AIBU to withdraw from charity assistance

[HoobaHooba]

There is a local food bank asking for families to do a Christmas food shop for vulnerable families at Christmas and deliver them just before Xmas - this was to include fresh food and meat etc.

The scheme arranged for you to directly contact the family to arrange delivery. I texted to say I’d deliver the shopping list in December.

Since then I’ve received texts asking for substitutes for the meat and clarification of what the parcel contains (although recipients should be aware of this already). Now I’ve received a text asking if I would do a food parcel other than at Christmas.

I’m concerned this family need extra support. I donate practically and financially regularly to food banks, charity shops etc and just can’t support another family on top of my own. There’s also a part of me resenting even being asked - I know that sounds awful but just because I’ve offered to do a one-off doesn’t mean I am able to do it regularly or when asked.

Advice please?

I wouldn't withdraw, the kids might be excited about the prospect of a proper Christmas dinner. I'd just text back and say that you aren't wealthy enough to make it a regular thing. I would tell the charity about it though.

This^

And in the future, choose another charity to volunteer with. Flag to them that their system is problematic. I agree that it’s a safeguarding issue.

For the posters saying that these items will be sold to fund the recipients addiction; are you saying that every single person who uses a food bank is feeding a habit? Maybe they are just a struggling family trying to get a Xmas meal that their dc will eat?

I totally agree that the 'are you giving more' texts are uncomfortable, but it is very hard to ascertain tone over a text message. They may havecSEN, they may be unaware that you are not a year round sponsor. They could of course be CF's, but personally'e like to give them the benefit of doubt.

I volunteered with a food bank that had lots of newcomer Syrian refugees. A few of the volunteers branded them CF's as they would request specific things, extra stuff, branded washing up liquid and returned clothes that they didn't like. It turned out that they did not realise the 'charity' connotations that come with a food bank and thought that this was a governmental thing of giving away extra food! Many of them were very embarrassed and angry that they had not been told.

For the posters saying that these items will be sold to fund the recipients addiction; are you saying that every single person who uses a food bank is feeding a habit?

The post in question pertained to shoplifting, not to foodbank recipients. People often shoplift particular items to flog to fund an addiction. That's entirely different to foodbank recipients.

I wouldn't pull out, but I'd contact the charity for sure. I'd tell them that you'll be providing the box agreed - to them, not the people who will eventually get it. You say they live quite close to you, which is even more reason for you not knocking on your door. Stay anon, do what you set out to do, but block their number and make sure the charity contacts them to let them know what will happen.

The main issue I have is that this family has asked you to do them a food parcel at other times of the year, too - trying to persuade you to help all year round. If they were in desperate need they really need to talk direct with the charity, or a local food bank - not you. This is the problem when it becomes more personal: people know it's more difficult for the giver to refuse. I had a problem once with Freecycle: gave someone some stuff for their baby, then I kept getting emails asking what else I had. Please be careful.

flighthelpneeded
I did say some, not all. 98% won't. 2% might. I live in a deprived area. It happens. People will sell food items to buy other things whether it be other food, drugs or alcohol. Plus it is xmas why shouldn't they.

I am just thinking it might not be what OP wants to happen to her donated food.