How would you have handled this situation - dd and theatre tickets

[twosoups1972]

The ONLY thing dd has asked for for Christmas is tickets to a West End musical. This musical closes this Saturday so it would have been an early Christmas present.

Dd reminded me about this a few times in the last few months but I don't know where the time went, I was busy with other things and Christmas seemed ages away. I forgot about it.

We both realised this week that it closes soon and I needed to get tickets. Spent hours yesterday online with no success - all sold out. Then late yesterday afternoon I saw a pair of tickets available for the Sat Mat which I grabbed. They were expensive (top price) but as dd really wanted to go I was happy to pay. The only slight doubt I had was that dd has a drama class on Saturday afternoons which she would have to miss and she has an exam coming up soon. However I thought she said her pieces were going well and she was ready.

So yesterday I told her the news and although initially she was thrilled, she was very worried about missing her class. She's doing a duologue with another girl who wouldn't be too happy about dd missing one of the last rehearsals.

There was a horrible atmosphere at home yesterday, dd was moody and sulky with the odd sarcastic comment thrown in for good measure. I was quite pissed off especially as I had spent time getting these tickets.

However last night dd came down and said her piece - she said she really is grateful but worried about missing her class. Also, she said it was the only thing she had asked for and me forgetting about it made her feel quite low priority. And she said that as she's been so stressed with schoolwork (Year 11 with mocks in Jan), small things have been getting to her more than normal.

I do feel bad about leaving it so late, had I have been more organised, there would have been a better range of tickets available and on a more convenient date.

I've spoken to the theatre - the only way we could possibly change them is bringing the mat tickets in to see if they can resell them (quite likely I imagine) and seeing if we can get day tickets or return tickets for Sat evening (possible but would involve getting to the theatre early Sat morning).

Thoughts please?

I’d throw DH out the door at 3am tomorrow with a thermos of coffee and a blanket to try and get Friday evening day tickets. That way you can know whether it’s safe to return the Saturday matinees. (Assuming that’s how it works - I could do you chapter and verse on the Hamilton lottery but DD doesn’t like CHF so we’re not doing Heathers).

How close to performance are they for the duologue, and have you spoken to the teacher?

Those two things make a massive difference to how reasonable it is for her to miss the group.

Show next week and no communication - she needs to be in rehearsal or she will hear about it forever and it will spoil the tickets for her for Heathers, as well as impacting on future work with that group if he makes her look unreliable and you un-supportive.

Alternately, show three months away and teacher been told so she can re-plan her afternoon session - not a concern, worry about it later, go and have a great time.

You need to know which it is, because - whilst there probably are other ways of 'rehearsing' with the other girl, that may be not with the director/teacher as well, which can be a bit of a biggie. People outside of productions often don't 'get' how tight a schedule can get as performance dates get near, and 'you can do it another time/by skype' is often not the obvious solution it seems.

It's possible your DD knows something about this that you aren't seeing, which would affect how reasonable she is to be concerned and why she's so stressed by it. I'd ask the question before being cross with her for not being completely delighted by your last minute panic!

" I'm sure we've all asked for things and our parents got it wrong in one way or another. "

Or we didn't get it at all as it was too pricey!

Thank you, I've sent an email to the drama teacher to see what he thinks.

Their exam is on 9th December - after this class on Saturday, they have one more class on 1st Dec then mock on 2nd Dec. Dd and her partner have pretty much been most weeks.

I'll talk to dd about it when she gets in from school. There is still a chance I'll be able to get Fri night tickets - the Sat mat ones came up unexpectedly yesterday.

An update from the drama teacher:

'dd should go see the play, I’ll work on [other girl's] monologue this week and they can both come in half an hour early to rehearse before their mock'

Fantastic her drama teacher will want her to be exposed to as much live performance as possible much better for her than an exam that there is no panic about, hopefully your dd will understand that you fixed it for her to go .

She was being slightly over dramatic about it

There you go, problem solved.

Have fun!

I was going to suggest that other girl in the duologue meets up with your DD out of drama class and they practise together on another day. But !see Drama teacher has been great and sorted things. Hope your Dd enjoys the show .

Assume a London show. Could you try the ticket booth in Leicester Square?

As a middle child myself I empathise with her feeling low priority!

Just seen update - win-win. Glad drama teacher has been so reasonable.

Hooray! You’ll both have an amazing time. Very jealous indeed! Let us know what she thinks of it.

I’m going against the grain here but I think she sounds a bit ungrateful. You bought her expensive, hard-to-get-hold-of tickets. Yes, you did leave it a bit late but who’s to say you would have been able to get tickets for a different date even if you did book earlier? You sound like you have a lot going on, don’t beat yourself up about this. DD can rehearse another time, she’ll get over any upset.

Cross post. Glad it’s resolved!

heathers is utterly fabulous and you should defo go like the drama teacher told you!

(Wanders away singing Candy store)

Btw is it a musical of the film Heathers?

I must be the worst mother in the world, because I'd be annoyed. Firstly, I wouldn't have considered this was a proper Christmas present, as you'd have to get her another one for Christmas Day, secondly the tickets were probably very expensive, thirdly I think she's been ungrateful.

@twosoups1972 - is there any way the drama teacher would give her a one-off private lesson, to make up for missing Saturday’s class? Obviously you would have to pay, but it would be easier than going into London early and hoping for returns.

Dd has just got home from school and we talked it through. She said it was more about being wanted to be heard rather than the actual tickets. Anyway she's very happy really appreciated my efforts to sort out. She's going to meet with her partner after school next week to practice their duologue.

I'm going to keep an eye online just in case any Fri or Sat night tickets become available but if not she'll go to the mat.

You just have to apologise your intention wasn't to sideline her maybe take her put for lunch/dinner on Saturday just you two, life is busy we forget things try and not feel too guilty

"She said it was more about being wanted to be heard rather than the actual tickets. "

But she was heard-& will get what she wanted!

Perhaps she would rather you hadn't purhased the tickets due to the clash?

Wow, I can't believe some of the responses here. Of course you could have got seats for a different date if you'd have booked earlier. I'm also amazed that you thought it would be easy to get tickets for a London show a few days beforehand? I think you were very lucky to get any tickets at all. It's not dd's fault you had to spend time browsing the sites or that you had to pay out top dollar for the seats - that is what happens if you don't book tickets well in advance. If i had asked months ago for tickets to one particular show as my only present from someone close to me, and they hadn't bothered to try to book anything until shortly before the show closed despite me reminding them over several MONTHS, I would feel very hurt indeed.

love it does depend on the show though. In the past we've sometimes been lucky getting tickets with only a few days notice even for popular shows. Yes I should have booked earlier but nothing I can do about that now.

Tell her the final matinee of a run is "muck up matinee" so she might get to see something special. I love a muck up matinee!