kids to a pantomime because your struggling with money right now - so should schools just forget schools trips altogether on the off chance that one of some of the families might be short on cash? School trips are part of having kids, you find the money or you swallow your pride and tell the school you can't afford it so that hopefully your child will still be able to go with the support of the school. Your attitude is extremely poor and very self absorbed

immortalmarble · 23/11/2018 20:26

Saying you can’t afford £10 is discussing your finances sirzy

It says loud and clear I’m Poor.

Not all of us are comfortable with that.

ProfessorMoody · 23/11/2018 20:26

It doesn't sound like the OP is genuinely struggling if they can spend £250 a week on food alone. That's more than I spend in two months on food for my family.

Sirzy · 23/11/2018 20:27

Do you really think the teacher cares? They want to help but can’t if parents let their pride get in the way! The only one who would suffer is the child.

Or are you suggesting schools never do trips just because your too proud to ask for the help that is openly available?

craftinglife · 23/11/2018 20:29

*Saying you can’t afford £10 is discussing your finances sirzy

It says loud and clear I’m Poor.

Not all of us are comfortable with that.*

Having a budget of £100-250 a week for food shopping says, loud and clear, IM NOT POOR Wink

ASauvignonADay · 23/11/2018 20:29

The cost of school trips put an enormous financial pressure on some parents. It’s just wrong and a lot of the time seems a good jolly for the teacher
Are you joking? 😂
School trips are incredibly stressful. We do them for the kids, because it's so worthwhile for them...

immortalmarble · 23/11/2018 20:29

I’m suggesting that I don’t care if the teacher cares or not. I do.

I’m suggesting that information doesn’t always stay private.

I’m suggesting that my children might just go to school without having to give out money we just didn’t have.

I’m suggesting times are really hard.

glamorousgrandmother · 23/11/2018 20:30

a jolly for the teachers

Because herding a group of children on and off coaches, getting them to their seats, accompanying them to the toilets, making sure no one is left behind is such fun. On the other hand, seeing the delight in their faces makes it worth while but it is for the children's benefit not the teachers.

Sirzy · 23/11/2018 20:30

And for some kids without those school trips they would never get to experience anything like that. But hey let your pride ruin it for everyone!

immortalmarble · 23/11/2018 20:30

maybe the op isn’t I don’t know and I don’t care, I know I. Couldn’t afford £10 when mine were at primary school and I felt so ashamed and like a bad parent and the ‘well it’s part of being a parent’ confirmed that.

So you beg steal or borrow to find that £10 so it isn’t your child ... but you shouldn’t have to.

Littlefish · 23/11/2018 20:31

a lot of the time seems a good jolly for the teacher.

Are you fucking kidding me, Imissgmichael.

Have you ever organised a school trip? Have you ever been on a school trip as a teacher, with responsibility for 30 children? "a good jolly" You are deluded.

MaisyPops · 23/11/2018 20:31

A lot of people are just keeping their heads above water
But I don't think anyone is disputing that.

There are options. Just because someone might not love the options in front of them doesn't mean there aren't options.

Why not do no trips? No revision guides? No nice experiences? Often things through school enable children from poorer backgrounds to access more opportunities because it's cheaper to send 1 child on a school discounted place than a family out (and PP funds chip in and PTAs often will pay for those who need it). Our department never finds out who has had support other than when we've applied to use the PP budget. But sure, let's do none of these things because a few people don't want it have a quiet chat with 1 person at school. (And then we can look forward to another thread about how the joy has been removed from school and how we can't afford to go to pantomime and the zoo and im gutted that DC doesn't get the chance anymore. I loved school trips. It's so sad everywhere is an exam factory these days)

Sirzy · 23/11/2018 20:31

You don’t have to. You could use the systems in place to cover it. If you choose not to rjen more fool you

ilovesooty · 23/11/2018 20:32

a good jolly for the teacher GrinGrin

My sides are splitting.

Feenie · 23/11/2018 20:32

It’s just wrong and a lot of the time seems a good jolly for the teacher.

What an absolute dick.

How can anyone be that ignorant? Baffling.

immortalmarble · 23/11/2018 20:33

And I’m saying those systems involve a level of disclosure I am not comfortable with.

Ivygarden · 23/11/2018 20:34

This really infuriates me. I am a teacher and, trust me, trips are not a “jolly”. In fact, my union advises us not to organise school trips.
Secondly, the only reason we call it a voluntary contribution is because we can’t force people to pay. If you choose not to pay then the school has to pay for your child and that money has to come out of some other pot. It’s not that your child goes for free. Can’t you offer to pay £1 a week for the next 10 weeks? Or set up some kind of payment plan?

Sirzy · 23/11/2018 20:34

Well that’s a choice you make. But don’t expect schools to punish all kids for the sake of your pride

MaisyPops · 23/11/2018 20:35

My sides are splitting.
Mine too.
50 year 11s watching Romeo and Juliet in the local small theatre isn't my idea of a jolly.
The worst is when you get mediocre touring companies who aren't that good and you've got all 200 of them in the hall and you can't make eye contact with some of your pupils because we all know we're 17 seconds from losing the will to live.
(Disclaimer - some touring companies are great and so are some performances)