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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you have handled this situation - dd and theatre tickets

84 replies

twosoups1972 · 22/11/2018 14:03

The ONLY thing dd has asked for for Christmas is tickets to a West End musical. This musical closes this Saturday so it would have been an early Christmas present.

Dd reminded me about this a few times in the last few months but I don't know where the time went, I was busy with other things and Christmas seemed ages away. I forgot about it.

We both realised this week that it closes soon and I needed to get tickets. Spent hours yesterday online with no success - all sold out. Then late yesterday afternoon I saw a pair of tickets available for the Sat Mat which I grabbed. They were expensive (top price) but as dd really wanted to go I was happy to pay. The only slight doubt I had was that dd has a drama class on Saturday afternoons which she would have to miss and she has an exam coming up soon. However I thought she said her pieces were going well and she was ready.

So yesterday I told her the news and although initially she was thrilled, she was very worried about missing her class. She's doing a duologue with another girl who wouldn't be too happy about dd missing one of the last rehearsals.

There was a horrible atmosphere at home yesterday, dd was moody and sulky with the odd sarcastic comment thrown in for good measure. I was quite pissed off especially as I had spent time getting these tickets.

However last night dd came down and said her piece - she said she really is grateful but worried about missing her class. Also, she said it was the only thing she had asked for and me forgetting about it made her feel quite low priority. And she said that as she's been so stressed with schoolwork (Year 11 with mocks in Jan), small things have been getting to her more than normal.

I do feel bad about leaving it so late, had I have been more organised, there would have been a better range of tickets available and on a more convenient date.

I've spoken to the theatre - the only way we could possibly change them is bringing the mat tickets in to see if they can resell them (quite likely I imagine) and seeing if we can get day tickets or return tickets for Sat evening (possible but would involve getting to the theatre early Sat morning).

Thoughts please?

OP posts:
Bodear · 22/11/2018 14:07

Congratulations on raising such a mature and thoughtful dd. I think she has a point about being low in your priorities. You should ask her what she wants to do and do that.

fortheloveofmum · 22/11/2018 14:08

Personally I would get to the theatre early Saturday morning and try and get tickets for the evening performance.

I would want to make amends to my DD for making her feel low down on the priority list. It takes minutes to book theatre tickets online and you have had months to book knowing it is the only thing she wants for Christmas so I can understand why she feels that way.

RosieStarr · 22/11/2018 14:11

It was clearly important to her, and you’ve just not got it sorted. She has a right to be annoyed. Is the show not touring at all?

Original poster
twosoups1972 · 22/11/2018 14:13

I don't think it's touring and dd wanted to see this particular cast.

Thank you, I do feel bad and am kicking myself for not sorting it earlier.

OP posts:
bigfatfeet · 22/11/2018 14:19

Is the show Heathers? If so, there are rumours it will tour next year with Carrie Hope Fletcher, so you might have a second chance.

Also, the fans for this show are hardcore, so if you're thinking about getting tickets for the Saturday evening show, you'll need to be at the theatre about 5am, but you shouldn't have any trouble reselling the matinee tickets.

Would suggest stalking the theatre forums for more information (it's my guilty pleasure).

IsadoraQuagmire · 22/11/2018 14:25

If it's the show I think it is, it's going to be really hard to get tickets for the last performance (though you'll easily be able to get rid of the matinee tickets)

I've been/am going every night this week and Saturday night has been sold out for a while (though one of my friends did manage to get a single ticket for it yesterday)

People have been queuing up for day seats REALLY early (like bringing sleeping bags) all through the run as it was only 12 weeks.

If you're talking about another show, ignore me! Grin

Hermagsjesty · 22/11/2018 14:25

Difficult situation. Your daughter sounds very mature and emotionally articulate. You should be proud of her.
It may be worth speaking to her Drama teacher and see if she could offer any advice/ reassurance on missing the class...?
If not, I think you’re only option is to get to the theatre very, very early Sat morning and try to get evening tickets - I think you owe it to your DD to try and make amends and prove she is a priority.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 22/11/2018 14:27

She sounds exceptionally level headed. She doesn't want to renegade on her prior commitments to attend the performance you have had months to book tickets to.

I think in her situation I would have acted the same and I think her reaction was justified. I'm not sure what the solution is as I would imagine it is not very likely you will get tickets to the evening performance when Saturday is the last day?

Original poster
twosoups1972 · 22/11/2018 14:31

Thank you all.

Yes it is Heathers and she really wanted to see Carrie Hope Fletcher. That's hopeful there might be a tour next year but I really want to get her the tickets now as promised.

I didn't know it was so popular. Wonder if tomorrow (Friday) evening is more likely?

OP posts:
Original poster
twosoups1972 · 22/11/2018 14:34

@bigfatfeet I wonder if there is a forum I could post about doing a swap with someone who has evening tickets...?

OP posts:
JellyBaby666 · 22/11/2018 14:35

Can't the girl she's rehearsing with arrange to meet earlier in the day?

I don't think YABU, sometimes we as adults forget things. Human nature! She articulated it very well, I think the expectation she gets what she wants and that she's low on your priorities when I'm sure you feed her, clothe her etc etc is a bit much. She's lucky you were willing to spend so much to get her what she wanted!

Original poster
twosoups1972 · 22/11/2018 14:37

jellybelly they have a class at 4.30pm. The other girl does live locally so yes they can (and have done in the past) meet up to practice but I suppose it's not the same as being in the class.

OP posts:
IsadoraQuagmire · 22/11/2018 14:38

The theatre website is showing completely full (just had a look) for Friday and Saturday and only one ticket left for tonight.
I know Carrie's not doing the matinee today (Olivia Moore is playing Veronica) but as far as I know she's on tonight.

There's talk of a tour (just talk at present), but the present cast won't all be available..

Original poster
twosoups1972 · 22/11/2018 14:40

Thank you Isadora so I was actually incredibly lucky to get the Sat Mat tickets.

OP posts:
JellyBaby666 · 22/11/2018 14:41

I admire her dedication, Saturday drama rehearsals weren't fun when I was at school! I'd see if they can meet earlier, and maybe speak to the drama teacher and find out what exactly she'd miss? If its just time and space to rehearse, they can do that away from the class surely?

BringOutTheDancingGirls · 22/11/2018 14:41

The ONLY thing dd has asked for for Christmas is tickets

And then:

I forgot about it.

Poor kid, and in her GCSE year as well.

Biancadelriosback · 22/11/2018 14:42

I would be so very hurt if I were your DD. She handled it better than I would have at her age. YABU if you feel annoyed at her in any way tbh.
I don't really think you're going to have any luck tbh, and I think this memory will be tainted for her. I'd try and do something extra special to make it up to her.
Not sure if you still can, but you used to be able to buy theatre vouchers, perhaps buy her some of these as well to put towards a future show?
It's also not fair to miss her last rehearsal as this will have an impact on someone else.

IsadoraQuagmire · 22/11/2018 14:42

Now the ticket for tonight has just gone anyway, so no chance from the actual theatre...

CosimaNiehaus · 22/11/2018 14:44

Day tickets are definitely a big ask - there's been quite a brouhaha about some die hard fans getting there very early to get them so if you want them you need to be there early hours of the morning early I'm afraid.

I'd definitely try and reschedule DD's rehearsal with her partner. Not least because it's an incredible show and your DD will love it if she gets to go (I've been three times, gutted I can't go this week!).

Original poster
twosoups1972 · 22/11/2018 14:46

I know, I know, I feel crap. There is a lot going on at home - youngest dd recently diagnosed with ASD and just started secondary school, oldest dd stressed with A Levels and uni application, and middle dd (this one) stressed with school and exams etc. I do try very hard to meet all their needs and be there for all of them but there are times when it doesn't happen. I do my best.

I can see a trip to the theatre at 5am coming up on Sat morning.

The other option is Friday night - dh works in town and could maybe be at the theatre early to see if he can get tickets for that night.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 22/11/2018 14:53

I would see if you could smooth things with the drama teacher and the other girl. Hopefully if you are apologetic enough and grovel enough the drama teacher will take pity on you and rearrange a session for the two girls.

Trying to swap at the theatre on the Saturday of the last show sounds extremely high stakes.

Original poster
twosoups1972 · 22/11/2018 14:55

@bigfatfeet can you point me in the direction of a reliable theatre forum?

OP posts:
Original poster
twosoups1972 · 22/11/2018 14:56

this memory will be tainted for her

This is what's worrying me. I have pointed out to dd that one class won't really make a difference, she has got distinctions in all other exams. But if she ends up doing badly in this one, she'll blame me/the fact she missed the class.

OP posts:
ShalomJackie · 22/11/2018 14:57

Don't feel too bad about putting it on the list with all that you have going on. I suspect it was very much a parked idea and I will get round to it.,

I go with the suggestion about meeting the girl another time so they can rehearse, speak to the drama teacher and apologise but explain that they will be meeting and does the drama teacher have any suggestions as to what they should go over in particular.

I suspect the UCAS application has taken priority just as yr 11 dd will take priority for January mocks.

peachgreen · 22/11/2018 15:00

I wouldn't think anybody is going to swap final performance for matinee tickets OP - you were so lucky to get those, honestly. If you do want to try for returns I think you might have to stay overnight - there have been reports of fans getting there at midnight!