AIBU to withdraw from charity assistance

[HoobaHooba]

There is a local food bank asking for families to do a Christmas food shop for vulnerable families at Christmas and deliver them just before Xmas - this was to include fresh food and meat etc.

The scheme arranged for you to directly contact the family to arrange delivery. I texted to say I’d deliver the shopping list in December.

Since then I’ve received texts asking for substitutes for the meat and clarification of what the parcel contains (although recipients should be aware of this already). Now I’ve received a text asking if I would do a food parcel other than at Christmas.

I’m concerned this family need extra support. I donate practically and financially regularly to food banks, charity shops etc and just can’t support another family on top of my own. There’s also a part of me resenting even being asked - I know that sounds awful but just because I’ve offered to do a one-off doesn’t mean I am able to do it regularly or when asked.

Advice please?

That does sound a bit... grabby?

I’d contact the food bank and explain to them and ask for advice.

What's the set up, you send a list of food which they choose from, you buy, pay for and deliver to a family? I have never heard of this, is it a recognised charity. I would buy one christmas meal once for one family, is there a spending limit.

That sounds really strange. Are you a regular volunteer?

This family is taking the piss.

I would contact the food bank and ask their advice and ask to be matched with another family.

I have had to use a food bank twice in the past and certainly had no intention of using them again, this family obviously do, with asking you to do another one later in the year, and it probably wouldn't end there.

Block this familys number.

It's very unusual for a charity to be giving volunteers' personal numbers to families.

way too grabby

The charity send a list of food for you to buy. You contact the recipient and arrange to deliver near Xmas.
I don’t volunteer regularly for them but do a different ‘largish’ charity donation/practical help at Xmas. And this year I thought buying a Christmas shop for someone would be a nice thing to do.

YANBU. I'd contact the charity organiser and tell them this is making you uncomfortable so you prefer to either be matched with another family or you will need to withdraw from the scheme. It's a pity that some people really take advantage.

Is it the family who are texting you, I would speak to the food bank, explain that you dont want them calling or texting you and maybe get another family to buy for.

It’s very odd and must be breaking all sorts of data protection laws, surely. Which charity is it?

It depends on how desperate they are.

As for the meat substitution, I don't like the idea that because someone is poor/homeless, they should be grateful for anything.

I would still do a one off hamper, but speak to the Charity about the extra request.

I actually think it’s a safeguarding issue. All they have from me is my mobile number so easy enough to block. I am going to withdraw and put the tinned stuff in a food bank.

This sounds like a gdpr nightmare. Now they have your contact details, how will you feel when they contact you in the new year for another parcel?

I wouldn't withdraw but I would ask for no further contact and do everything through the food bank, let them handle it.

It could be a misunderstanding, or shear desperation on the part of the other family, but you are not the solution to their problems.

Re the meat sub - I agree, I don’t think just because you’re poor you have to accept anything. I offered to buy any meat she wanted.

As for the meat substitution, I don't like the idea that because someone is poor/homeless, they should be grateful for anything.

At the same time, it's taking the piss when the list says turkey and you ask for something that's going to be far more expensive.

I think you're right, this doesn't sound right at all, continue with the food bank, what a shame someone has to ruin it.

I'd withdraw, tbh. Would not have offered to buy 'any meat she wanted'. Some types are very expensive, far more than a turkey crown, for example.

I can’t get my head around this.

Op, what charity is this? I see you have name changed so it shouldn’t be a problem to say who they are. This is seriously weird.

I’d rather not say tbh. It’s local to me.

They are behaving illegally, OP.

Is it a local charity, then? Just around at Christmas or all year?

I wonder if the charity might be well meaning but poorly thought through, and maybe hasn't made clear to the recipients the parameters of what is being offered.

I would not withdraw from doing what I said I would do, but I would discuss what is happening with the charity and ask them to contact the recipient and make clear that you will be able to deliver one shop only, and that is the extent of your involvement.

In future they need to think more carefully about how the donor client contact is managed.

OP when you say meat substitute, do you mean sub for something vegetarian or for a more expensive meat?

They’ve done this scheme for three or four Christmases.